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What didn't you learn in sex ed that you would have benefited from?

AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,056 Boards Guru

Hey everyone,

Research has found that young people felt they ought to have known more and felt that they didn't know enough when they first felt ready for sexual experience.

What didn't you learn in sex ed that you would have benefited from?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

- Aife
Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤


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    LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    I definitely learned enough about contraceptives and STIs but i feel it did lack in contraception for queer individuals and definitely around Sexual activity and intercourse.

    Consent needs to be talked about much more and more openly.
    We also need to educate people on how sex doesn't make you "cool" and how just because your friends are you shouldn't have to ect.

    We need to stop bigging it up and giving people unrealistic ideas in their head,
    Sex isn't always perfect, it can be great first time, it can really hurt, it can not work at all.
    It's sweaty, sometimes awkward, not glamourous, and not at all like they teach you or what you see in the movies, we need to be taught about what intercourse is really like and to take people seriously when they have problems and not give them simple answers like more lube, or some alcohol ect. They need to include information and awareness for Vaginismus, sperm allergies, vulvodynia, and other conditions x

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,557 Skive's The Limit
    I never learnt on what to do straight away if thought had been raped. Like how to approach police. Or where to turn for support if lose your virginity to a rapist. Also think consent needed to be talked about more too. I think I remember being taught most things. I just think it was very rushed a vague and brief. Like I don’t remember that well.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    FranFran Posts: 118 The Mix Convert
    Hey everyone!!
    I had sex education during my pre-adolescence years at school. What I can say is that it was way too focused on the anatomical part and way too elusive on the psychological one. None ever told us at school that sex involves mind, too. I can say that we were not prepared to face all the aspects of sex and I believe it's absolutely dangerous as things now are moving really fast and it's really important for young adolescence to know what sex means and what are all the aspects connected with that. Anatomical part is useful, but it's not enough! What children should know, according to me, is that sex is not a game and that it affects people life as it cause consequences that they have to know and be ready to face.

    - Fran
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    Candlestick56Candlestick56 Posts: 90 Budding Regular
    Hey everyone!

    Our sex education was really bad at school and had loads of gaps so there are loads of things that I didn't learn in sex ed that I could think I could have benefited from! To name a few:

    -The alternatives to tampons and pads, e.g. Mooncup
    -Different types on contraception and specifically more about how the pill effects hormones
    -More emphasis on just how disruptive hormones are to your body
    -What is HPV and what happens if you have it
    -What to expect when you visit a sexual health clinic
    -What services are available for advice, including advice for good sex
    -How much sex can affect you emotionally and hormonally (as Fran mentions above)
    -More detail about the female/male anatomy works (again as Fran mentions)

    ....and loads more that I can't think of right now!

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    Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    I think the main thing missing for me was that I feel we should all be taught about consent! Although this was a hotter topic at uni for obvious reasons, I think it would have helped to make the topic of consent really clear from a young age... Would probably help more people than we'd initially think.
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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    One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 605 Incredible Poster
    I think a big one for me would be about sexual consent means more than no to sex! It can mean no to unwanted touching, questions advances ect.

    We only sort of touched on conset (very slight) and when I found myself being sexually bullied/harassed I felt so confused, upset, angry, scared and guilty.

    I didn’t know what to do which I think comes from today’s society on what we find acceptable and what we don’t. Eg when I spoke to a certain friend about it she came out with “its Just what guys do, it’s not a big deal” or another friend who I asked if I was overreacting said that I was a bit. But for me the fact that they were touching me around my waist, shoulders and neck/face. Was really horrible.

    It took me a while to speak out about it but once I stopped leading me to my next point on that teachers and students don’t know enough in how to deal with these feelings if this happens same as me I was sexually harassed and while it may not sound a big deal to some to me I was really shaken by it. I was jumpy and extremely vigilant when out, felt really down in myself (more stuff to say but don’t wanna drag my point on)
    The teachers never asked if I needed support after the bullying had stopped but I really did. I had trouble in my first relationship with being touched in certain ways eg I hated and still don’t particularly like being pulled in or held by my waist. I got counselling at college a couple years later

    Another aspect was that having a partner and having sex is not something you have to do by a certain time. There was so much pressure before the bullying began for me to get a boyfriend and I wasn’t so sure. However I started to talking to a huy on Facebook who was a friend of my friend. I felt kind of safe however I think miss communication played a big part in this. First we were talking and then he pulled me closer to him and kissed me.. I guess I was ok with it. He held me a bit tighter and kissed me again this time a bit longer, at this point I decided I didn’t like it but wasn’t sure what to do. I stopped kissing back although he carried on kissing me and my body had now become more tense and stiff (not moving when he was pulling me closer)

    Anyway I got away in the end and when I spoke to him about it. He honestly seemed like he was surprised he was like “I thought you wanted sex with me, it seemed like you did” (we didn’t sleep) but I think that is an example of when someone has stopped doing what they were doing in this case I stopped kissing him. That should be a hint for them to stop and ask if everything’s ok.

    I sm 23 and still a virgin and currently single again. But I think there isn’t enough information in sex ed
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    AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,914 Extreme Poster
    I felt that most of it was covered quite well - the three main things that were missed though were consent, non-heterosexual relationships, and what to do when you've been abused/raped/assaulted. Consent was touched upon briefly, but given that an entire lesson was dedicated to STIs, some of that time could have been reallocated! And since non-heterosexual relationships are uncommon but do happen, I felt it would be helpful to learn about, as well as dispel some of the homophobia that occurs in school culture. Finally, it was never mentioned on what to do about being abused/raped - something that could potentially be life-saving information to someone in that position!x

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