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She’s acting cold I don’t know why

JakeJahadJakeJahad Posts: 1 Just got here
I don’t get why my girlfriend is giving me the cold shoulder. We’ve been doing so well the past few days then she suddenly gave me one-word replies. I don’t know what I did although I have a hunch. I may have slipped a comment about how hot her brother’s girlfriend was. The said girlfriend was from a foreign dating event and when she showed me a photo I said she looked hot. I already apologized but to know avail. I also asked her what was wrong and she said nothing was but everything just feels so wrong. I don’t think I deserve to be treated coldly if I didn’t do anything wrong.


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    AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,914 Extreme Poster
    Hi JakeJahad,

    For what it's worth, I don't think you meant any harm. You saw someone that looked attractive, and said so. It might have been misinterpreted that you fancy her brother's girlfriend, which might suggest some insecurity about how your girlfriend perceives herself.

    It may be that she needs a little time. Otherwise, I think the next step is to sit down together and talk things out. Open communication is the best way to resolve this!x

    Much love <3
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    TheAprilFoolTheAprilFool Posts: 187 Helping Hand
    Hi @JakeJahad

    I think that it would be best if you could try to arrange a time and place for you to talk to your girlfriend about what has been bothering her. If she doesn't respond, it might be that she needs some space. Maybe you could let her know that you understand why she's angry, but remind her that you can't really fix anything unless she is open and honest about what she is feeling.

    I hope things work out for you.
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    Tee ATee A Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    Hi @JakeJahad

    ​Thank-you for feeling comfortable enough to share your situation.

    ​From what you have said there appears to be an issue with communication in your relationship at the moment. Don't worry. This can be resolved.
    ​I suggest you and your girlfriend sitting down together and verbally communicating what issues or problems you both feel are interfering with the relationship (maybe discuss the comment you made about the other girl again). Hopefully this way she will feel more at ease to explain how she feels instead of giving you one word responses. Maybe try to incorporate this into your relationship regularly so the both of you don't let things escalate.

    ​Good Luck :wave:

    ​-Tee A
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    FranFran Posts: 118 The Mix Convert
    Hey @JakeJahad,
    As well as the others have already said, open communication can be the key.
    You can ask her why your comment bothered her so much and listen to her reasons. I think she may appreciate you being interested in her feelings because maybe her cold answers are a way to attract your attention as she want to talk to you but she wants you to take the first step.
    The sooner you talk, the better, as you don't make this situation become too bigger when you can actually talk and solve it.

    Good luck!!

    - Fran
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    Candlestick56Candlestick56 Posts: 90 Budding Regular
    Hi Jakejahad,

    First off, you didn't do anything wrong.

    It's worth noting that there may be another reason (or combination of reasons) as to why she's being cold with you, even if you suspect it's the comment you made about her brother's girlfriend. So first of all, you could try to establish properly if this is why she's upset.

    I would suggest rather than asking her directly if that's why she's being off with you (as you said she's already told you nothing's wrong, she's likely to deny it even it is), you could try thinking of something else that could potentially be effecting her mood (e.g. might she be stressed about study deadlines or work or family?) and ask her if this is bothering instead because it sends the message you care about her rather than being concerned that she is pissed off at you, if you see what I mean.. So then if she says no those things are fine, you have a better idea that it's because of the comment you made.

    If the comment is what's at the heart of her coldness then it's likely that the real reason she's being off with you is because she feels insecure about herself and thinks that you saying someone else is hot is like you saying she is not. There is a pretty simple way to fix this - tell her that you find her hot! Even better, tell her why you find her hotter and are more attracted to her than you are to her brother's girlfriend! Feelings of jealousy usually result from a low self esteem so the best way to make things better is to build it back up; complements, flirting and surprises to show how much you care about someone all work. So maybe try that?

    Hope that helps :)


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