Confused

Former Member

Hey, I'm new to this website.*

Tbh I don't know where to start. I have a boyfriend we've been together for 4 years. I've always been attracted to both sexes. But I've only been with guys. I've always wanted to try something with a girl but was too shy. Etc. I told my boyfriend that I'm attracted to guys & girls, and he seems to think it''s some sort of faze. Am I bi-curious?.

Former Member

Hey there Kels and welcome to the forums.

First of all thank you for sharing your feelings here I know it can be a bit embarrassing talking about this kind of thing with strangers but it's great that you're here! While I'm not exactly an expert on the subject I think a lot of bisexual people feel worried about this kind of thing, as you say asking themselves if they're bi-curious or if it's a phase. What's important to remember is that no-one can decide your sexuality for you, at the end of the day it's your choice how you want to identify! You might even want to do a bit of reading on the subject to help you better understand how you're feeling and if that's the case I'd be happy to give you a few links to some articles you might find helpful. Best of luck with it all!

- Riley

Azziman

Hi Kels25,

If you like guys and girls, then you like guys and girls. If that changes, so be it. If not, then that's fine too. There's nothing wrong with liking someone (as long as it's legal), so call it what you like. You're simply attracted to who you're attracted to, and that's okay!x

Much love

Former Member

Hey @Past User,

Welcome to the board :wave:
It's good to hear that you have found the courage to talk about that with your boyfriend!! With time and experiences you'll realize whether it's being be-curious or it's just a phase. Anyway, keep on living your life and your relationship without feeling worried about having to justify your attraction. if you are attracted by girls and boys that's ok and that's nothing to worry about!! xxx

- Fran

Former Member

Hi @Past User

​Welcome to The Mix!

​Not only does it take a lot to come on here and post, but it sounds like you've been really open in your relationship too. The more open you are with your boyfriend and the more your communicate, the better. He may not understand at the moment as it may be new to the both of you, so that's why it's great you've let him know and opened up that line of communication on the subject.

​At the end of the day, everyone is different. We all like different things and different people. And this can change all the time. Life is about exploring ourselves and what makes us happy. Sometimes we realise things earlier on in life, other times, it's later on and when we are older.
If you're becoming curious or having some new feelings, first of all, don't be afraid of them! Like everyone has said above, your sexuality might change in the future, but it is also possible that you are just having strong attraction towards the same sex in more of a platonic way. There is actually a lot of different forms of attraction. For example, some people identify as having romantic feelings towards the same sex but not sexually and vice versa.

​So at the moment, don't feel that you have to label yourself in any way. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone and this is all about you. Just be curious, and lots of research can help you figure it out. Only you can, but there's plenty of books, media, information and even bisexual or curious groups out there.

​Hope some of this helps to clear your confusion, embrace it!

​-PositiveAura:rainbow2:

Former Member

Hi there @Past User

Thanks for sharing this, it's very similar to something I've experienced.
It's great to be open and honest in a relationship, so good on you for having that chat.

I am bi-sexual, and when I've told partners in the past I've been told that it's a phase. It's something that's often of people say as a reaction.
There is also a pressure for bi-sexual or bi-curious people to 'prove' that they are what they say, which is horrible and completely unjustified.
You have nothing to prove to anyone, and no one to answer to. Being yourself is all you can do, and you label it how you like.

There could be some helpful info here : http://www.youngstonewall.org.uk/lgbtq-info
And also here : http://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/gender-and-sexuality/bisexual-myths-3350.html
Talking to your friends about it, and people other than your partner could give you some good perspective.

I always just thought 'I could find anyone attractive regardless of gender..' long before I gave it a name.

I hope you get on okay, and I'm happy to answer any questions you may have, or offer further help.

PuffinEthics

Former Member

Interesting, thanks for the link.