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AbigailAbigail Posts: 816 Part of The Mix Family
I know I tend not to share much about how I am feeling ... and I know that can be quite hard for you guys to understand things about me. I am aware that some of you find it helpful having me around … and I can probably guess some of you think otherwise but generally thinking I do not give a flying pig what other think about me now.

I struggle with my own anxiety, I struggle to balance social life, work life and caring all alongside a 4 day college timetable. I am aware that I am not perfect but I will sometimes get up in a morning I might feel like shit but I go to myself ‘this is the best I can get from today’ ye that is negative but that is how I woke up on Wednesday. One of the hard thing about being a carer is trying to juggle the different balls and having to keep them all in the air so you can just us your hand for a bit of self-care is really hard, I know what I struggle with might seem like nothing but I am known as the rock not just in college but also at home, It might also be shown on here sometime.

For the first time on Friday I showed an emotion in college what was a deep emotion for me to feel within the college campus. I have felt anger, empathy and more that I can’t name there all what I have given off. I have never felt sad, annoyed and depressiveness all at once before will I have been in college … but I did on Friday. I got a bad result (only a merit) but only because I want distinction I was annoyed with myself when I didn’t get it.

I just want to let you know I am human, I am not a robot (neither are the mods) we all have feeling and sometime we have a bad day and I fully understand them … but I will share with you what I do to make sure I am as calm as I can be before I fall asleep.

9pm get all my mums tablets ready, get her room ready and make 3 hot brews for the family come back into chat for closing round.
9:30pm I put my headphones in and get thing ready for the next day then read my book and finish my brew.
10pm grab my phone take my headphone off and I catch up with YouTube and social media’s
Between 11 and 1 I normally will be asleep by then.

If you think this has been aimed at you then I promise you it wasn’t it just the way I type (emotional writer) Stay true to yourself and if you get to a point in the day where that the best you can do then it ok, don’t force yourself to do anything.

If you’re still reading this gold star for you, pat on the back :rainbow::rainbow2:

Abi
Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.

Comments

  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,826 Extreme Poster
    Hi Abi!x

    Sorry to hear how you're feeling - hopefully writing it out was helpful for you! I'm sure that others who see this will find your sleep routine advice really helpful as well.

    It's okay - we all can have bad days sometimes, so it's definitely okay to feel that way sometimes. I just hope that you can find some time in your busy routine to look after yourself and address the issues you face - we all need help sometimes!x

    Much love <3
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  • FranFran Posts: 118 The Mix Convert
    Hey @Abigail,

    That's really great that you have decided to share your thoughts, as I believe it can be really useful both for you and for everyone who can read this. It can help you because writing down our thoughts is a good first step to find a little bit of inner peace. It can help the others as it is can be a common experience.
    Thank you for sharing the positive thoughts about the fact that people are not superheroes!!
    I agree with @Azziman and hope that you can find some time just for yourself, to do something just for you, as a sort of gift to yourself!!

    Take care :heart:

    - Fran
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