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How healthy is it to check what your partner is up to on social media?

AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,056 Boards Guru

Hey everyone,

With social media being so accessible now it's very easy to check up on your partner's social media activity. How healthy is it to check what your partner is up to on social media?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

- Aife
Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤


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    MirabelleMirabelle Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    Checking up on one's partner's social media shows distrust and could be viewed as a form of stalking. Unless one has a valid reason, such as the friends we share, I think checking up is best not done.

    For couples who have broken up, there is a more serious aspect in cyber-stalking. If that happens often, then it breaks the other person's privacy. Stalkers who persist can be reported for harrassment as shown here: https://www.gov.uk/report-stalker
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,557 Skive's The Limit
    Idk. maybe ive read wrong. But if you follow their social media accounts wouldnt need to check up on their social media accounts? Would just show up on feed? I dont think is unhealthy unless go out of their way everyday to see things like - what they have been liking on social media & stuff.

    Think would be unhealthy to keep checking someone just broke up with though.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    peachysoopeachysoo Posts: 151 Helping Hand
    Completely agree with @Mirabelle. Checking up on your partners social media, at least if you're doing it regularly and/or with certain motives behind it (due to distrust), is definitely not something that should happen in a healthy relationship. It'd be best to talk to the other party about any insecurities or worries that are likely to have driven the person to act like this.

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    FranFran Posts: 118 The Mix Convert
    Hey everyone!!
    I agree with the fact that checking up on one's partner social media shows distrust. I refer to accessing his/her account through the password without the other one being aware of that but also checking up on every activity the partner has on the social media, such as likes and comments or followings. If I actually knew that my partner did that to me I would feel lost and distrusted, so I can't see the point in doing it myself.
    Talking about any possible insecurity is definitely the best option ever.

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    PositiveAuraPositiveAura Posts: 150 Helping Hand
    Hi Everyone!

    I think this all depends on what is meant by 'checking up'.

    For example if you live apart or long distance, seeing what your partner is doing can just be out of interest, curiosity and even connecting over social media.

    But on the other hand if you are checking in because of worry and not trusting the other person, this is when it can become an issue. And this can be made even worse if you are logging into their account to check things in secret.

    If this is the case, then stopping all the checking in and working through that distrust should be done. :)

    If you're just interested in their social media then this can be harmless, but if you have ulterior motives then this can definitely cause other problems!

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    FeatheredDreamsFeatheredDreams Posts: 91 Budding Regular
    Depends on what checking up is.

    I follow my best friends on all the media i can just beacuse we reference stuff we talk about on media platforms a lot, so someone can say in group chat "you kow x thing?" and i know x thing cus they retweeted it and such.

    Even browsing someones profile isn't necessarily bad, if it's only to find jokes you missed out on or to find a certain post someone did so you can link it to someone else with good motives (sharing good stories).

    But things like searching for comments just to see what people are saying about them/who talks to them, what they like, who else they're talking to, who follows them & who they follow - no, that's invasive, in some cases abusive even, especially if done excessively (more than once every few months) to the point you're stalking them on social media.

    I kind of assume that in a relationship these days, you're gonna be sharing with your partner what you see in social media anyway and having a lot of conversations outside of facebook, twitter etc. (be it text (especially for long distance relationships) or face to face) on subjects you found on social media just so you can talk about it, so checking up on someones profile, to me, isn't necessary.
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 976 Part of The Mix Family
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    AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,914 Extreme Poster
    Aife wrote: »

    Hey everyone,

    With social media being so accessible now it's very easy to check up on your partner's social media activity. How healthy is it to check what your partner is up to on social media?

    Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

    - Aife

    Hi all,

    On the one hand, it might be nice to see what your partner is up to. Maybe they've gone to a dinner, and you'd like to know the place so you could see it sometime?

    On the other hand, social media has a habit of making us feel left out. Added to the fact that it can easily become an unhealthy habit of stalking, and there are negatives as well.

    Overall, I think a look every now and then does no harm. It becomes an issue when it becomes a regular habit or obsession!x

    Much love <3
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