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What can you learn from arguing with your partner?

AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 2,920 Boards Guru

Hey everyone,

Arguments in relationships are normal and sometimes they can help us learn new things about our partner. In your own relationship, what can you learn from arguing with your partner?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

- Aife
Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤


  • MirabelleMirabelle Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    Jules and I don't generally have issues, therefore we don't argue about anything much. Except recently I said, "Love me, love my owl," to which she acquiesced with a quiet nod and the rolling of eyes. Ahh, ha haa! :heart:

    We have our own interests, but then have special times together. For example, going for a drive, or walking or sharing songs we've written and want to record for an album. Jules is a great listener. She admits to learning much from my actions rather than words though she and I do debate subjects, listening to the other's perspective while understanding the other isn't necessarily correct, but because it's healthy not to bite back an angry word. This in itself is not fighting, but letting my darling express the need to, which to me is a healthy sign of mutual respect. Does that makes sense?

    As a couple, Jules and I are very close. We like our own bedrooms though and me, my quiet room in the country house we will be moving to soon. So we go about our various hobbies, but in the evenings spend quality time together which is bonding so lovely and cuddly by the fire with our little family watching the tv or doing their own thing like a jigsaw puzzle. More often there will family arguments, if say, a jigsaw puzzle slides to the floor. But most families have their ups and downs, though I rule the kitchen!

    Come St Valentines day, Jules and I will have been together for one year. During these twelve months we've learnt that we can argue, but never be angry at the other and we never bottle things up. We wear a gold ring we bought for the other. It's a sign of committment, of trust and important of all, love. :)
  • peachysoopeachysoo Posts: 151 Helping Hand
    Hi Aife,

    I think that arguments are an important way for a couple to grow in terms of trust and understanding. This would depend on the topic of the argument, but, with good communication, arguments provide the chance to learn about your partner's opinions on topics you mightn't otherwise talk about. Even if you disagree with their opinions, it allows you to talk about your differences and, hopefully, become more understanding and open-minded about each others' views. From this, I think a relationship can continually improve!

  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,715 Extreme Poster
    Hi Aife,

    Like you say, arguments happen all the time in relationships. It lets us know that on certain issues, we have different viewpoints. It tells us which issues mean more to each person, and which mean nothing to each person. Discussing this difference in opinion helps us build a bridge to understand one another better. In addition, being able to argue means that you both feel comfortable enough to express your views to one another!x

    Much love <3
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  • FranFran Posts: 118 The Mix Convert
    Hey Aife,
    I think that arguments help a couple grow. My boyfriend and I used to quarrel a lot during the first months of our relationship because we were really different. But arguments help you understand each other, give you the possibility to express your needs and to shed lights about some unexpressed things.
    A good communication is what makes a relationship work.
    I watched a movie that ended with a sentence, which said that what really matters is to be able to let go. Arguments shouldn't be a match with a winner and a loser, but an occasion to confront each other. So trying to prevail is useless because it makes the argument unsolvable. being able to listen and to let go is what makes it work! It's difficult, we all know that, but with some effort and training I believe it can become possible!

    Fran :wave:
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