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Online relationships and meeting in real life

AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
in Sex & Relationships
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Hey everyone,

What do you if you have an amazing relationship with someone online, but it doesn't translate when you meet in real life?

- Aife
Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Owl Whisperer Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    I'd do a 180.....
  • RayofhopeRayofhope Posts: 152 Helping Hand


    I think this is a great topic to talk about currently as more people are now using the internet to make friends and have relationships with it being so accessible. I think that depending on how bad it was when you actually met up with the other individual you could still be friends online, otherwise you might just decide you don't want to carry on any sort of friendship and for every case individually its ok to do what you want to do.
    Life doesn’t require we be the best, only that we try our best
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 151 Helping Hand
    Hi!

    ​Just as @Rayofhope said, I think this is a very topical subject that ultimately depends on how severe the situation is in person.
    If it seems appropriate, I would discuss with the other party how you feel, and from there decide if you would still like to keep in touch and be friends online (although I'd also consider that the online relationship mightn't be the same as it was before, at least initially). Otherwise, if you feel really uncomfortable or at risk in any way in person, I wouldn't hesitate to escape the situation as best and quickly as I can, and remove any form of contact online. If it's necessary, I'd also consult someone I trust and able to support me, and/or report the person online.

    -peachybuns
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Such a shame if this happens, but it can happen so easily! Sometimes the way we communicate online is different to real life, and sometimes I think you do need to spend real time together to get to know each other. An example... one of my bug bears with an ex is that he was ALWAYS always always late, to everything! May not have known that until I started meeting up with him!

    I watched a doc on Netflix I think it was called Life 2.0? That showed a couple who met on a virtual reality game and fell in love but when they saw each other face to face it just didn't work.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Owl Whisperer Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    Before making any decision to meet people, they need at least six months to get to know someone online. Personally I wouldn't want to meet anyone because being only sisteen there is great risk. If it were to happen, then I would ask Jules or my aunty for advice so if there was to be a meet up, they would accompany me to be on the safe side. Personally I feel no teenager below age eighteen should meet anyone they know online, no matter how appealing they may be, female or male. Since I already have trusted real life friends, honestly there is no way I would be interested.
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,103 Boards Champion
    People online tend to show a slightly altered version of themselves, because you can only see what they share and show. If things don't go well in real life, then it's disappointing of course, but the chance of that exists whether you meet someone in real life or online! <3
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1 Just got here
    I was doing some free online dating in my life. In the best case I got married, in the second best case we stayed friends. If it does not translate in real life usually even just a friendship would be too much.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Noob Posts: 6 Confirmed not a robot
    I would expect some difference as so many people alter there pictures these days. But yes if they were completely different from the picture online id do a 180 straight out of there, I wouldn't even feel rude
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 90 Budding Regular
    I would walk away in this kind of situation too, but if you've had a really good relationship with that person online it can be quite hard to let go and can feel almost as bad as a brake up, especially if they turn out to be completely different from the person you thought you'd got to know! I think it's important to recognise that and give yourself time to grieve the loss of that relationship you had with them before, like you would for any in-person relationship. 
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