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A compulsion?
FeatheredDreams
Posts: 91 Budding Regular
So i'm supposed to record every obsession/compulsion i have to help during therapy for my ocd and i'm wondering if/how to record this:
Today was..Wrong, not right, off routine, i got the bus to college (which i never do), the tv in my room wasn't turned on until 1am (because i turned it on to retain some semblance of routine- usually it comes on and 9 and goes off whenever i sleep), i ate dinner several hours earlier than usual, even my morning routine was different and...going off routine like that is bad, it feels wrong, like something bad is going to happen. And now it's 1am and im sitting here thinking..someones going to break into my house, a pretty common obsession of mine and the anxiety is pretty strong and i can feel my heart beating and i kinda wanna cry but i'm not going to sleep just incase it happens even if the chance is very very low because i'm the only one awake to stop something like that and i'm not going to let harm come to me and my family, if i sleep someone could break in and no one would be there to do anything about it, i have to stay awake to protect me & my family...I'm not going to sleep. So my question is; is that a compulsion? I think the definition i have for that is a behaviour done to neutralise/reduce the anxiety obsessions produce in the short term (short term in this case is a day, because of course, like most nights, i'm gonna think about this tommorow too...). I think that counts?
Today was..Wrong, not right, off routine, i got the bus to college (which i never do), the tv in my room wasn't turned on until 1am (because i turned it on to retain some semblance of routine- usually it comes on and 9 and goes off whenever i sleep), i ate dinner several hours earlier than usual, even my morning routine was different and...going off routine like that is bad, it feels wrong, like something bad is going to happen. And now it's 1am and im sitting here thinking..someones going to break into my house, a pretty common obsession of mine and the anxiety is pretty strong and i can feel my heart beating and i kinda wanna cry but i'm not going to sleep just incase it happens even if the chance is very very low because i'm the only one awake to stop something like that and i'm not going to let harm come to me and my family, if i sleep someone could break in and no one would be there to do anything about it, i have to stay awake to protect me & my family...I'm not going to sleep. So my question is; is that a compulsion? I think the definition i have for that is a behaviour done to neutralise/reduce the anxiety obsessions produce in the short term (short term in this case is a day, because of course, like most nights, i'm gonna think about this tommorow too...). I think that counts?
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