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Just a question about consent
Siena
Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
I just want to know if this is ok. Without being graphic or sounding bitchy
I cant help myself, and I want to see him suffer. I know it may make me bitchy or making the situation harder for me to report but i really couldn't help it seeing his life perfect. Ah that make me sound so horrible
To the point. -His friend started speaking to me again. Before he stuck up for me and understood. They are back friends now I had no idea because they stayed on at school.
Lengthy discussion. And he didn't rape me because I wasn't on the street and wasn't a stranger. "It's nott his fault if he's a teenager with strong sexual charge". Um either he is just as bad as him and everyone has completely lost their mind or is right.
Basically he told them. I enjoyed It and would see i would orgasm. He took that as consent? Nothing tramuatic or bad happened like seeing death infront of my eyes and complete opposite just pleasure. He was trying to make me happy but i was just to frigid to see it. He saw that as nothing bad. He then craved the control. I know the rest is just horrible which they dont know but maybe I made him crave that control by being frigid and showing I enjoy it. And couldn't help himself. Cause im easly tooken advantage of brcause im a shy person.
Why am I traumatised by something that i enjoed. Why is that even abuse. Yet i hated every second of it.
And just want to say im mentally in better place.:) probably short lived. But i just feel really pathetic right now and How i feel is not even valid or has any justification.
Sorry
I cant help myself, and I want to see him suffer. I know it may make me bitchy or making the situation harder for me to report but i really couldn't help it seeing his life perfect. Ah that make me sound so horrible
To the point. -His friend started speaking to me again. Before he stuck up for me and understood. They are back friends now I had no idea because they stayed on at school.
Lengthy discussion. And he didn't rape me because I wasn't on the street and wasn't a stranger. "It's nott his fault if he's a teenager with strong sexual charge". Um either he is just as bad as him and everyone has completely lost their mind or is right.
Basically he told them. I enjoyed It and would see i would orgasm. He took that as consent? Nothing tramuatic or bad happened like seeing death infront of my eyes and complete opposite just pleasure. He was trying to make me happy but i was just to frigid to see it. He saw that as nothing bad. He then craved the control. I know the rest is just horrible which they dont know but maybe I made him crave that control by being frigid and showing I enjoy it. And couldn't help himself. Cause im easly tooken advantage of brcause im a shy person.
Why am I traumatised by something that i enjoed. Why is that even abuse. Yet i hated every second of it.
And just want to say im mentally in better place.:) probably short lived. But i just feel really pathetic right now and How i feel is not even valid or has any justification.
Sorry
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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Comments
What this guy did to you, and how he invalidates it afterwards is horrific and you deserve justice.
Rape can happen to anyone. Men, women, adults, children etc. It doesn't matter where you are, who you are, whether you are in a relationship or not, know the person or not, anytime there is sex without consent, it's rape. Not only that but it doesn't matter how strong sexual urges can be, no-one is forced to act on them. They can take control and either ignore them, or ask for consent. Having sexual urges doesn't justify rape at all.
It's natural to find it physically enjoyable, even orgasm during rape. But even if that does happen, it doesn't mean that you consented or that it's not rape because you enjoyed it or had an orgasm. It's still rape. He wasn't trying to make you happy. Rape is only in the rapists interests for sexual gratification, not yours. You did not do anything to cause the rape at all, regardless of what he might say.
It's traumatic because you didn't have control. It's confusing because it was rape but you may have physically enjoyed it, but you can't control how your body reacts. I'm sorry for what you went through.
You aren't pathetic but I understand how difficult it must be for you. All your feelings are valid and justified.
He was in the wrong, not you. You didn't cause it.
Rape is more about power, control and inflicting suffering than it is about sex.
It's clear from what you said that he raped you. His age is only relevant in so much as that his sentence, if he's convicted, will be shorter.
Only 1 in 10 rapes are done by strangers.
This friend of his is siding with him - and hence is against you. For that reason, it's best to avoid both of them.
I continue to encourage you to report all of the crimes that he committed against you. The police are better at dealing with these things now than they used to be. You can ask to be interviewed by a female officer, if you'd prefer that. You may find it easier to write the details down first. You may be able to get a social worker, advocate etc. to go with you to the police station to make the report.
I just wanted his friends to hate him again when I found out they became back friends. So had to bring jt back up and maybe it would be edvinece if he personally confesses to it over text.
Thank you. I thought it still made it wrong and not consetional. But when he says things like he did it to make me happy. That really gets in my head and especially when someone's agreeing with him. And because there's no proof he didn't actually have good intention. But i suppose it probably was for himself.
I did look on the internet about sexual pleasure during rape and does still make it rape.
Thank you:)
If he has admitted it in texts, keep them and show them to the police as evidence.
He only cares about himself. His claims that he did anything for your benefit or that he didn't do anything wrong are commonly used methods of psychological manipulation - don't fall for his lies.
Yes, even if you had an orgasm, it doesn't change the fact that he raped you.