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Boyfriend drama

Past UserPast User Posts: 976 Part of The Mix Family
in Sex & Relationships
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Deactivated Posts: 98 Budding Regular
    Hey Evie,

    That sounds very suffocating and overwhelming. Great job to come here and talk about it :) While easier said than done, it sounds like you both might benefit from establishing some boundaries. It's easy to get really reliant on and intertwined in the life of your significant other, especially if the relationship is relatively new. If you'd like for the relationship to continue, maybe having a conversation with him about how negatively his argumentativeness and anger are affecting you would be helpful. It's not really acceptable for him to be verbally abusing you, so that's something to talk about if you feel safe to do so.
    Maybe it could help to write him a letter about how you're feeling so you can express how you're feeling without him interrupting.

    How are you getting on now?

    - Mica
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 976 Part of The Mix Family
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you were to write a letter, he may take it in and respond in a better way.

    On the other hand - if he is aggressive and abusive, do you really want to stay in a relationship with him? You deserve better than that.
  • MaisyMaisy Deactivated Posts: 701 Part of The Mix Family
    I agree with Purple_roo. Writing a letter is a good alternative, as is emailing, texting etc. Anything that helps to explain how you feel.

    ​If his behaviour of being clingy, verbally abusive and not understanding is becoming a regular thing, it may be worth looking into couple's counselling or contacting Relate for help. Otherwise, if your boyfriend doesn't see that his behaviour is problematic or doesn't want to change the situation, then it's worth re-evaluating the relationship and asking yourself whether it's worth staying with him.
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  • Past UserPast User Posts: 976 Part of The Mix Family
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Everything that you say has the red flags of your boyfriend being emotionally abusive. This is unacceptable behaviour from him and it could escalate.

    Can you give us an idea of why you're staying with him?
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 976 Part of The Mix Family
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  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Posts: 292 The Mix Regular
    Hey evie_rose

    As some of the other members say this does sound a little concerning especially if it is making you uncomfortable and you say that he is aggressive. Have you tried speaking to your friends or family members and see what their take is on this? If you feel uncomfortable writing on the thread you are welcome to PM any of us moderators and we can try to guide you to find help or the next steps to take. It is important that you feel you are safe and that you're happy. As the other comments mentioned, you could e-mail or write a letter stating how you feel, however if you feel under danger to do this, then it is best to perhaps find alternative solutions. It could be good to consider if ending the relationship would overall make you happier and then work from there if that is something you're comfortable with.

    Hope to hear from you soon,

    Drea:heart:
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