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Mixed age relationships

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
At 18 years old, I lost my virginity to, and began a relationship with a 28 year old.

Now, that statement for a lot of people probably sounds either shocking, or terrible. But it wasn't. I was SO ready to lose my virginity when I met him, and I wouldn't change it for the world. He was understanding, it felt good, I didn't bleed or feel much pain, I didn't instantly regret it - any of the horror stories you hear about your first time... I experienced none of them.

In January, I turned 20, and just the other day, he turned 30. Some people still might be shocked by our 10 year age gap, but all I want is for people to understand some things - I am a mature, independent woman who has been through things in life that have made me wise beyond my years. He doesn't fetishize my age, I am treated as an intellectual equal - our age has NEVER been that important.

When I first told my dad that I was seeing someone 10 years older, I knew he wouldn't mind - because he himself, was 9 years younger than my Mum.

So I guess my question here is, are any of you in mixed age relationships? Have you faced any problems because of this?

DISCLAIMER: I am talking about LEGAL relationships. I do not advocate for illegal relationships. If you or anyone you know is in an illegal relationship, please get in contact with the relevant authorities.


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    MaisyMaisy Moderator Posts: 672 Incredible Poster
    Never been in a mixed age relationship but there was 18 years between my mum and dad!

    ​I think one of the most common problems you may come across in age gaps is that others may think you are in two different stages of life with a conflict of interest e.g. being social and travelling vs focussing on a career vs wanting to start a family. With my mum and dad, there were no issues, but since my dad was older, he got ill and my mum became his carer. Other people may judge in this type of way too and try to make the age gap seem negative for the future of the relationship.

    Personally, I think that as long as it's legal and healthy (as opposed to abusive or dysfunctional) then there's nothing wrong with age gaps. I do understand that you may face some stigma from other people that don't understand since you are younger, possibly for the above reasons, but what they think doesn't matter. You sound like a very mature and independent young woman, and your relationship sounds happy and healthy. I'm sure others will come around when they realise this, and if not you don't need that negativity in your life :)
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