Do you really need a height difference to be happy?

Ed_

It seems like there is a constant pursuit in the research world to find out what makes us happy in relationships. The latest findings tell us that couples with a height difference are more likely to be happy...well...it lasts for the first 18 years of the relationship before fading!

This got me thinking :chin: ... I can't recall a time I have entered a relationship based on a person's height, and their height alone wouldn't have any bearing on my happiness :no: ...so what is it about a positive relationship that makes us feel happy? Should this be something we measure by height or is it better to do this in words, feelings and actions...let us know below :yes:

Former Member

I would never base liking someone solely off their height, but I'm 5'5" and I would preferably like to be able to wear heels without being taller than whoever I'm with...

Former Member

I'm a guy and don't particularly care. I've been with girls who could not reach my chin and I've been with girls who were taller than me (I'm 5'10"). Height is one of my very low priority things.

Former Member

Height only becomes significant for me when all the foundations are good. I find shorter people nicer to hug/cuddle, but that's about it. In the grand scheme of things it isn't an issue (certainly no effect on happiness).

Former Member

I personally like being the taller person, but that's just because I'm generally tall anyway, but I wouldn't say I specifically go out of my way to find someone shorter than me. Plus H feels safer when I cuddle her because I'm taller and she sees it as more protective.

Former Member

I'm taller than sam but not by much. I wouldn't say I'm with her for our height difference. She could be 5ft and I'd still like her.

Former Member

Doesn't feel like it's a big issue for me. Taller by maybe an inch than my current partner and don't notice any issues!

Ed_

Thanks everyone for your views, it's really interesting that pretty much everyone feels that height is like an added bonus but isn't really something that makes us happy in itself...would definitely be interested to hear what people feel are the qualities that do make us happy... @plugitin[/USER] [USER="18076"]StrubbleS[/USER] [USER="95653"]Enchanted

@Hiccup That's interesting you say she feels safer because you are taller...does part of how she feels about you as a person contribute towards her feelings of safety. I get from a practical side of things, being taller may have an advantage in a dangerous situation, but to me it sounds like there is more to it in this situation!

@Petrichor can you tell us a bit more about what foundations you need for things to be good?

@Past User Definitely agree with you on this, it's far more about the person themselves rather than a measurement...what are the things that you value in H that make you happy?

Former Member

I think I prefer being with someone taller, but it's definitely not something I put any weight on...

My boyfriend is 5ft 9", and he often has anxieties about it. He wishes he were a bit taller, which is interesting. I'm 5ft 6" (I think), so a little shorter.

The protective point is a fair one - I think I like being shorter to feel like that too, which is kinda bad?! I don't want my boyfriend for protective reasons. Maybe it's an instinctive thing - to want to feel protected by a partner, whatever gender - but it's going against all my feminist bones!

Former Member

Interestingly my colleagues were talking about just this question at work today. One lass was saying her fiancé doesn't let her wear heels because she would then be taller than him.

I wonder if it feels for him like his 'male-ness' is under threat?

Former Member

I think that some guys like shorter girls because they feel they can protect them - and if they are taller - perhaps this comes under threat, as Kate was saying above. They may feel they cant act like the 'big man' if the girl they are dating is technically bigger than me.

Masculinity and pride is probably more whats going on here - was chatting to my fella about this actually and male pride and the concept of 'masculinity' is an interesting one - so many guys are governed by it - be interesting to see what the lads here think about that!

Former Member

@Edward8 Just the cliché stuff like trust, being able to relax with them, mutual respect, etc etc.

@Tamsinjo It's an interesting thing for me to think about, to be honest. I like to think I'm not really governed by it all that much, but that could well be because I don't really surround myself with guys or dip in to any masculine environments. My social circle tends to be largely female as well so that could have something to do with it. But to be honest you could say the reverse might be true as well; that having more female company could make you more determined to appear masculine. All I can say is that I don't usually feel particularly masculine or desire to be so!

Edit: When I think about this more in the concept of height differences I can see some truth in it, even for me!

Former Member

I'd rather not date someone too tall. It hurts my neck having to look up to someone all the time!

Ed_

Some interesting thoughts around whether masculinity plays a part in this, I think there is definitely some truth around how society creates this sense of what a man 'should' be and it seems to be centred around the protector/hunter-gatherer image. I think what you say @Petrichor about trust and mutual respect etc is a really good point, and these are values that are independent of height