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Update: Mental Health and University

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  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Doctors booked for Wednesday
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    apandav wrote: »
    Doctors booked for Wednesday

    Well done you :) it sounds like a really difficult few days for you but from what you have said here it sounds like you're doing all the right things and you've made some really positive steps to move forward and look after yourself.

    You've been reaching out to helplines, you have made a doctor's appointment and also an appointment with your PDA. Transitioning to university life isn't easy at the best of times - doing it when you suffer from anxiety is even more of a challenge but you're probably doing better than you think.

    Skipping a day for mental health reasons is just as valid as if you had the flu :yes:

    Do you have a template to work from for the essay plan or do you have to write your own? You might be able to find some posts on essay plans on the student room forum - worth a look: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/ It's a busy forum so if you post for some advice on how to write an essay plan you should get some replies fairly quickly too :)

  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Thanks Jo.

    I managed to get my essay plan done. Not sure if it's any good but I tried my best! I will remember the student room for the future.

    With regards to me, I'm still not great but things aren't as bad as the weekend.

    I'm meeting my PDA today. I'm very nervous, I've decided I need to be honest (but obviously I'm not going to go into too much detail). I plan to say I was struggling before uni eg. Having CBT, antidepressants etc. And how my ability to study and concentrate is affected. Ask him for any advice. But obviously I'm not going to go into too much detail about how I feel, just say enough to give him an overview and say how it is affecting my uni work. I'll also say I'm trying to work on things with student counselling.

    As I mentioned earlier, I emailed my counsellor at the weekend out of desperation. I got a really nice voicemail message from her yesterday. Saying how she wants to reach out to me and is thinking of me etc. She gave me the option of an earlier appointment and said although she doesn't have much time, she can try to speak to me on the phone if I really need it. I also signed up to this mindfulness orientation course at uni - which she encouraged me to do so.

    Big day tomorrow too, with go appointment. I need to write things down as I know i will not say (or say as much) as I want if I don't. As in the past I regret not saying stuff and asking more questions.
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Debates in my head- either I just get on with it or there's no point in living
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Feeling s******l
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    So low :( , suicidal thoughts are scary! It's getting really deep........
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    My life right now consists of constantly phoning helplines......... :( it's not what I want, I just have no other options. Seriously don't know what I'm going to do!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey apandav sorry to hear you are feeling this way, are you getting through to any of the helplines? Are they helping at all?

    - Ash.
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Thanks Ash.

    Yeah phoned a few this morning, was helpful but still struggle.

    Feel scared, sitting in GP surgery - appointment soon :(
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    OMFG could this get any worse- someone from my school (in my year, were in some my classes) WORKS AT THE DOCTORS SURGERY AS A RECEPTIONIST- just made awkward eye contact. I feel so embarrassed as I'm sitting all nervous HELP!!!!
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Update: My GP upped my dose to 30mg of Citalopram. Felt a bit reluctant but I'll give it a try! She also for some reason wrote me a fit note when I was looking for a medical certificate.

    I finally managed to get my chemistry homework done so feel a bit relieved. Got another one of these weekend tests for practical, barley studied- it's not a lot only a few pages based on last week- and 12 multiple choice questions. But I'm feeling very anxious and worried about it :(
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Can somebody please tell me what 'anxiety states' means? I'm trying to look it up online but I'm still not sure.

    Feeling frustrated and annoyed I phoned Anxiety Uk helpline, hoping they could give me a direct answer. I just felt like they were more interested in selling me their therapies instead :( I phoned once a while ago and they were helpful, I just felt it was so - we care about you, now buy our therapies :(
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Feeling very low and hopeless for the future this morning. Went to support circle on here last night and a 'happiness journal' was suggested to me. I'm going to give it a shot, despite how I feel:

    Yesterday: I enjoyed getting cuddles from my 2 doggies :) they were jumping up all over me for attention when I got home. I spent some time to give them a clap, cuddles and tell them 'I love them'. I know they are only animals, and although they don't understand, they cheer me up by just being their 'loveable selves'.
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    My positive for Wednesday was - taking lots of Autumn photos, when I was reminded of the Autumn photo thread. I just got completely absorbed in it :)
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    My positive so far for today is - thinking about positive things when starting a happiness journal. Was feeling sad, but amazingly this has cheered me up! :)
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Made a fool of myself :( was alone at bus stop and pacing (I do that sometimes when I'm nervous) . Didn't realise a women was there , then I put my hand out for the wrong bus (as that service is normally single decker but was double today, and mine, the only other one is a double). Then I jumped in front of her with my pre- paid ticket. How rude, I didn't mean it I was in my own world. Then as I walked on , I walked directly into a pole on the bus :(
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    So awkward...... I met my counsellor in the toilets, I knew she was there but pretended I was too busy washing my hands. It was only us, so she whispered see you shortly. Right this is so awkward!!!!
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    I feel drowsy, my muscles feel heavy and everything is a big effort........ think I'm adjusting to the increase in medication
  • plugitinplugitin Noob Posts: 2,197 The Mix Regular
    *hug* apandav, I hope the happiness journal is helping :)
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    I'm loosing it!!!!!!
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    In waiting room.... Got appointment to be assessed for a MH mentor
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Update: I'm meeting my mentor on Monday - nervous, hope they are nice :)

    It's postgrad and PhD students who they allocate as mentors (so they understand the demands of uni).

    If all goes well, I'll have a mentor. We can meet weekly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey apandav,

    It's great to hear that you might be getting some ongoing support at uni from a mentor :yes:

    How did you get on? :)
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    raich wrote: »
    Hey apandav,

    It's great to hear that you might be getting some ongoing support at uni from a mentor :yes:

    How did you get on? :)

    Went really well thanks :) she seems really nice, she's a PhD psychology student and has been mentoring for a while so is experienced. She was very understanding and didn't judge me.

    We are meeting on Friday in a coffee shop. Its good, as I know I have someone to talk to about things- everything is down to me, so we can chat about uni, make a study plan, talk about mental health, how I feel or anything really.
  • JamesJames Posts: 1,706 Community Manager
    Hey Apandav,

    Good to hear that it went well :) It sounds like a really productive meeting!
    Let us know how it goes on Friday
  • AuroraAurora Part of the furniture Posts: 11,720 An Original Mixlorian
    Hey Apandav,

    Its positive to see the 'positive journal' helped for a bit. - I once did a scrap book with a variety of emotions, and when I went through it honestly made my day, and it's all there, just the positive emotions opposed to the negative, which is also on here. Maybe consider doing that? Sounds like you're going through a really rough patch but it's great to see you reaching out for support around you, and taking on the support offered to you by Uni.

    The mentor sceme is something we also have in our Uni for first years, and being trained myself, I absolutely lovely the aspect of just talking about general stuff, uni, and so forth. But it's really about finding what works for you. Have you joined any socities yet in Uni? Sports? Creatives? Etc?

    Do keep us updated on how things are going Apandav :heart:

    Best wishes,
    WhispersOfTheHeart
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    James wrote: »
    Hey Apandav,

    Good to hear that it went well :) It sounds like a really productive meeting!
    Let us know how it goes on Friday

    Will do :)
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Hey Apandav,

    Its positive to see the 'positive journal' helped for a bit. - I once did a scrap book with a variety of emotions, and when I went through it honestly made my day, and it's all there, just the positive emotions opposed to the negative, which is also on here. Maybe consider doing that? Sounds like you're going through a really rough patch but it's great to see you reaching out for support around you, and taking on the support offered to you by Uni.

    The mentor sceme is something we also have in our Uni for first years, and being trained myself, I absolutely lovely the aspect of just talking about general stuff, uni, and so forth. But it's really about finding what works for you. Have you joined any socities yet in Uni? Sports? Creatives? Etc?

    Do keep us updated on how things are going Apandav :heart:

    Best wishes,
    WhispersOfTheHeart

    Hi WhispersOfTheHeart,

    Sounds like the scrapbook was a good distraction for you- I think I'll give it a try myself when I feel low.

    I do feel better knowing I have that extra bit of support. Yet, it feels a bit "strange" having someone there to help me (never been in that position really). Felt really embarrassed to admit my struggles, but I'm glad I did as she was supportive. I know I don't have to worry though, as they have to follow confidentiality with regards to my mental health struggles.

    No, I haven't joined any societies- I did consider it but it's a bit inconvenient with the finishing times and getting the bus home.

    I have joined a mindfulness orientation course though- it's 2 hours every 8 weeks, starting tomorrow(through my university). Hopefully it helps!
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Sigh :( - moods weird this morning, been feeling down, but cheered up briefly for like a very short time like 30mins. I was on my iPad on the bus, listening to music and playing a game. Now I just feel hit a little- I'm sitting in library trying to study, did a bit and now feel like giving up, screw this test on Friday :(

    Now I'm feeling sad about life, it feels like I have no life. All I have to get up and do every day is uni. Everything else feels pointless. Now I've gave up on this stupid chemistry stuff.

    It's weird, I feel like I've just been hit suddenly with sadness, I'm not exactly sure why....... But probably as I've been reminded of life.........life truly suck.

    Sorry, for the rant. Im just sitting in the library feeling lost.......
  • apandavapandav :) Posts: 2,072
    Don't like this divide in my uni friend group, they have split (long story, Lucy* said she wants to stay away from Emma* as she overheard Emma bitching). I never heard this bitching and I'm not getting involved but I want to be friends with everyone. Now it's awkward as during lectures I'll sit with one set and then another is like shouting hey Amanda. Thing is no one has confronted anyone but there is an awkward split. Friendships, one thing I felt was going right in life, is going wrong, makes me sad. Puts a downer on my mood and now I don't want to go to class.

    My best friend from school advises I pick one group and stick with them, but I don't want that. I like both groups for different reasons (at first we were one group but now there is a divide). Yesterday I chatted with one for a bit and left to chat to the other. I don't know what to do
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