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Mates

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi my best mate is under alot of pressure at the moment what with family problems,school stress and some other personal things that are occupying most of her thoughts at the moment but recently she has started to be wierd with me ignoring me ,not really talking to me or making the effort to talk to me i mean i feel like im just a convienience for her when she wants to talk .i mean i have tried to be here for her ive done the normal best mate stuff gave her a hug when she needed it ,been there when she needed to talk, tried to give advice when she needed it and yet im treated the worst out of any of her friends.Do i cobfront her about this or shall i just wait and see if shes back to normal once the pressure is uplifted a bit???plzzz tell me what you thimk i should do asi dont want to loose her as a friend ......constantly confused xxxxxx <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i've had similar things to this happen to me with quite a few of my friends and im sorry to say i aint friends with them anymore. some, we just drifted apart and others were just bitches.
    if u really wanna stay friends with her then maybe u should try giving her a bit of space, u never really know wots going thru a persons head. maybe she is having problems or worries that you dont know about. in time if she is a real friend she will realise how important u are to her and make an effort with you but if she isnt then you'll just have to accept it and make new friends. good friends are hard to come by and not every friend u make will be a good one. u just gotta keep going till u find one
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanx for the comments and advice shes told people that she just feels like a burden on us but shes not its really difficult to talk to her right no wbut i figure i will just leave things at the moment and see if things get any worse and if they do well maybe i will have to confront her and ask her why shes being so cold with me thanx again .......constantly confused xxxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I first read your message, it sounded like you felt you were being taken for granted. It may be true that this is what is happening, and it may even be because she is one of your best mates. Sometimes the people that we treat the worst are our best mates, simply because we think that they know us so well and will always be there no matter what. I personally believe that that's why we treat our siblings so badly, but most of the time, the sibling who just shouted at you will be the first to jump at anyone else who attacks you.

    It's a wierd phenomenon. Not right, mind you. You should probably have a chat with her and let her know how you're feeling, but try not to be too harsh, even though it's not easy for you either. She may just be acting this way because the thought hasn't crossed her mind that you'll ever NOT be a part of her life. If this is true, you should let her know that you won't stand to be treated like crap, but that you do care about her and will support her.

    Best of luck. Hope it works out.

    xx
    Nikki
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanx u speak alot of sense and i appreciate all your advice ....constantly confused xxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aww hun!! I suppose I should explain to everyone/anyone reading that I am the friend in question!!! I just found this and noticed it was by my best mate...
    Well I suppose I should point out that I knew it was bothering you, that I wasn't communicating as much as usual. Us two are really close, and I tell you everything. But this time it felt as if I was being a burden- I was constantly depressed, distracted... I just wanted to go on being in the group just in the background. I needed to get a hold of myself. I didn't need to talk it through with my mates as I was talking it through with someone else- my teacher- who acted as my counseller. I needed an adult's perspective. One of my main fears was a pretty adult problem, and I don't mean that my friends could not be good enough, I just mean that sometimes it felt better to let it out to someone then come back to normal (ish) life. Plus, with the adults point of view I don't have it like you do- I can't talk to my Mum. My parents are people that I could never go to about anything. I'm very cut off from them and always have been. Carter was different. He's someone I have respect for, my parents I respect very little. I trust him, I can talk to him without him judging me. And I value his advice.
    Don't feel like I didn't want you there, and I didn't mean to be cold. I just needed space. I was like it with everyone not just you- it just hit you harder as you are more used to me being so open. You're my best friend and I love you so much.
    Genie
    xxxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    did you two try spekaing in person?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well we never really got all this out- it wasn't necessary (sp?). When I returned to normal (sorry, normal for me) then it was all cleared- everyone seemed to be relieved I was back I think!! It's Ok between us now- she's moved across the road from my house and I live round there. And I'm back to spilling my guts out. I just wanted to make sure it was entirely sorted when I found this. I love her too much to lose her over something we never bothered to patch up!!
    Mwah!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As your friend is under a lot of stress at the moment she probably doesn't realise how she is being towards you.
    Just let her know that you are there for her and keep the friendship strong.
    If she still continues to be weird with you after a while, then confront her (with a soft approach) about it.
    <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just heard 'Constantly Confused' has her internet back after moving house.... so I thought I'd better put this back to the top so she can read!!!
    Mwah- love you babe!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanx babe u r my best mate and i love you lots too and i understand now thankyou to everyone who helped me with advice THANKS luv izzy *
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