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Insecure thread
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This thread is insecure 
No, really. I was chatting to a friend of mine a couple of days ago and the topic of sex came up, as it does. The first thing I ever learnt about this person is that they didn't do sex before marriage, but that's changed now. I know they were thinking about it for a while (they didn't just decide this to get laid), but it still got me thinking...
...am I the only one out there who doesn't believein having sex before marriage? :nervous:
No, really. I was chatting to a friend of mine a couple of days ago and the topic of sex came up, as it does. The first thing I ever learnt about this person is that they didn't do sex before marriage, but that's changed now. I know they were thinking about it for a while (they didn't just decide this to get laid), but it still got me thinking...
...am I the only one out there who doesn't believein having sex before marriage? :nervous:
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And my current boyfriend used to have the same beliefs, but... well, I persuaded him otherwise
It would depend how they lost their virginity, and how many times they'd done it, number of partners etc...
I wouldn't let her wear white at our wedding
Your views are slightly old fashioned but I think most people will respect what you think. Most people treat sex and love as seperate things so can't see the point in waiting. I don't know anybody who wants to wait until marriage.
Why wouldnt you let her wear white? Would you make her wear red like the devil or summat? Genuine question cos i dont know. I know white is seen as virginal, and why you think like that but not the alternative!
I think it'd be nice to wait till marriage, but as i see sex as something purely physical (unconnected with love), i dont see the point!
If you're worried that you won't find a girl to marry who is a virgin, maybe you're more likely to be successful, ie. find someone with the same (I'm assuming religious) beliefs as you if you go to a youth group/church group and meet people there?
It always used to be... I don't know why it isn't today, it just seems so much harder for some reason. Like, I'm the only one out these with these beliefs. The thing about sex being a mutual thing, means I realisticly need at least one other person toagree with me on this one.
These beliefes of mine are mainly personal, but strengthened by my religeon. You do bring up a good point though, it's just a case of me getting out there. You've brought the first smile to my face in this whole thread
But I'm still wondering if there is actually anybody else out there who believes the same.
BTW. Sorry for being so depressive in this thread. I'm not usually like this, honest. I'm gonna smile more in this thread
:rolleyes:
I'm a catholic and partly because of this but also because of other things I used to be really strict on no sex before marriage. I even made a pact with my best friend that we'd stay virgins until our wedding nights. But lately I've been more relaxed towards it. I lean more to the feeling that if I know I and my boyfriend have the potential to wed (in the distant future) I'd be willing to have sex with him outside of marriage. It's the 00s (??) and times have changed. Although if my boyfriend preferred to wait until we marry, I'd be only too happy to wait with him.
Mr_Wobble
...every now and again, you get to a point where you step back and wonder why you believe this. Why do you insist on abstinance when everyone around you doesn't - some even go out of their way to make sure they don't. It makes keeping such a belief very difficult.
I dont believe in it because marriage was invented to control women and I dont need a piece of paper to show my love for someone, its made up crap. Sorry Skateside, im not slating your beliefs, just being honest. If 2 people feel its right, then it should be right because they are ready and not when you sign a piece of paper.
Nowadays, people don't get married until much later, but they do have relationships before marriage. If these relationships are trusting, loving and fairly long-term, then I think there can't be anything wrong with the couple sleeping together. These kinds of relationships didn't exist back then, but I'm sure the idea was just to prevent people from having meaningless sex - so in my view, the Christian belief should follow more of a 'no sex out of a steady relationship' rule ...anyone agree?
I didn't go into what I thought before Skateside because you weren't really asking other people for that kind of advice - but what do you think of that view? Can you understand where I'm coming from?
EXCUSE ME!! you wouldnt LET HER wear white? let her? would your future wife not be equal to you and be able to make her own decisions? would you be telling her what to wear just at the wedding or all the time? will you let her choose the colour of her pants? with that attitude you wont find a wife not because you dont believe in sex before marriage!
on the sex before marriage thing, fair play to you!
Thank you
if i found 'mr. right', and we were engaged to be married (not just engaged for the hell of it as some people are) then i may just consider having sex with them before going down the aisle.
plus - i really do not want kids at the moment. no way, nuhuh, thanks but no thanks. condoms are - what - 70% reliable in the real world? i'm hopeless at remembering to take tablets so couldn't go on the pill, and i would not, for moral reasons, consider taking the morning-after pill or having an abortion.
until i'm in a relationship that i think is stable enough for us to have a good chance of sticking together in the case of an unplanned pregnancy, i dont want to have sex.
I don't think I ever want to get married because if you love somebody enough you don't have to have a big ceramony (sp?) to prove it, as long as you both know how you feel thats all that matters. If it feels right to sleep with somebody then why wait ?
As for the wearing white thing.....i think its silly, i do want to wear white at my wedding but i wont wear ALL white, i'll have black bits on it too.
i know they're the quoted values from the companies themselves, but i'm sure there was a survey type thing done which revealed the true statistics.
marriage is not the be-all and end-all in life! yes we all want to find the perfect partner but i think we need to experience people and relationships before we can find that person. when your with someone and can feel such chemistry between both of you sex is a natural progression, its just instinct. it doesnt make us bad people. i think its a totally backward point of view that you would consider someone 'impure'. i don't get why people consider virginity such a huge deal, i mean it is when you first lose it (and i certainly don't do one night stands etc) but argh i cant explain it too well because i don't want to offend with my unreligious views.
snfu, you said "i'm not good looking, i'm overweight and generally 'not desirable' to those looking for one-night stands or relationships based on sex"
i wonder if you thought that you were appealing to men on a physical level your view would change slightly?
Which is fine if you know you have no STIs and trust your partner.