Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

What's the big deal with age gaps?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Why do people get so hung up with age gaps in relationships. I'm not even talking about huge gaps here! It's generally more accpeted when you're with someone older but even then people still get worked up about it. What's everyone's opinons here. I'm a 17 year old female by the way.
«1

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont have a problem with it but i bet you if someone said to you that a 20 year ol was going out with a 80 year old you would g "eewwwww" it happens!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally I really don't have a problem with it. My boyfriend is three years younger than me(he's 18) and you should see the looks I get sometimes but with really huge age gaps ie a twenty year old with a fifty year old, it makes me wonder as to what they would even have in common!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't have a problem with it either, loads of my mates do though. Obviously extremes are just strange, I really don't understand what couples with large age gaps see in eachother, but just two years and people already start to say things, though it seems alright if the guys the older one.... hmmmmmm seems people say less as you both get older though. I'm rambling but hopefully you see what I'm getting at!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    personally i think anything up to about 10 years is a reasonable age gap but hey...whateva floats your boat really. some people can be like, mega mature and stuff so an age gap doesnt make any difference and you wouldnt notice it at all.
    The Silly String
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont think age gaps are a problem in gerneral. Although there are certain circumstances ie: A 20 yr old and a12 yr old, or, a 70 yr old and a 40 yr old, for obvious reasons that i dont think i need to say.

    But within reason, i dont see why there should be a problem with it at all :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When two people just click then the age gap seems unimportant ... but also the gaps can be interestinf - like when you're talking about your childhood you have different experiences to share.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **shrugs**
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i pulled a 29 year old and when people found out they didnt really want to talk to me!! its just one of those silly things in life and people cant see through their own ignorance! (you all know what i mean)!!!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im 17 by the way
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't see anything wrong with age gaps when both people are above a certain age. I think an 18 year old going out with a 14 or 15 year old is wrong, because they can't possibly have anything in common.

    My best friend is 20 and has a boyfriend who is 25. They've been together for 2 years now. She was still in sixth form and he worked full time, she got some stick for it but they're happy.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally, I don't think I'd have much in common with someone more than a couple of years older or younger than me, but if other people do have successful relationships with larger age gaps, then fair enough. To each his (or her) own!

    The only point at which I draw the line is under 16s having relationships with anyone much older - maybe some young teenagers are more mature than others, but at the end of the day I think all of them are too impressionable and you do wonder what the older partner is after.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by perfect***day
    The only point at which I draw the line is under 16s having relationships with anyone much older - maybe some young teenagers are more mature than others, but at the end of the day I think all of them are too impressionable and you do wonder what the older partner is after.

    I knew a couple of 11/12 year olds who went out with a couple of 16 year olds. At least one of the couples slept together. :rolleyes:

    I think age differences matter much less when you are older. The children I mentioned above had an age difference of 4/5 years between them and their boyfriends, yet an age difference of 5 years between a 27 and a 33 year old wouldn't shock anyone. I think it's much more to do with maturity than anything else, and what older partners want from the relationshop (anything from good sex to settling down and having a family). If both partners want the same thing, there shouldn't be any problem with age differences.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Age gaps matter when the two people are at emotionally different stages of their lives. However in these cases the relationships don't tend to last anyway, so in the end it doesn't matter. Yaay.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't like the idea of a 21 year old lad going out with a 17 year old girl.

    Especially when it's my fucking girlfriend he's nicked :mad:

    Experience makes me bitter.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bri-namite
    I don't like the idea of a 21 year old lad going out with a 17 year old girl.

    Especially when it's my fucking girlfriend he's nicked :mad:

    Experience makes me bitter.

    don't worry, he'll treat her like crap and she'll regret it and realise your great..

    by that time you will be able to not give a fuck about her... well you know what i mean.
    TRUST!

    oh yeah back to topic, age gaps that i don't like is 15 year olds with anyone above that. From many a time research, they don't know how to make it work and break hearts. thats why i ain't gonna go far from my age at all.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by molo

    by that time you will be able to not give a fuck about her... well you know what i mean.

    Correct :p

    Which is why it happened almost 2 years ago, and now I don't give a fuck about her.

    I never really agreed with age gaps like that even before that :eek2:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont have a problem with it but its like if u have a 12 year old going out with a 20 year old then thats just wrong but then if u have a 22 year old going out with a 30 year old then its fine, even though theres still 8 years between them.

    oh all the numbers! :eek: never any good at maths!!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by ±Lover±
    I dont think there is anything wrong with this because my sister is 14 and he boyfriend of 6 months is 18,

    personally i think that's wrong.

    a 14 year old and an 18 year old are at very different stages in their emotional development.

    you can say age doesn't matter til you're blue in the face, but if you're under 18 age matters. a lot.

    if you're over 18 get with whoever you want, but before then you're still a kid and should stick to going out with other kids.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by ±Lover±
    I'm also 17 and i pulled a 32 year old and nobody really minded and nither did i and just forgot about it.



    I dont think there is anything wrong with this because my sister is 14 and he boyfriend of 6 months is 18

    I think this is wrong too,thats just not right, shes still a child and developing whereas hes nearly finished his development.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by ±Lover±
    I dont think there is anything wrong with this because my sister is 14 and he boyfriend of 6 months is 18, hes older than my boyfriend
    Why does an adult want to go out with a child? Ewww. :eek2:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with what other people saying about teens and adults being wrong but otherwise its ok within reason, and 14 and 18? i dont get it?surely shed have to be in by 9:00? theyd have nothing to talk about really?and i hope there not doing anything sexual together, this is what i have a problem with!Not so much the age gap but young adults pressuring kids into sex because its the kool thing to do!Grrr im rambling
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by sxy bunny grl
    I agree with what other people saying about teens and adults being wrong but otherwise its ok within reason, and 14 and 18? i dont get it?surely shed have to be in by 9:00? theyd have nothing to talk about really?and i hope there not doing anything sexual together, this is what i have a problem with!Not so much the age gap but young adults pressuring kids into sex because its the kool thing to do!Grrr im rambling
    Agreed! Does he driver her to school and pick her up? (although I hope he has a job or studies tbh!)
    They can't go to any pubs or out clubbing because she is far too young. If she has responsible parents surely they ask her to be home by 9.30pm at the latest? How can you maintain that kind of relationship? I mean, some 14 year olds haven't even developed fully? What is there to find sexually attractive in a 14 year old child when you're a fully grown adult?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok so lets see what people think. Do you think it's more acceptable for say a 15 yr old guy to go out with a 18 yr old girl, or a 15 yr old girl to go out with a 18 yr old guy?

    So far people have used the guy as the older one of the two in their examples, so I'm just curious.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by LittleMissColey
    Ok so lets see what people think. Do you think it's more acceptable for say a 15 yr old guy to go out with a 18 yr old girl, or a 15 yr old girl to go out with a 18 yr old guy?

    So far people have used the guy as the older one of the two in their examples, so I'm just curious.

    They're equally wrong imho.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by LittleMissColey
    Ok so lets see what people think. Do you think it's more acceptable for say a 15 yr old guy to go out with a 18 yr old girl, or a 15 yr old girl to go out with a 18 yr old guy?

    So far people have used the guy as the older one of the two in their examples, so I'm just curious.
    We use the bloke as an example because women in general are less likely, aged 18, to want a child as a partner.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by legal junkie
    personally i think that's wrong.

    a 14 year old and an 18 year old are at very different stages in their emotional development.

    you can say age doesn't matter til you're blue in the face, but if you're under 18 age matters. a lot.


    Dont ppl say that girls mature 2 years ahead of guys so really its like 18 & 16? or aint i makin any sense?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by MoonWalkingsFun
    Dont ppl say that girls mature 2 years ahead of guys so really its like 18 & 16? or aint i makin any sense?
    :lol:
    It does not matter what their mental age is, in all honesty, girls are more mature at 16 than blokes will be when they're 25, but only in some respects.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It does not matter what their mental age is, in all honesty, girls are more mature at 16 than blokes will be when they're 25, but only in some respects.


    Blah, Thats what joo believe :p


    End of the day, if ur with someone u like then ur with someone u like... and if you like them it doesnt matter what age. U aint gotta be with people for anyone else but yourself.

    It does have more of an effect when your younger but it doesnt mean the effect is totally negative. If u go thru life not experiencing and experimenting when your young you wind up knowing about as much as a taxi driver.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by MoonWalkingsFun
    Blah, Thats what joo believe :p


    End of the day, if ur with someone u like then ur with someone u like... and if you like them it doesnt matter what age. U aint gotta be with people for anyone else but yourself.

    It does have more of an effect when your younger but it doesnt mean the effect is totally negative. If u go thru life not experiencing and experimenting when your young you wind up knowing about as much as a taxi driver.

    yes i used to believe age didn't matter as it was drilled into me by my ex girlfriend whose 15 when i'm 17..oooh ooh i'm 18 now!
    but anyway. her maturity was never helping things and thats why she is an ex

    however much we all want to believe the main factor is you like eachother, the other factors such as maturity make a massive impact.

    i've seen this arguement so many times on this site. 14/15/16 maybe even 17 year olds should stick to own ages really for best effects!

    obviously its not a rule and there will be exceptions, its jus it is unfourtuantly true.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was just gona meet someone younger than me tomorrow as well... now it feels weird :lol:
Sign In or Register to comment.