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And kaffrin - im not dismissing your aniety in anyway - but some people react differently in different situations...
You're really focused on that one off spend arent you? Does because she's on benefits mean she has to live her life in a certain stereotypical way? Mean she's not allowed to enjoy herself? I'm sorry but that just seems pathetic to me.
We're ignoring it because its bullshit. If it was true she would be on incapacity benefit as kermit said, and Ilora has already given us the real reason she wont work for a supermarket;
Enough said on my part, dont want to be part of the bitch fest.
Personally, I cannot think of any image that I would want on my body for the rest of my life. I´m willing to wager that a large proportion of those who get them regret them or want them changed within say, 2 years. At least with piercings, you can leave them out and they´ll disappear within a month or so.
As I said, I´ve never seen someone with a tatoo that made me think, I´d like one of those. No offence to people that have them, it´s your body and your choice but don´t expect me to fancy you with it. For me, it´s a real turn off.
See the problem with S.A.D is that you're in a viscious circle. You go to pot everytime you enter a social situation, and you freak out. But, you need to seek help. But seeking help makes you go to pot and freak out, which in turn makes you avoid the situation and your problem continues.
....I'm still trying to pluck up the courage to speak to my GP about it all. I've got to see him for an ADD referal :nervous: ... so I might as well kill 2 birds with one stone. It'll come to me eventually... when I'm ready.
And to Kaffrin... Yes, I go shopping, yes I go to gigs. But I never go alone. I always make sure I have someone with me, supporting me. When I'm with someone, I cope better and I do more. Alone, and I'm too anxious to move.
Ilora x
it's nowt to do with reacting. there have been times in the past few years where i had to be medicated to even leave the house. my doc has offered to sign me off work countless times, i just haven't done it.
i refuse to use it as an excuse. because it isn't a good enough excuse. "sorry, can't come into work today, i'm scared". life is scary. get used to it.
well the medication isnt to help the actual mental problem, it just subsides the panic attack symptoms to make them more bareable. I also had councelling for it, but i could have done with speaking to a gp or something...
So you had to sign off for your holiday in Greece then? Oldest trick in the book to get you out of Jobclub / New Deal...sign off then sign back on 2 weeks later to start a fresh claim
You remind me of my ex and I really hope you don't turn out like him, but your story sounds a bit familiar to me.
He is now 29 years old and all his work experience consists of is 3 weeks on a YTS scheme and a 10 year stint of signing on and off to avoid Jobclub / New deal, blagging crisis loans as and when he needed more cash. He wanted to be a DJ / Sound engineer. He used to write his Jobseekers Agreement out and include things like "I refuse to work in a factory, I refuse to handle food" which basically prevented the Jobcentre from cutting his dole and sending him down the cheese/chicken factory. He would be really specific with the type of job he wanted because he knew that the people at the jobcentre would never be able to find a job for him and force him into work.
At the end of the day, you aren't doing yourself any favours hun and you know it - hence being all defensive. The longer you keep claiming benefits the harder it will be for you to get a job. If your anxiety affects you that badly then you need to be put on incapacity benefit, and I'm sure your doctor would support you. It's a pretty easy, yet boring life on the dole and you start taking it for granted. I'm speaking from experience here.
Oh fuck off.
I was diagnosed- officially- with Borderline Personality Disorder. Go and look it up sometime.
I still manage to have a job which include prolonged contact with the public. And not just any public, the most disadvantaged and pressurised public too.
If I can do it anyone can do it. The illness isn't the problem, the attitude is.
Either you realise that you need to do something with your life, or you realise that mummy and daddy are so pathetic that they will support you. One of those choices will make you a mature independent adult, and one of them won't.
You guess which one I chose.
You guess which one Ilora chose.
Excuse any typing errors, I'm pissed. Off my own money, too.
Seriously dude,its 5am and i just worked a 14hour shift and your shit still doesnt add up to me and my slowness.
You need a hypnotist to get your arse into a job love.
Someone can hold your hand at a gig but you cant get a job behind a till?im not sitting here like i know anything about this shit your claiming to have but im pretty damn certain of two things
-anything thats an illness is best treated with proper medication,i went to see a hypnotist last week who made drunk tourists get naked,thats all he was good for.No doctor on the earth is goin to give you medication your going to become addicted to:|
-there must be somewhere in whereever it is you live like a small corner shop or a little cafe that wants someone young and chea with little or no experience to do a job on a small level.if your seriousy trying to tell me i work my fucking arse off for people like you and either of those two comments arnt right i hope you get hit by a bus.
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What about a job in a call centre?someone somewhere ALWAYS wants call centre people and they pay well.
I suppose she'll be telling us next she lives in a field 72miles from civilisation in any direction.
Ilora - admit it, you're giving up too easily. It's never easy finding work but you have to try. Everything is experience. You maybe need to try and get on your own two foot ie stop letting your parents pay for things. As with the SAD I think you're readily using it as an excuse too easily.
have to agree with that. the more you tell yourself you can't do something,and make excuses for not getting a job,any job, the more likely it is you will become a self fufilling prophecy.
If that's the case, as I suspect it is being as JK knows her stuff, then the system is massively flawed. It should be 6 months within any, say, year long period, regardless of consecitivity.
Still, nothing anyone says in this thread is likely to make any difference, it's all been said before - including, interestingly, the info that she should be on incapacity benefit and not JSA - and Ilora will remain convinced that she is doing entirely no wrong.
if you try telling me its easier to get a job in a bank, than in somewhere youd like to work then i will shoot myself!
It is indeed a vicious circle, but it is one you have to break - otherwise you'll be stuck, and I really doubt you want to live your life like this, no matter how much denial is there. It took me a panic attack in the teaching hospital where I go to classes, and being rushed to A&E to realise that maybe I needed some help.
I know it isn't the right thread for it, but in dealing with these things, you can only get help if you want to, and at this stage, it sounds like you're making excuses. I know this, because I used to make excuses for my anxiety and depression. If you can't go alone to gigs, and you know that you wouldn't be able to seek help without freaking out - then bring support with you to seek that help. I don't know if you are willing to face your problem yet, but with every little hurdle, comes a solution, and I have provided you with a solution for that one.
Life ain't fair. I wasn't eligable for a student loan this year, as I wasn't a technically a student because I was taking a year out. I had to scape together what I had left of my last loan, and consolidate other accounts, where I had been saving money from when I had been working from the age of 13 at a hair salon earning about a third of what you get in a week during a 10 hour shift and 15 minute lunch break.
So on top of having to go to lectures, studying for exams etc I had to pay council tax, rent, bills, etc and I had to get a job. I was very lucky to have my mum help a little, because she once took on 3 jobs to put some money aside so I could pay for things if I wanted to go to uni. And on top of that, I had to continue with my CBT.
It's bloody hard work, but it's worth it, because I'm proud of my achievements. Don't think you're the only person who likes to buy stuff that's so expensive only an idiot would buy them, my lj list can certainly back me up on that. Whenever I shopped it was during the sales, or having a trawl through vintage stuff, after I had some salary left over. I also had a cousin give me her hand-me-downs. What I buy, I don't apologise for, because it is spent with whatever is left over of my hard earned money.
I get the feeling that at the moment, with your anxiety etc, if you were offered a job as a chocolate taster, or fashion designer, you would still find a way to justify not accepting the jobs, because you haven't faced your fear of dealing with your anxiety. And it sounds as if you're not prepared to do that yet. So with all the flaming, talking etc, nothing anyone says is really going to mean anything, because you don't seem serious about wanting to get help, as harsh/honest as that sounds.
And in not wanting to get help, you communicate that you're happy with your current lifestyle, and that builds resentment from other people, because as hard as it is to comprehend - you're not the only one with problems, yet those with problems can't afford to buy the underwear, or go on the holidays - even if they are in the sales, or bargains.
If you haven't already, take a look and address the cause - not the symptoms.
Applause for Kermit, please.