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Education, Catholic or C of E ?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Sorry about another religion type post but here goes anyway.
My family are C of E although we do not go to church. In the area I have two schools within 5 mins walk from me , however to be honest I did not want my child going to these schools, they are both C of E Schools. So anyway instead of sending her to them she is actually at a Catholic School which is approx 20 mins ish walk for me. This school has a very small class compared to others, they have an excellent Ofsted report and it is a very friendly school where the children are taught that we are all good at something and they let the *good* come out in the children.
Now a couple of questions for you
1) Do you agree with the mixing of children with different religions, or should C of E go to a C of E school and vice versa?
2) A question which I must ask at school about which is:
Because my Daughter is C of E does that mean she will not take her 1st Holy Communion with the children that are catholic? I have had 2 people tell me conflicting stories so am totally not sure at all. Ive been told as long as we take her to church on sundays before the 1st holy communion then she can go ahead and take it however the other person said point blank NO she can't. So who is right?
Any input please
My family are C of E although we do not go to church. In the area I have two schools within 5 mins walk from me , however to be honest I did not want my child going to these schools, they are both C of E Schools. So anyway instead of sending her to them she is actually at a Catholic School which is approx 20 mins ish walk for me. This school has a very small class compared to others, they have an excellent Ofsted report and it is a very friendly school where the children are taught that we are all good at something and they let the *good* come out in the children.
Now a couple of questions for you
1) Do you agree with the mixing of children with different religions, or should C of E go to a C of E school and vice versa?
2) A question which I must ask at school about which is:
Because my Daughter is C of E does that mean she will not take her 1st Holy Communion with the children that are catholic? I have had 2 people tell me conflicting stories so am totally not sure at all. Ive been told as long as we take her to church on sundays before the 1st holy communion then she can go ahead and take it however the other person said point blank NO she can't. So who is right?
Any input please
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Comments
Our family were the ones who gave us grief for sending her to the school she is at.
*chuckles* An interesting way of putting it and yeah, I reckon I'll agree. I think it's unfair to put a child in to a Catholic/CoE school. Why? Well if a child wants to belong to a religion then they should be allowed to choose it, not have it rammed down their throat. My brother goes to a Catholic school and some of the things I've heard about it are disgusting. I'd never put my own children throughit, but then I'm Pagan and would let them believe what they feel right with believing.
I don't have anything against any religion, what suits you suits you, but things like religious studies/morals should be optional for a child to learn.
I thought I may get asked this
Ok the school that I wanted Becks to go to were over subscribed and had no places available for her. The schools which are nearest to me I did not want her to go to. These two schools near me take children from some very rough areas, I walk past the schools and I have heard the language, attitude problems etc.
I think school uniform should be compulsary but in these two schools they are not compulsary so you get kids going to school in jog bottoms etc, so everything taken into consideration I did not want her to go to these schools. Which left me with a Catholic School which has a very good ofsted report. a very friendly school, a school which has had good exam results in the past and is one of the schools with the highest actuall pass mark. Yes its a catholic school but this school is no where near religious as when we were younger, its not ran by nuns anymore lol. She goes to church once a week and im happy with that, id be a hypocrit if I sent her to a catholic school and would not allow her to go to church.
I think my Daughters education is the priority here, she is an intelligent child and I think she should go to the school which I feel will bring out the best in her. Yes she goes to a catholic school, so what? when she is 12 yrs old she can go onto a C of E school or if we prefer she can still carry on and finish her education in a catholic, but the choice on that will be made when she is older and we see what the schools record for teaching etc is like then.
I am not a religious person, I dont go to church but above all here, I cant think about myself I have to think of Becks and whats best for her
She was 5 years old when she started school, you tell me how a 5 yr old can make such a decision?
She will make the decision when shes old enough but until then I have to do what I think is best for her, which at this time is making sure she gets the best education and hopefully when she is old enough she will be thankful that I did send her to a good school, be it catholic, C of E or whatever.
I don't think your daughter will be allowed to take First Holy Communion with the rest of the children unless you have her baptised into the Catholic faith. I'm a Catholic and I'm pretty sure we take our communion at 7 years old, whereas C of E make their first communion at a later age, but don't quote me on that. To make your first holy communion your daughter would also have to make her first confession, something I no longer agree with personally, but I had to make before we were allowed to recieve the sacrament. Again your daughter would have to be a practicing Catholic to make her confession and therefore make her communion. Hope this helps
As for your point about religions mixing at schools, well I am all for that. Although I live in N.Ireland and probably have a different reason for advocating intergrated education than simply a mixing of faiths, there are other deep-rooted social reasons for wanting integrated education here.
She was baptised C of E so she wont be able to do it then. She is 7 now but is one of the eldest in the class, they do the First Holy communion next term.
What is it actually like in N.Ireland now with mixing of religions? would I be classed as a bad parent for letting my Daughter go to a catholic school? would she even be accepted in a catholic school?
Thanks for you help
Ah sorry Mr Roll I think I misunderstood your post, I now see it as though you are asking me why worry about First Holy Communion?
Well because Becks came in from school and said she was doing her First Holy Communion next year and she was quite excited about it. Obviously they had been talking about it and she thought that she would do the same as the catholic children. So I said to her im not sure wether she will be doing it and that we would have to ask the head teacher to find out exactly what happens.
I would not want her to be treated any differently from the other kids, so if that means if she can go ahead and do it then she will do as the rest do. When she is old enough to decide which religion she wants then that will be her choice.
Just to add she is not the only non Catholic child in her class, there are many throughout the whole school
But putting aside the religion side of it, I think if you and your daughter are both happy with it, then I don't see why she shouldn't go to school there. I think these days, finding a school with an excellent Ofsted report is hard to find, (my mum gets visits from Ofsted to her nursery, and the kids there are 3!) :crazyeyes
I wouldn't worry about her not joining in with the communion anyway, kids are too young at that age to care anyway and I'm sure the teachers will let her take part in the singing and the other parts of the ceremony if you wanted her to.
Mixing of religions in Northern Ireland is still pretty much a hot potato. There has been a large increase in the number of catholics attending state schools, which had been traditionally protestant and there has also been a rise in the number of intergrated schools, where they aim to have a broad mix of religions. Very rarely do Protestant children attend Catholic schools, but this is because the Catholic church do not encourage protestants to attend, which is a shame because it would probably go far to reconsciling the two communities.
I went to a Catholic school till I was 16 and there was only one protestant in my year. I then went to a state run school to do my a levels where the ratio was 80% Protestant 20% Catholic. I think that really helped me make friends from the other community and has made me a much more tolerant person as a result.
Saying that the vast majority of people over here become friends through Uni and Work etc and cannot be arsed with the whole Protestant / Catholic thing. It really is a small minority in this country who hold us to randsom and encourage hatred. Of course watching the news, that side of things is never reported and I suppose it can't be denied that problems still exist but I think we're getting there. For the sake of future generations we need to work together and all be friends, but not everyone here thinks like me....
Its more the fact she wants to do it, kind of just be like the rest. They see it as one big party where for the day the girls get to wear beautiful dresses and shes already said how she wants her hair, so you see its not that I desperatley want her to, its the fact she wants to and if she cant im going to have one unhappy girl on my hands
Im glad to hear that things are getting better there. religion who would have thought that it would brought so much trouble eh. I suppose its the older generation that seem to not accept things? like the younger generation are now more opinionated and dont follow suit just to please.
Ah...but everyone in the UK...even the Queen is part Catholic way back: King James.
Who was replaced by the British parliament with Protestant William and Mary of Orange because they didn't want a Catholic King.
Anyway, on topic - it's only natural that you should send your daughter to the best school so I think it's ridiculous you should be attacked for that. Who cares about the religion (says he who is CofE but my dad and his side of the family are Catholic and my mum and her side of CofE) in the end it's all Christianity and you're all worshipping the same God, it's just how you worship. Religion is supposed to be all open and welcoming theoretically so I don't see why she shouldn't be allowed to take part in communion, I mean you see Prince Charles on the news taking part in Sikh religious services which is a much bigger gap, as long as you're happy with it Becky you should go for it.
I would have loved to have gone to my local Catholic secondary school because it was/is brand new state of the art, but I couldn't because I just did not want to have five RE lessons a week and forced worship.
Any other reason, apart from having it taught 5 times a week ?
I remember being taught R.E 2 times a week in the school I went to which was not catholic. I really dont think schools ram it down your throat in this day and age, its a more relaxed, teaching process.
Obviously I am not at school with Becks so I dont know the extent of what she is taught but she doesent come home every day saying shes been to church, or that she learned this about religion today.
I think the UK Bill of Rights needs to be rethought anyway. I understand that the Monarch is the head of the C of E. But I think it's still a source of any bad feelings between Catholics and Prostestants.
Religion classes are o.k. I think, as a person, you are either spiritual or you aren't and no amount of preaching is going to make someone religious or make someone turn into a Catholic or Prostestant.
The Bill of Rights establishes the whole principle that Parliament is greater than the monarch in terms of powers and established the idea of a constitutional monarchy. I agree that the Church of England should be disestablished (made independent from the state) so that we can be an officially secular country. Those who actually go to church in the CofE want it disestablished so that the church can be more religious by not being linked with the government.
I think religious education should be stopped as a proper lesson after junior school when kids have learnt the basics of each major religion and tolerance is promoted. In secondary school it should just be limited to its role in Personal Social and Religious Education.
Met this guy some weeks ago who was studying for his religion exam, which is a compulsary 1 year class in the last year of high school. He's an atheist, but said that he could definitely put stuff into perspective, and apply different stuff and why things were as they were because of it.
Such classes does make one realise, how and why a big part of society is how it is.
But that rise in witchcraft thing does tell me that people seem to want to believe in something beyond this world. So if they are given a religion...they seem to create one...maybe just in the form of a set of beliefs.
Actually I think a lot of the increase is from girls watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I think it's because the UK has become a lot more secular, people feel they don't have to be born into Christianity and stay there like they would have years ago - although most people in this country only join the CofE so they have somewhere to get married and somewhere to be buried. I don't know about burial laws but even today there are restrictions on where you can get married which usually meant a choice between some horrible drab registry or a comparatively nicer church (or other religious building), although these laws have been repealed in Scotland and will be soon in the rest of the UK meaning you can marry where you want. This I think will harm the CofE a lot, if people don't need the CofE for their social functions these people will leave and leave only the religious people who make up about 10% of the people who are officially in the CofE.
Anyway, I wandered off from the point - back on point; as the UK has become more secular people are creating their own beliefs and religions, most people in the UK believe in God or a higher power but few believe in all the restrictions, controls and ceremonies of organised religion. Therefore, people are making up what they like and witchcraft is part of that - come on what's more fun reading some dusty old book, sitting on some uncomfortable pew singing songs no-one understands, being lectured in a drafty stone building or coming home from a hard day creating love potions, putting curses on people and flying on your broomstick?
Hmmmm, what exactly can the real witchcraft do?
When I have children I want them to learn that some people follow a relgion, but I won't indoctrinate them into any faith and I will allow them to make up their own mind, but this will be difficult with things like nativity plays etc. Yes they're fun, but..... well, they're teaching children "facts" which in actual fact are myths.
Isnt it the same at all schools be it Catholic, C of E ?
Can I ask what you would do if you were in the same situation as I have been with Becks. Which school would you have sent her too?
That's really not the point though, is it? Are you just gonna take her to church so she can do her holy communion and then stop? It's not a 'party' - it's supposed to be a significant religious thingamajig. Not something to do because 'everyone else is.'
CoE weren't allowed to do Holy Communion unless the priest agreed to it, saw that they had commitment to it etc. Dunno about other schools. Fair enough if you want to send her to a Catholic school for the sake of her education, but if she's/ you're not not religious, there's no point doing the religious ceremonies is there?
Yeah I see where your coming from and can fully understand what you are saying.
Maybe I did not put everything in there. I should have also said that when she moves up to the next class they will have specific lessons which lead up to taking the Holy Communion, which she also is looking forward too. Currently she goes to church with the school once a week and she enjoys it. So although I dont go to church do I have the right to stop her doing what she likes doing?
How I see it is that if I am allowing her to go to a catholic school then I should (if she is allowed to) to follow suit with the rest of her class and if that means taking her First Holy Communion then so beit.
She is a typical little girl, she loves the pretty dresses, she like having her hair done so obviously all she will think about is having this pretty dress and like a party afterwards, religion is not even gonna be anywhere in her mind because of her age.
I do understand what you are saying but I also understand that Becks wants to be like the rest of the children, so to be honest if she is allowed to take part then I will let her. When she is old enough to make her own mind up then she can decide for herself wether she wants to still go to church or wether she does not but thats got to be when she is old enough.
It's true. In surveys approximately 80% of people say they believe in God in the UK. Yes, maybe it is because of a fear they won't get into heaven or to use it as a crutch when things get tough - as the old saying goes "there are no non-believers on a sinking ship" - people believe in God when they need support ie; when they're dying or have some other trouble in their life. If everything's going fine you don't really bother about God. It may be scaring people into religion and it probably is but nonetheless it makes them believe and usually it's a self-imposed fear that makes you believe, at least it is in my case and I don't call myself religious at all.
I don't know about the religious technicalities of it but as I said before, if Prince Charles can take part in a Sikh service then why shouldn't your daughter take Holy Communion? I mean the variations between the churches are only in how they worship everything else in the same really. Did you talk to the school about it?
If you still have no success just tell them you're a nun!
Well theres a good idea
No I didnt speak to them, she had a stand in teacher today and the Head Teacher was on a course. Its not like I need to know now, it wont even start till the new term in September but I just wanted some input