will this ever get better??

Former Member

me and my boyfriend of two years have recently split up but we decided to stay friends, now he means so much to me because even before we were going out we had done things together and he was also the person i lost my virginity to.

he made me feel special and important and like no-one ever has done before, so anyway we decided to stay friends and everything was fine until a couple of days ago he found someone else, he keeps telling me about how wonderful she is and it hurts so much because i want him to be with me.

i am so depressed at the moment, i cant eat and the only time i sleep is when i cry myself to sleep, does this feeling ever go away or am i going to be stuck with it forever?? :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :banghead:

Former Member

It does get better honestly! Being friends is all very well, but it makes it very difficult to get over someone when you're still so close. Try not keeping in touch with him for a week or so, you need time away from him to be able to get him out of your system. Spend some time on your own, and have some fun with your friends. Trust me I've just come out of a 3 year relationship!

Former Member

Of course it'll go away, but it will take time.

On my personal experience and the experience of my friends, I'd advise you that it really isn't a good idea to try to become friends with someone when your relationship has only just ended - it doesn't allow you any time to recover from the change and to get used to being without them, and it's often the case that one of you takes longer than the other to get over it. In this case it appears to be you, and that's perfectly understandable.

Difficult as it may be, I think you should stop talking to him so much - explain that you need a little space and time to yourself to sort things out in your head. Then try as hard as you can to forget about him. Go out with your friends, throw yourself into your work, do new things, get a new haircut.... whatever it takes to realise that life can be fun without him!

In time, it will go away and you'll be able to speak to him again without being too upset, but I really think that at the moment it's too hard to try to be friends with him.

Former Member

Im so afraid that this is going to happen to me. My boyf wants us to split up and im so scared of not having him around anymore, but i couldnt stay freinds because id hate to go through what you are now. Why is life so bloody complicated!! Hope you start to feel better soon xxxx

Former Member

Cinderella if your boyfriend 'wants' you to split up, it's already pretty much over. I know that's hard to take but you can't be happy in a relationship in which one of you wants out.

Sorry I hope you don't mind me butting in when you weren't asking for advice, but I wanted to give my opinion!

Former Member

He sounds very insensitive to tell you about his new girlfriend. Tell him you don't want to hear it, or even better, take a complete break from each other. I know that's hard if you are friends, but how are you supposed to get over someone when they are in your face, being reminded of them all the time?

It will get better.

I came out of a 2 1/2 year relationship about a year ago, and I was a complete mess, same as you I couldn't eat, sleep etc.

Now I am 100 times happier than I ever was then.

It does take time, try to keep busy so you don't have time to think too much, and day by day you will slowly realise you feel better.

I know it hurts really badly, and you might think that you wll never have the same connection with someone again, but trust me, given time, you will.

Look after yourself and talk a lot, it's not good to keep things bottled up.

Former Member

I hate to copy everyone else who replied to you but they are right. It takes time, you will feel better, there will be someone else, but right now it hurts. You should let him know it hurts, because even if you are friends now you had a romantic relationship before and hearing about the girl who is now in that position is not right. I hope you feel better soon

Former Member

thankyou for your reply's guys, i haven't spoke to him for a few days now and i just got promoted t work so im even busier than before, hopefully this feeling will go away soon.

thanks again lisa xxxx