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will this ever get better??
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
me and my boyfriend of two years have recently split up but we decided to stay friends, now he means so much to me because even before we were going out we had done things together and he was also the person i lost my virginity to.
he made me feel special and important and like no-one ever has done before, so anyway we decided to stay friends and everything was fine until a couple of days ago he found someone else, he keeps telling me about how wonderful she is and it hurts so much because i want him to be with me.
i am so depressed at the moment, i cant eat and the only time i sleep is when i cry myself to sleep, does this feeling ever go away or am i going to be stuck with it forever?? :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :banghead:
he made me feel special and important and like no-one ever has done before, so anyway we decided to stay friends and everything was fine until a couple of days ago he found someone else, he keeps telling me about how wonderful she is and it hurts so much because i want him to be with me.
i am so depressed at the moment, i cant eat and the only time i sleep is when i cry myself to sleep, does this feeling ever go away or am i going to be stuck with it forever?? :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :banghead:
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Comments
On my personal experience and the experience of my friends, I'd advise you that it really isn't a good idea to try to become friends with someone when your relationship has only just ended - it doesn't allow you any time to recover from the change and to get used to being without them, and it's often the case that one of you takes longer than the other to get over it. In this case it appears to be you, and that's perfectly understandable.
Difficult as it may be, I think you should stop talking to him so much - explain that you need a little space and time to yourself to sort things out in your head. Then try as hard as you can to forget about him. Go out with your friends, throw yourself into your work, do new things, get a new haircut.... whatever it takes to realise that life can be fun without him!
In time, it will go away and you'll be able to speak to him again without being too upset, but I really think that at the moment it's too hard to try to be friends with him.
Sorry I hope you don't mind me butting in when you weren't asking for advice, but I wanted to give my opinion!
It will get better.
I came out of a 2 1/2 year relationship about a year ago, and I was a complete mess, same as you I couldn't eat, sleep etc.
Now I am 100 times happier than I ever was then.
It does take time, try to keep busy so you don't have time to think too much, and day by day you will slowly realise you feel better.
I know it hurts really badly, and you might think that you wll never have the same connection with someone again, but trust me, given time, you will.
Look after yourself and talk a lot, it's not good to keep things bottled up.
thanks again lisa xxxx