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Should i tell him?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right,..bear with me. this gets confusing but please read on.

I met someone two weeks ago, he was lovely sent some lovely messages as if he was VERY interested in me. BUT when i told him i had feelings for him he ran a mile! Told me he wouldnt go out with me because of his past relationships - ok thats fine but i AM different! He made me believe we had a future and if he had no intensions of that IT is WRONG!

been speaking to someone who said he texts lovely messages to a lot of people in most counties (being a national represeentative of a youth council - one of the things i dont do) he goes down the pub pulls about 20 every time!

so ok i wouldnt want to go out with him if he was doing this whilst with me!

Another thing tyhough is the fact i will have to work in partnership with him in leos this year i work with him in St John Ambulance (he is very involved with this as he said goin on about how he great - i was talking to someone and he 'voted and elected' himself for the national position so he seems up himself and has already lied - YET I HAVE HUGE FEELINGS FOR HIM - i ruined a possible relationship and friendship for him I feel betrayed and stupid luckily not used!

I want to email him and ask WHY i has treated me like this and that women are not to be treated like object as i dont feel all the people he has hurt and upset in the past have not told him!

I though this male was different i thought bveing a volunteer he may be more like me respectful and nice but NO its alright for people to say you must just go for the bad boys but this one was lovely caring and did more voluntary work like me now i know it wasnt important to him like it was to me but just a way to get women!:(

What do i do ignore him and feel really uncomfortable or let him know and put our friendship (what i have left of it) on the line? I only met him 2 weeks ago but feel i should tell him how i feel it may help but he may laugh more at me - BUT like the other person said he may not think about others feelings and may be hurt to think he has upset someone!:(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd just leave him to his own devices. Sounds like he needs to do a bit of growing up before he can be part of a relationship. I know it's hard if you like him but I think you answered the questions yourself.

    You get together and he'll just play you. Unfortunately it dicks like him that gives us men a bad name.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with Ninja, a leopard can't change his spots - even if you were to get together, he'd screw you around.

    Try as hard as you can to forget your feelings for him because he isn't good enough for you hun! :)

    You don't want to make things too awkward so you can't work with him, so just try to get on and have a good business relationship.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes i agree thinking about it but i hope to god that someone tells him what a loser he is! he is 23 yet acts like a child!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *DEVIL*
    Yes i agree thinking about it but i hope to god that someone tells him what a loser he is! he is 23 yet acts like a child!

    I rest my case. I thought he was about 16. If at 23 he doesn't realise the harm that he's causing then he is obviously immature. His time will come. He'll fall for someone big time and they'll shit all over him. Then he'll maybe know what it feels like.

    Forget him. You deserve and will get better. :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes i know but i just feel STUPID for believing he had feelings for me :(

    he treated me like dirt and now i feel really really awkward!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *DEVIL*
    yes i know but i just feel STUPID for believing he had feelings for me :(

    he treated me like dirt and now i feel really really awkward!

    Sorry :( I've been in a similar situation and if makes you feel about this small doesn't it? At least you realise that he treated you badly. Don't go chasing after him, he's not worth it. I promise you'll get over the awkwardness and the feeling stupid in good time.

    LSS
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *DEVIL*
    yes i know but i just feel STUPID for believing he had feelings for me :(

    he treated me like dirt and now i feel really really awkward!

    Why feel awkward? He obviously doesn't give a hoot about you or your feelings. Don't let it or him bother you.

    If you stood on a snake that was trying to hurt you would you feel bad? No. Same applies here.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by NinjaMaster


    If you stood on a snake that was trying to hurt you would you feel bad? No. Same applies here.

    I like that :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry but this guy sounds like a right arse hole, he has to be taught that you cant treat ppl like that and toy with their feelings! if i were you i'd tell he face to face to be honnest i think doing things like that via the net is week...he could cut and paste what you wrote and twist it so you look like ur crazy....its happened to me......tell him up frount and in frount of ppl. make him ashamed and demand an apology!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Zella
    sorry but this guy sounds like a right arse hole, he has to be taught that you cant treat ppl like that and toy with their feelings! if i were you i'd tell he face to face to be honnest i think doing things like that via the net is week...he could cut and paste what you wrote and twist it so you look like ur crazy....its happened to me......tell him up frount and in frount of ppl. make him ashamed and demand an apology!

    do you thing it is right to tell him at all?

    Either way he can twist what i say - im not a confident person in fact i wouldnt have a clue what to say :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well then have a drink to up ur confidence and have it out with him......of course its the right thing to do! this wanker needs to be told! hes 23 for gods sakes and hes acting like a 14yr old thats just discovered his penis
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *DEVIL*
    I like that :D

    I have plenty of them. Comes from my Ninja training. Grasshopper very wise. :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Zella
    well then have a drink to up ur confidence and have it out with him......of course its the right thing to do! this wanker needs to be told! hes 23 for gods sakes and hes acting like a 14yr old thats just discovered his penis

    Yeah but i cant believe i was STUPID enough to believe he may of actually liked me! :(

    i have thought and thought whether i did something wrong or not - but i mean this person who told me was bitter about his position in St John she said that everyone hates him yet everyone i spoken to in St John really think he is great!

    So was she making it up either way he has lead me on when i show interest shat on me! sooo i dont know!:confused:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    guys can be vrey perswaysive(sp) when they want to be. your not the one who should feel stupid its him, we all wnat someone to care about us and we all want someone to tell us how pretty we are and this guy knows that...and he uses it to his advanage, if you cant pluck up the courage to do it on ur own gather a few of the ppl hes done this to in the past and have a big show down.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Zella
    gather a few of the ppl hes done this to in the past and have a big show down.

    Someone has told me what has happened so i dont know any of these and some live miles away! :( so looks like im on my own - will get over the anger first! i was thinking along the lines of revenge! :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ooooooh revenge is a very good idea....i like the way you think girl. what did you have in mind?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If revenge is your thang hows about.....

    Next time you see him out with a girlie. Walk up. Slap him. Call him a two-timing bastard and storm off. Leave him to explain it to his lady friend.

    Oh. Or pour a drink over him in front of all his mates.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ive done that!!!:D :D soooooooooo much fun! but then he did it to me when i was with a new guy dam him! lol it was all good fun tho, im always doing stupid stuff like that tho.....:rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's the problem with revenge. Can sometimes bite you in the ass.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He is a very girlie man! :D

    U thinking what im thinking i have a number of male friends who are also willing to play along - flirt with him in a night club then 5 other blokes come up flirt with him we argue over him i end up saying well he does like to try it on with NEW people so have him!

    Leave him to get rid of them all! :D

    we all have a night out planned for my leo party :D:D:D:naughty::p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Should i tell him?
    Originally posted by *DEVIL*
    I met someone two weeks ago, he was lovely sent some lovely messages as if he was VERY interested in me. BUT when i told him i had feelings for him he ran a mile!

    Obviously I don't know what he said in his messages but is it possible that you have interpreted some very simple but friendly messages as being something more than they really are?

    If so it may just simply be that the strength of you feelings appeared to be too strong a response to his friendliness? and so he backed off.

    I wouldn't confront hi in the way you suggest because it may seem to him that you are going over the top. Try to be friends and find out more about him by getting to know him, rather than relying on the tales your friends tell you. That way he may begin to see you as a mature and sensible person.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Should i tell him?
    Originally posted by *DEVIL*


    been speaking to someone who said he texts lovely messages to a lot of people in most counties, he goes down the pub pulls about 20 every time!

    are you saying that all of the girls he pulls have some how gottem mixed signals too?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry byny but i know what signal i got im not making this up or trying to sound all ahhh i been let down - i will post a few messages if it pleases you to prove my point!

    you are a great person and i want to go out with you do you like me 2?- 1st day

    after soeaking on the fone for an hour with him saying how much he liked me --- you are a lovely person the more we speak and the more i get to know you the more i am starting to like you you are a great person and i really do like you - 3rd day

    Before we met - i cant wait to see you i have missed you so much

    same sort of messages would i be boyfriend material - to which i replied of course

    do you like me 2? - i replied yes!

    many along these lines would this give you or anyone else herethe impression that someone is interested unless tyou are weird and feel that everyone is taking you for a bloody ride!

    THE SIGNALS I GOT WERE CLEAR - from what i have heard and from what someone has said from experience he has been able to send lovely texts - yet not actually be interested wta im saying is that i feel hurt and am not inthe mood for someone to say that i am making it up

    From looking at the messages i start to believe AGAIN that he may have some feelings - but as soon as i showed i was interested was treated like dirt! :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Should i tell him?
    Originally posted by Zella
    are you saying that all of the girls he pulls have some how gottem mixed signals too?

    Well yes obviously - its not just 1 i have heard this from its many that have been treated like it!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    From the messages he send it's seems like he's very insecure and needs constant approval from girls to boost his ego. I dunno if he used your name or not but it doesn't look like he did - in which case I wouldn't be surprised if he sends the same messages to all the girls to give himself an ego boost.

    Don't stress about it, the faults with him not you. He obviously is very insecure and lacks the ability to commit to one girl. Move on and find someone who will treat you properly.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by kevlar85
    From the messages he send it's seems like he's very insecure and needs constant approval from girls to boost his ego. I dunno if he used your name or not but it doesn't look like he did - in which case I wouldn't be surprised if he sends the same messages to all the girls to give himself an ego boost.

    Don't stress about it, the faults with him not you. He obviously is very insecure and lacks the ability to commit to one girl. Move on and find someone who will treat you properly.

    *claps*

    Well said kevlar.
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