un-medicated recovery possible?

Former Member

First let me apologize. I hate talking about this more than anything that I hate. I hate admitting to it and I hate having people know about it. Please don't think of me any differently, no matter what you think now. I just need to get this off my chest.

I've been pretty much depressed since I was 9. I have been on Prozac since then.

When I am on it, I seem happy and 'normal.' I enjoy the things that I always have, I am happy in social situations, in general, things are better.

I have talked to my psych and she says that a normal life is possible off the drugs but it would be a hard thing to accomplish. All the things that I have overcome would slowly start to leave and I would have to start over, trying harder to keep things sane.

But every now and then I start to think about my life on pills. I take them every day. Every day that I take one is a day that my life seems to be under somebody elses control. I usually don't think about it, but every now and then the thoughts come across. I take them in the morning and I feel that I am so helpless that I can't control my own life. I take them and I feel that I will never live a normally happy life because my happiness is fake and drug-induced.

I have taken myself off the medication 2 times before. Both times ended the same. I got sadder and angrier. I started cutting again. Things that I enjoyed I didn't anymore.

Of course, people would notice and I would eventually go back to the medicine.

But I've done it again. But this time I don't want to go back. I've only started to go bad. I just stopped taking them about 2 weeks ago, so really things aren't even what they will soon be like. Things in my life all seem horrible again. My school work has gone down, I don't even do it anymore. I go places that I usually love and I hate every minute of it. I hang out with my friends and I can't find the joy in that that I used to. I spend time alone and I can't even enjoy that either. I cut again. The things that I have loved, I can't stand doing them anymore. My motivation (which was nearly non-existant to begin with) is even less.

I know that my life is better when I am on the drugs, but this time is different. I don't want to go back. I can't really explain why, but I can't go back to being fake happy. I have tried so hard to acomplish things by myself but I just can't. I just don't know anymore.

This is probably just a confusing buch of sentences. It doesn't make much sense to me either. I don't know what I'm looking for either out of this. I just don't know anymore.

Former Member

ok so you need prozac to help you through, Its not fake happiness, its just something that allows you to live a normal life. depression is a real illness and if yours is caused by a chemical imbalance then theres no shame in taking a medication to redress that balance. Its the same as a diabetic having to take insulin every day in my opinion. If your depression gets worse when you try to come off it, then your not ready to come off it yet. theres still some sort of stigma attached to mental illness and I dont know why because 10% of the population have suffered from depression at some point - thats a hell of a lot of people.

Former Member

i know how you feel. i really, really do...


i've been depressed for as long as i can remember... it got worse when i was about 8 or 9 and since then i've been on and off medication.

with me they've tried everything. therapy, counselling, drugs (seroxat/cipramil/zispin/efexor/prozac/diazepam)....

nothing worked. some of the drugs would make me feel ok, but nothing really made me feel better.

2 years ago i made a choice to come off the drugs.

to be honest i would rather feel like myself and not be able to get out of bed than be ok but feel like a zombie.

off medication (and with a *hell* of a lot of trying) i have bad days. i do, but i also have good days. on medication i only have ok days...

it's a choice. and it's your choice. no one else can make it for you.

Former Member

If you have been on Prozac for a long time, stopping abruptly is not a good idea. If you do want to come of the pills discuss it with your doctor/ psyc and they can work out a safer plan for you to withdraw from medication. However, like has already been said depression is an illness and it is BOTH physical and emotional so there is nothing wrong with taking pills for it. Do go and discuss it all with a professional ...

Susie

interesting article?