Sexual History

Former Member

Could you marry someone or stay with someone forever that you have lied to regarding your sexual history?

Former Member

Um ... if I lied then it's up to my concience but if she/he has lied and I found out then I would have to decide whether I could trust them in future.

Former Member

First of all why should you lie about your sexual history ?
We all have a past, some may have had more partners or experiences than others. Buts that is what it is, it is in the past ! .
It's the present & the future that counts & if people cannot accept you for what you are, or have done, whatever it may have been in life, then they have the problem & should get a life .
We are all different, & if we are honest & true about our commitment to our partners, I can't see a problem.

Former Member

Personally I don't see any point lying. What I've done I've done and no one can change the past. It's all been part of making me who I am. The other person has fallen for me as that person and so really they shouldn't mind. I'm open about my sexual history and I know sometimes a bit too open but hey thats me.

As for staying with them it would be on my conscience. If they found out and still stayed with you it shows that it isn't all that important.

Former Member

Nah, I personally couldn’t.

I base my relationship on trust, so I couldn’t marry or be with her long term if I had to hide my past from them.

I’ve er, done some pretty bad thing sex wise, stuff I don’t need to say on here!, But the people I’m in involved with I tell (Even though there is no way for them to find out about it!) I still tell them. If I want the relationship to work I feel my partner has to know my mistakes that I’ve made in the past.

It’s only fair, you can have a relationship built up on lies.

Former Member

Put it like this then...

You dug a hole, you lied about it. Now years down the line this person is the one youa re going to marry. If you tell them that you lied x year ago then you could ruin it all, if you don't you have to live the lie. What would you do?

Former Member

I feel quite sick actually.

I panicked and made up a number when I was originally asked and I've stuck by that. The number is WAYYYY too high. But now 5 months have passed by and I feel that if I tell the truth its going to ruin everything that is great about us.

Ive fucked up.

Former Member

Woah! I wouldn't fret too much mate. You say the number's lower than you said? That's much better than finding out that the number's actually higher. I wouldn't've thought you have anything to worry about fessing up. Just explain that you were embarrassed by the question & said the first thing that came into your head.
It's certainly something I'd be able to forgive.

Former Member

yeh but then wouldn't you be thinking "If he lied abotu that, what else has he lied about?!" It would kill the trust and honesty we have built up. Bah!

Former Member

Well maybe, but it's not a huge thing to lie about. & it's easy to see why a male would increase the number of peeps he'd slept with. Plus, you earn bonus points for trusting her & feeling able to confide in her & fessing up.

Former Member

Originally posted by Sir Cum
I feel quite sick actually.

I panicked and made up a number when I was originally asked and I've stuck by that. The number is WAYYYY too high. But now 5 months have passed by and I feel that if I tell the truth its going to ruin everything that is great about us.

Ive fucked up.

Lol....loads of people do that. Hey if it doesn't come up again don't mention it. if it does then just come clean. Numbers don't matter anyway, what difference does it matter if you've had 1 person or a 50? It's a number not a life altering thing.

Relax, it's a common lie and she won't mind. I'm sure you had your reasons for the numberyou picked and as long as you can show her that and explain to her why you idd then you have no worries. i'm sure she hasn't been completly honest with you about everything.

Former Member

I like to think you're right. I'm kinda scared that by coming clean on this it will encourage less honesty in future.

Former Member

Yeah, but if the subject comes up again & you say a different number you're screwed.

Or not, as the case may very well be.

Former Member

Trust me it will be fine. It's not like anything majorly important. As long as ther's nothing else you've lied about/exagerated then you've nothing to worry about.

So how big an exageration was it eh?

Former Member

*tuts* :no: Should never lie. Ever. About anything

Former Member

20 instead of 10.

Fuck knows why.

I guess most of my mates are on 20+/

Former Member

So how bad is the actual lie?

Come clean to us and it will ease your soul!;)

Nah you’ve gone this far you may as well go the whole 9 yards and keep hush about it.

Former Member

Originally posted by Sir Cum
20 instead of 10.

Fuck knows why.

I guess most of my mates are on 20+/

That's not that bad, I wouldn't worry about it mate!

Just try not to lie In the future

Former Member

My problem is that I don't want to keep it going. She is so open and cool with me and wants to know everything there is to know about my past sexual history. The girls names, how I met them, what stuff we got up to, where we did it. But If I continue making up names and situations it is going to become one big twisted fuck up.

Former Member

Tell her!!!
She'll be cool with it. & if she's not, grovel for a while. It's sooo a forgivable offence! She will surely realise why you told her more.

Former Member

Oh, Well er…. I would come clean if I were you and say you only lied about it because you thought she would think less of you or something!

Former Member

Originally posted by Harmless
Oh, Well er…. I would come clean if I were you and say you only lied about it because you thought she would think less of you or something!

Exactly!!

Former Member

Originally posted by Sir Cum
My problem is that I don't want to keep it going. She is so open and cool with me and wants to know everything there is to know about my past sexual history. The girls names, how I met them, what stuff we got up to, where we did it. But If I continue making up names and situations it is going to become one big twisted fuck up.

:eek: tell me you haven't made up names and things? Thats gonna be a tricky one to get out of.

You've got to come clean. you can't remember 10 lies in the detail it sounds like you've made em all in. Sorry hun, but be honest, tell her your sorry and you don't know why, and you'l be fine.

Former Member

Use a few lines that should get you off the hook. (The old 'get out of jail cards')

I can’t think of any at the moment because I’ve never really had to use them!

“I only said it so you wouldn’t think less of me”.
“I can’t carry on lying to you because you mean so much to me”.
“There wasn’t anyway you could have found out about it but I needed to tell you the truth etc”.
“I’m so stupid, I’ll understand if you want to brake up with me”.(Big puppy dog eyes)

She wont call it off!, may make you earn her trust all over again. At the worse you’re looking at no sex for few weeks. I doubt even that! Slap on the wriest.

But you’re not a compulsive liar are you? You just told a little fib that turned into a white lie that got way out of hand! Right?!

Former Member

Yep honest to god this is the only "fib" I have ever told her.

I just dread that coming clean on this could drain the honesty out of the relationship though as things are fantastic as they are.

Former Member

Me and boyfriend know nothing about each others sexual history and that's the way I like it. We'd both get jealous or upset so what's the point in bringing up the past?

Former Member

Originally posted by TheMistress
Me and boyfriend know nothing about each others sexual history and that's the way I like it. We'd both get jealous or upset so what's the point in bringing up the past?

Thats what I said but she was insistent. I'd rather tell the truth than lie to all her questions.

Former Member

My man's the same. If I ask him, he'll tell me whatever I want to know, so I tend not to ask

Former Member

Why what's so bad Sir cum that you have to lie?

*is intrigued*

Former Member

Originally posted by TheMistress
Why what's so bad Sir cum that you have to lie?

*is intrigued*

Read the thread woman!

Former Member

Read the topic. I've dug a big hole and I don't want to keep digging. I want to put her straight but at the same time I don't want to hurt her or damage our relationship or prevent her and me from being completely honest with each other in the future.

For instance - Where I have put my number up to 20, she thinks I have slept with more people than her and that I have slept with more than her ex did, and she comments things like "You was great, thats your experience showing through". So If I then tell her "Actually Its only 10" she will see various conversations we've had in the last 5 months as complete bullshit.

I'm lost. And I still feel sick. And I still don't know what to do!

Live a lie or come clean and risk it all.