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Avoiding the friendzone

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, the girls you're choosing do seem to be pretty douchey. But there is no magic formula that will get you sex. It's not like one dinner and one drink equals blow job and dinner, dessert and 2 drinks equals sex. Nobody owes you sex, ever. For most, normal people it's down to preference. If I liked a guy enough I wouldn't need him to wine and dine me, it's who he is as a person.

    And yes, I've had fuck buddies/friends with benefits before (as those terms are interchangeable) and have had some form of conversation with them before, and liked them as a person. One was a good friend of mine from uni that I'd known and trusted for many years. Even for one night stands, I've liked the guys enough and felt safe with them. They made sure I was ok, felt ok, wasn't nervous or uncomfortable. I feel like if/when you have sex with a women you will not be concerned with her feelings or her enjoyment of it.

    I could see the handsomest man alive but if he is being a dick to those around them and treating women like objects, I would never in a million years go with them. For me it's a total turn off. There's needs to be some kind of likeability/ personality to them.

    If you don't like the idea of paying for meals anymore, think of another date night. If a woman really likes you, drinks are enough. Or go for a walk in a pretty place, go to the beach, casual lunch.

    Either way though, even casual sex requires some investment in it. There's no way you will ever be able to walk up to a woman, throw her some lines and she'll instantly go home with you for free. Would you go home with a stranger that you have no idea who they are or what they're about??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    There's needs to be some kind of likeability/ personality to them.

    If you don't like the idea of paying for meals anymore, think of another date night. If a woman really likes you, drinks are enough. Or go for a walk in a pretty place, go to the beach, casual lunch.

    Either way though, even casual sex requires some investment in it. There's no way you will ever be able to walk up to a woman, throw her some lines and she'll instantly go home with you for free. Would you go home with a stranger that you have no idea who they are or what they're about??

    I've no idea how to become likeable; no-one has ever liked me. There were times that people appeared to like me, but it was merely a predation strategy to trick me into trusting them - which I didn't find out about until they'd conned me or beat me up.

    I've bought drinks for girls in bars. In every case, she took the drink, then walked away from me and sat with someone else. I've tried suggesting things like lunch and a walk - they told me that I'm a cheapskate and I can forget anything other than a posh restaurant.

    I certainly would go home with a gorgeous girl who chatted me up and seduced me - not that I've ever had that opportunity.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, there must be someone who likes you. Friends, family? Do you have any brothers or sisters who can help you? Also, yes those women are definately wrong en's unless you like stuck up people. Anyone who calls you a cheap stake and will just use you for a posh restaurant isn't even worth a shag. Don't let your self esteem get so low that you will do all that for someone who doesn't appreciate it.

    And going home with people... Would you go home with a girl if you felt something wrong about her, like you couldn't trust her? What about a guy you made friends with in a pub but didn't feel right about him? Same things apply. You would jump at the chance to go home with a gorgeous women, anyone would, what about an average looking women? I think you're trying to approach the wrong type of woman for a start.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    Ok, there must be someone who likes you. Friends, family? Do you have any brothers or sisters who can help you? Also, yes those women are definately wrong en's unless you like stuck up people. Anyone who calls you a cheap stake and will just use you for a posh restaurant isn't even worth a shag. Don't let your self esteem get so low that you will do all that for someone who doesn't appreciate it.

    And going home with people... Would you go home with a girl if you felt something wrong about her, like you couldn't trust her? What about a guy you made friends with in a pub but didn't feel right about him? Same things apply. You would jump at the chance to go home with a gorgeous women, anyone would, what about an average looking women? I think you're trying to approach the wrong type of woman for a start.

    As I've said on a few of the threads on here; no-one likes me or cares about me. I don't have any friends. My family don't care about me.

    If I knew or believed someone to be violent, then I would not go home with them. I'm not violent and I don't believe I give the impression that I might be.
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