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Stuck in a rut

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I know that i really need to do something with my life, I need to shake it up, start something new that will take me on a new path in life that i can make my own. Problem is i dont know what or how.

each scenario/new things to try comes with their own negative outcome. and the truth is, i dont think i can do life by myself. Im stuck in a massive hole and need someone to get me out but all people tell me is that I need to do it for myself and they cant tell me what to do or help me. so i just stay in the hole because im not strong enough to pull myself out.

I KNOW that im stuck in a horrible, dead end job, unless i wanna be in a lifeless corporate, underpaid job forever
I KNOW that i dont do anything socially ever, spend every saturday night in and havent had a boyfriend for about 5 years
I KNOW that the only person I spend time with is my sister because I dont have anyone else
I KNOW that i cant live at home forever
I KNOW that i need to do something with my life.

I know all these things because im the one living it but dont know how to change it. Im looking and applying for new jobs that take my fancy and when im at home all i want to do is curl in a ball and hope the world doesnt find me and drag me out.

Im quite good at hiding how i feel and putting on a brave face and smile so no one really knows how i feel, just that i dont like my job. And even when i do tell them they just say 'do something about it', 'I cant tell you what to do, you just need to do something'. Well that doesnt help me because I need help. I dont know what to do, I cant choose or even find the opportunities i want, or even get the opportunity because i cant write the applications that will get me in and when it comes down to it, I just wanna hide with the lights off. Its a viscious circle

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh and I know there are volunteering opportunities out there where i can do something different but I dont know what to do, what to choose and im so scared of making a mistake or not enjoying what im doing
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What's the worst case if you try and volunteering opportunity and don't like it?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If I do it full time I dont have a job to go to after.

    And everytime Im out doing something socially or whatever, all i think is that its time Im not working towards changing my job. If i was to take up something in the evenings, thats time when I could be doing job applications or searching instead
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    If I do it full time I dont have a job to go to after.

    And everytime Im out doing something socially or whatever, all i think is that its time Im not working towards changing my job. If i was to take up something in the evenings, thats time when I could be doing job applications or searching instead

    Volunteering can be helping to change your job though, it's giving you more experience and helping you find what you might want to do.
  • Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    Hey Lexi

    Sorry you're having such a hard time. It does sound like you're in a vicious circle at the moment. It might not feel like it, but it is a really good start that you're aware of what's going on for you.

    When you said
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    each scenario/new things to try comes with their own negative outcome.
    , it made me think of how we make choices in life. I think most important choices are not a clear 100% positive and negative, and we never know completely what's going to happen. But not making any changes is a choice in itself. So while it can be useful to recognise possible negative outcomes, maybe sometimes we just have to take the risk and do things for the positive outcomes which are also likely?
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    And everytime Im out doing something socially or whatever, all i think is that its time Im not working towards changing my job. If i was to take up something in the evenings, thats time when I could be doing job applications or searching instead

    It sounds like you feel that changing your job is the most important thing at the moment. It's good to know where you want to focus. But I think that sometimes in practice different parts of life don't separate out that cleanly.

    I agree with NinaBallet about the value of volunteering, and I think that spreads to other things too. There are lots of things that can contribute to finding a job that you want, including having new ideas about what's available and what you'd like to do, feeling relaxed and confident enough to make strong applications, and having a clear enough head to make decisions. I wonder if doing things like socialising, fun activities, and things that take your mind off work might all contribute to the goal of finding a new job in their own way?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just enjoy this weekend

    Alexis, are you for a chance in the mood for weekend indoor dancing? You, your sister and some other friends can get an enjoyable dancing evening in your house on Saturday or Sunday. I am sure you have plenty lively songs to play as a newly DJ and a good dance floor to dance.
    Staying at home and vegging again must not be an option this time.
    It's nice to have the option to go out, but this time just stay in, just doing a different thing.
    Tomorrow will be for sure your chance to enjoy life outside.
    Enjoy this weekend!!!!!!!
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