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My mind going downhill
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My mental health is going very much downhill, I think, and I want to know what I can do to make things stop getting worse. I'm back to crying all the time and sometimes being unable to function like a normal person. Tonight I really want to cut myself. I've had an absolutely appalling year but I thought coming back to my parents' house would make everything easier, but it hasn't. My mind has slowed down and I forget everything which I have never done before. I'm sad and I don't really know why.
What do I do? I want to stop things getting even worse. I haven't had any NHS support since I was about 13. Should I go to the doctor? That seems a bit excessive. What can I do myself to try and take care of my mind? I'm supposed to be starting university in september but if I go like this then I think I'll fall apart completely within a couple of weeks so I want to make a real effort to sort myself out before then but I don't really know where to start.
What do I do? I want to stop things getting even worse. I haven't had any NHS support since I was about 13. Should I go to the doctor? That seems a bit excessive. What can I do myself to try and take care of my mind? I'm supposed to be starting university in september but if I go like this then I think I'll fall apart completely within a couple of weeks so I want to make a real effort to sort myself out before then but I don't really know where to start.
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one thing you could do is to contact student support at your uni so that you can arrange to meet with them before term starts to discuss any additional support they can give you. if you contact them now then things can be in place for when you get there. if you look at their website you should be able to see what they offer. you could ask to be referred to student counselling as soon as you arrive if you think that might help. it's always helpful for the support staff to know who you are and what you need before you start, so you know who to ask for and they know your name. the earlier you organise help the better. you might find that having a support plan in place for uni lifts some of the feelings you are having now, because you'll have the reassurance that it's sorted. it's likely that the transition to uni is effecting you, however much you have been looking forward to it.
in terms of what else you can do, I'd suggest doing something nice for yourself, even if it's just doing your nails or something. if you're not functioning very well then set yourself small goals for each day and reward yourself for achieving them. it's ok if your goal seems small, like going to the shop for a magazine, just as long as you get something positive done. try to notice yourself thinking unhelpful thoughts about what you can't do or can't manage, and deliberately correct yourself. if you were feeling physically poorly you'd take some time out and relax, so treat this just the same.
take care love x
I'm wondering whether you're feeling like this because maybe you don't have much to do at home so it becomes easier to ruminate? Just wondering because I know this has happened to me in the past. If this is the case would it be possible to try and get into some routine, e.g. once a week say go swimming, another day take a walk etc so you are at least getting out of the house?
It's really hard, but baby steps x
Hadn't thought of that, thanks. I've just sent them an email asking for an assessment at the beginning of term so with any luck something should be in place when I get there
In terms of doing nice things for myself, nothing feels nice. I've made myself some of my favourite cake but I'm just not interested in anything at all, not even food, which is weird for me. I have nothing at all to do here, apart from read and walk and think and sleep and internet and then do it all all over again. I live in a very very rural area and can't go anywhere without my parents driving me, but my dad's always doing other stuff and my mum's always at the hospital with my grandmother. I can literally go for days without talking to anyone. I'm trying to study because it's something that needs to be done but my mind feels like soup.
I don't know how to correct the bad thinking I do. Like this morning I accidentally trapped my finger in a drawer and inside of just getting over it like normal, I started crying and thinking about how stupid I am and how much I hate myself. Which I know is excessive, but the nasty bits of me are getting more shouty while the nice bit of my mind is getting smaller and smaller.
I spoke to the woman at the student counselling service and they said there's nothing they can't take any application or request from me until I'm enrolled, which is a shame because it means one more thing to do at the start of term.
what do i do?? my body aches so much and i'm burning
Sorry to hear you were feeling so scared the other night.
Did you manage to get any sleep after that? How was the rest of your weekend?
You asked earlier if you should see your GP, and I definitely think calling in would be worthwhile. Any assessment with a GP takes time and there might be different options and considerations, so the earlier you start talking to your doctor the sooner things might get better.
All the best
Shyboy
No, I stayed awake for that night and the next night because it was all too strange and scary. And then yesterday I donated blood and now I feel so tired and dizzy and awful (which I suppose is normal, but I don't think I have enough blood.)
I ought to make a doctor's appointment but I'm scared to do it. I don't really know what to say because I've been feeling generally 'off colour' physically for a month or so as well. Maybe I'm dying.
Why, what've I written that spammers would be into?
Well done.
This profile http://vbulletin.thesite.org/member.php/69742-fortepeople was replying to your post. I dunno if it was removed but looking at the profile, it's prob a spammer
That's really good to hear. Let us know how it goes
What is it that puts you off citalopram?
I'm just not that keen on the idea of any anti depressants. I should be able to control my own mind without chemical help. Also I'm a bit worried about the side effects.
Of course we're all different, but it was ok for me. Are you particularly edgy ? It's supposed to be quite good for anxiety.
I'm quite worried about side effects like terrible headaches and lethargy. Both of them are things that are already problems for me and make me feel awful in my mind already. I'm scared I'm going to make myself feel worse.
Yeah, I am very anxious, but I always have been since I was tiny, I think it's a controllable personality trait more than anything else. At the moment all I want is to stop feeling so sad and tired and incapable and lost. It would be nice if I could stop being so anxious, because sometimes I psyche myself up so much for the things I'm anxious about that I start imagining them and get them confused with real things, but at the moment I don't think it's overwhelming.
Thanks for replying, I feel a bit shit and confused so it's nice to talk to someone x
As far as I'm aware citalopram is meant to be activating more than sedating, but then again from personal experience that depends on the dose; on 40mg I was always exhausted but 30mg and below I've never had a problem. I have the most issue with changing dose or if I forget for a few days.
You don't have to take them if you don't feel comfortable with them, and no-one can stop that.
I think I'm probably going to take them. I won't be getting any talking support for ~5 months so I may as well see if I can make things better by myself, which I just don't have the motivation to do at the moment for whatever reason.
Just wanted to say I hope you're ok *hug*
If you want to talk about what happened, we're here for you - but only if you feel you can.
Sometimes when lots of bad things happen the only solution we can come up with is to blame ourselves, but please don't fall into that trap when you've got so much going for you.
Take care
I'm not really ok in the slightest. I want to talk about it but I feel disgusting and ashamed of myself and I know that everyone will be all 'It's not your fault do this or do that or call this helpline' or something but although they're saying that, they'll be thinking exactly the same about me as I am thinking about me.
Well I can't speak for the real life people you know, but here you definitely know that's not true.
Let's take a hypothetical example. Miss A goes out with a few friends, has a few drinkies and gets a tad merry. Mr B chats her up, they go back to his place. Mr B tries it on, Miss A says no, Mr B doesn't listen and has his way with her.
Now, I can't speak for everyone here, but the overwhelming majority would say it's not Miss A's fault and that she was taken advantage of.
I'm not saying you should talk about it on here, though you obviously can if you want, but maybe phone Samaritans ?