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I have problems... Two in fact!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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But i mean, do you really know this girl? Do you know why her kids were taken from her? Was it her fault? Do you know if the fact that somebody else took advantage of her when she was a child affects her ability to be in a relationship in any way, shape or form? Actually I cant believe that you're even using that as a reason NOT to go out with someone. Not talking to her sister, well again, everybody has family issues what the hell has that go to do with you? Bad breath - yes major turn off, offer her gum next time.
As I said, man up, recognise that her issues dont have to be your issues too, and even if they are, well if you like her enough it will be worth it. Actually you know what, it sounds like she can do better than you, or at least be with somebody not so judgmental.
As for the other girl, just ask her ffs, when it comes to things like this never rely on hearsay, find out for yourself
I'd like to point out that this isn't necessarily true. Polygamy is a legitimate and acceptable thing.
But in this instance I completely agree with you. FishyFrags - you need to work out whether it's more important to be with someone you actually like or to fuck wIth someone you know has a few issues and potential mental illness/ptsd (given what you've described I wouldn't think it unlikely) just because you think losing your virginity is this big deal thing that will solve all your life's problems.
You flit between girls because you think they're "fit" rather than actually getting to know them and learning about them. I'm not sure you can have more than a superficial attraction to someone if you can barely talk to her. This girl you've fingered - how well do you know her? Did you just do it because you've found someone who actually fancies you or because you actually like her?
This really isn't an issue of monogamy/polygamy though is it? He has a crush on girl (sorry, lass :yeees:) 2, they don't have any kind of relationship as far as i can tell, so what he did with girl (sorry, lass :yeees:) 1 isn't "wrong" in the sense that grace mentioned. It's wrong in so many other ways.....
so the rest of your post i totally agree with. Being with someone you don't fancy/like through desperation is a million times sadder than being a virgin....
You told a girl you'd just had sexual contact with that she made you feel sick. A girl you admittedly wouldn't have a relationship with. A girl who probably has mental health problems. When you think you want a relationship with someone else.
I'm all for ethical non-monogamy, it's pretty much how I operate, but the key word there is ethical. That doesn't mean messing with someone you don't want to be in a relationship with because you want to get your rocks off. That's just called being a dick.
Let me tell you something, from someone who has had a lot of sex with more a fair few people, it's not as great as you think it is. Especially if you don't have any actual connection or feelings with the person. I make a point of not sleeping with anyone I wouldn't have a relationship with if it were possible. Otherwise it's just empty and awful.
"We arranged to go on a walk again last week and she let me finger her"
What kind of walk was that?
I will provide you with some advice, though. You never need to ask someone if they are single. That's a bizarre question to ask. If you want to ask someone out for a drink or whatever, then you do that. Then, during the conversation and chit-chat which you engage in during your friendly evening out, if the person has an existing relationship, you will find out, without even asking the question. Thus, that problem is solved. You know how? By being friendly and normal, that's how.
In your situation, I would probably give up on the idea of a relationship with bad breath girl. Frankly, I think you have enough of your own problems (which you can't solve) that to even think about getting involved with someone with a long history of their own problems is crazy.
...not that my boyfriend at the time was a seedy twat or anything.
Anywho, I think a little tact and class might go a long way as well. The teeth thing has been discussed, but what really got me was telling her that if she had known you, her life would be better. From what you described, this girl is probably very fragile, vulnerable and a low enough self esteem already. Saying things like that will only break her more - not to mention it sounds extremely suspicious and worrisome on your part. It is those kinds of statements that are used to break and control women to keep them in a mans possession because "hey, without him, I am nothing, and a much worse of a person." While that may not have been your conscious meaning to it, as I said, it is a very suspect statement to say to anybody that you are in or intend to have a relationship with. I would think very carefully about the kinds of things you say to people before you say them.
Because the girl in question is (by the sounds of it) severely damaged and FishyFrags is (by the sounds of it) beyond desperate?
well yes. there are lots of other points in the post I could have picked up on apart from the walk thing but I have had a few ciders
I don't know why "fishy frags ferrari" is so hilarious, but I am dying right here.
catchy eh
She has been raped, has had her kids taken off her, takes legal highs. She has issues....surely you must accept that?
You fingered a girl who you now say makes you feel physically sick. Every single one of your posts is about "this lass" or finding a gf/being a virgin. You're desperate. Sorry if that is difficult to hear but that is how you come across.
your username used to be mr ferrari did it not? only a play on words
I think neddy is right. do not go out with somebody you say makes you feel physically sick just because you want a girlfriend. it's not right for her or you.
A cynical person (such as myself) might think that this girl has noticed your level of despair and is deploying a subtle play in order to extract money.
In answer to your question, no I'm not currently in a relationship, but I am fucking a few people. :yeees: