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Feeling really panicky and worried.

*BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
in Health & Wellbeing
Really not sure this thread will make any sense. I harmed last night and its quite sore and I feel really panicky about going to work. I have to leave any minute. I just feel worried that someone is gonna notice. I have a low mood and I didnt sleep much. I just hate myself. I wish I never did it. I wish I never started. I just wish I wasnt "me"
Just needed to get my thoughts out. :(

Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
" And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We wouldn't love you if you weren't you! X
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    AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    Miss_Riot wrote: »
    We wouldn't love you if you weren't you! X

    Hello Claire,

    I'm going to echo what Miss Riot has said above really, we love you, just the way you are :heart: It sounds as though last night was a very difficult night when it came to your moods, but I glad you reached out for support it's reassuring knowing you are okay :) - It's worrying when people notice self injury on you, and it's always been something I've worried about to, however, I bought myself these long sleeves http://www.diyaonline.com/ladies-wear/gloves-and-sleeves Just to be on my own safe side - But it's dependant on where you've self injured really. I'm assuming you know how to look after your cuts?

    Remember, were always here for you, Claire :)

    Best wishes,
    Angel
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hope you're okay chick, I'm here if you want to talk :)
    FrogsandRainbows.X
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can make sleeves really easily!
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Thank you for your lovely kind words. I love you guys.

    This is the worst I have felt in a very long time. I don't even know what to do. All I can think is harm and that will fix everything. :'( I don't have the words to express what is in my head.

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey
    I just posted on your other thread before reading this one - just wanted to give you some *hug*s and let you know we're here. I'm sorry to hear things have taken such a dip for you... keep talking here if it helps.
    Are there any distractions techniques that have helped you in the past that you could maybe try again?
    Take care :)
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I have found that distractions don't work for me much anymore. I don't know what to do. :'(

    I just feel like everything would be better if I wasn't around.
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Im so scared. I dont think I can carry on like this. Pretending :(

    I just can't. I am done :'(

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey,

    Thanks for posting, I know you were a bit worried about it but I hope being able to get your thoughts out helps. And you know that we're here for you :heart: and listening.

    How are you feeling today?

    I hope work was OK yesterday. It must be really difficult trying to manage how you're feeling with going to face people at work. I admire what you do anyway -it takes a lot of energy and patience!

    Keep talking and stay strong *hug*
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Erm dunno how I feel. :'(
    Work was ok. Gotta get on with it.

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Options
    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I am really struggling. I am harming everyday and even over things like just having a bit of a stressful day. I don't feel "with it" and feel like I am living in a bubble. It's horrible. At work I just get on with things and pretend I am fine, but I know that eventually pretending is going to catch up with me, and I am going to come crashing down. It has happened in the past. I can't talk to my manager about how things are, cos she has said in the past that I shouldn't let my mental health affect my job role. I feel at a loss as what to do. The only comfort is knowing I can come home and the end of the day and harm myself. I feel so guilty. I just want to feel "ok"

    Sorry.. :(
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is now the time to seek help?
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I wish I could. I know it's stupid for me not to seek any help. I am an idiot :'(
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Options
    AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    *BananaMonkey* wrote: »
    I wish I could. I know it's stupid for me not to seek any help. I am an idiot :'(

    You're not an idiot BananaMonkey, you're just struggling at the moment. Sometimes it's about debating what the out come of getting support would be maybe it's about doing a pros and cons list, and just making that appt without judgements?
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I dunno. Had the worst night ever just thinking over everything. Didnt sleep. Work should be interesting today.

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hey BananaMonkey, how are you doing? How was work today?
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Dunno really. Legs and feet are hurting and its making walking painful. I am drained from not sleeping very well. Meh. Work was okay thank you

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You need to talk to someone about getting some help!
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Is it possible to be in denial? I think everything is okay. I think I don't need any support. I feel bit brighter today. Just in some discomfort.

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Options
    ReenaReena Posts: 1,375 Wise Owl
    *BananaMonkey* wrote: »
    I know it's stupid for me not to seek any help. I am an idiot :'(

    Like Angel said you're not stupid.
    I didn't think there was a point in asking for help either, I thought there were others more deserving of it, that I wasn't worth helping, that I was just being ridiculous.
    Everyone needs a bit of support sometimes, we're not super human. Asking for help is a positive step that shows you want to make things better for yourself.
    Pm me anytime xx *hug*
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Yeah. I seem to be doing okay today. Trying to just keep busy. At work and stuff. I know this positivity wont last though.

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey BananaMonkey,
    Sorry to hear this, I hope your feeling ok. How have you been feeling? I want to echo what everyone on here has said. Have you tried contacting Tess http://www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk/tess-text-and-email-support-service
    even if you are not sure how to start talking a simply saying hello is enough, they always reply. I hope things are ok, do keep us updated.
    Take care of yourself.

    Sonia1
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    :'( generally can't do this anymore.
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you tried any of the suggestions to talk to anyone? I know you said a few days ago you were maybe in denial, maybe now is the time to try some of the links?

    Dp :heart:
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    The thing that I find so hard is, I go through thinking I can get help, but in the past I failed at that, and now every time I try I just think in my head, well I am just going to fail again so why am I even trying. I know that isn't a good way of thinking about it. I just can't stop the thoughts that make me not want to get help. I feel like I should deal with this on my own.

    I'm not making any sense. Sorry
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Options
    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Trying to take control of the situation, and sort my head out, and get better. I can't even manage that.
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Options
    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Argument has just made me feel really low, and just want to harm :( trying not to though.
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi BananaMonkey :wave:

    Just seeing how you are today as I can see from your thread you have been struggling lately.

    How do you feel since the argument you mentioned? Well done for having the courage to not harm *hug*

    purple_rain :heart:
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I am doing okay thanks.
    Just taking it day by day at the minute. Trying to keep busy and distract myself.

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Options
    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    My mood changes in such a short space of time :'(

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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