i am sorry

Former Member

i just want to say i am really sorry but really grateful for everything but i need to go

Tonight is the night!!! Goodbye all. Thanks for all the help and support! I really am grateful.... My boy is calling me... Im joining him tonight. Ill be with him tonight and forever. Goodbye. Love you all ♥ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :crying: :crying: :crying:

Former Member

im sorry to read this. Have you been thinking about this a long time. Do you have any family who can come and speak to you.

Do you not think things are likely to improve or are you not interested in things getting better.
Please keep talking xx

Former Member

SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »

im sorry to read this. Have you been thinking about this a long time. Do you have any family who can come and speak to you.

Do you not think things are likely to improve or are you not interested in things getting better.
Please keep talking xx

i have thought about it for a long time but i thought i could cope with out my boy being here but it shows i really cant cope im his mummy i should be up there looking after him not down here having fun. i just want my boy back

Former Member

what happened to your boy? Do you want to talk about it?

Former Member

SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »

what happened to your boy? Do you want to talk about it?

i miscarried. Neil would of been a year and 3 months today

Former Member

im sorry to hear that. It can be such a difficult thing to go through. How many weeks pregnant were you.

Have you had any support over it?

I have miscarried before, I was absolutely gutted. Really horrid. I feel for you.

There are support groups for people who have suffered baby loss.
This is one forum where I believe you could get a great deal of support if you want it
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage

Would you please give it a little bit more time before deciding what youre going to do?
Nothing can change what has happened, and noone can give you back your beautiful baby, but many people have managed to get through tragedies like this and have a happy and fulfilling life, and of course there may be more children in your future that will make you really happy if you give yourself a chance.

I do understand that its so hard to believe it at the moment though.
Please give yourself at least a few more days x

Former Member

I bet there are people here that need you and love you too.
I wouldn't know what to do to make you feel better, but I know that there are people who want you to stay.

Former Member

SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »

im sorry to hear that. It can be such a difficult thing to go through. How many weeks pregnant were you.

Have you had any support over it?

I have miscarried before, I was absolutely gutted. Really horrid. I feel for you.

There are support groups for people who have suffered baby loss.
This is one forum where I believe you could get a great deal of support if you want it
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage

Would you please give it a little bit more time before deciding what youre going to do?
Nothing can change what has happened, and noone can give you back your beautiful baby, but many people have managed to get through tragedies like this and have a happy and fulfilling life, and of course there may be more children in your future that will make you really happy if you give yourself a chance.

I do understand that its so hard to believe it at the moment though.
Please give yourself at least a few more days x

Thanks. I was 13 weeks. I havent had any support because I won't accept it. I just need to be with my baby boy I need to be looking after him.

Former Member

Do you feel worried about accepting support? What would accepting support mean to you?
Getting support does not mean forgetting your son or disrespecting him. You can look after him just as well from where you are. His soul will be just as present for you alive as it would dead, he will always be with you.
Is there any way you can commemorate the time you did have together? A special piece of jewellery, or a small tattoo maybe?

Former Member

SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »

Do you feel worried about accepting support? What would accepting support mean to you?
Getting support does not mean forgetting your son or disrespecting him. You can look after him just as well from where you are. His soul will be just as present for you alive as it would dead, he will always be with you.
Is there any way you can commemorate the time you did have together? A special piece of jewellery, or a small tattoo maybe?

It just feels like that if I accept help im showing people im weak and I dont want that. Also it would mean that I am trying to forget him if I have help. I was thinking of having a tattoo but I dont know

**helen**

MrsMcelderry wrote: »

It just feels like that if I accept help im showing people im weak and I dont want that.

*hug* This is a common belief. Looking to get support is the opposite of weakness though - it's a strong thing to do because it's a sign that someone is taking responsibility in their life and are willing to see a future for themselves. That takes courage when you've experienced something as heartbreaking as a miscarriage.

What could you have on your tattoo?

Former Member

**helen** wrote: »

*hug* This is a common belief. Looking to get support is the opposite of weakness though - it's a strong thing to do because it's a sign that someone is taking responsibility in their life and are willing to see a future for themselves. That takes courage when you've experienced something as heartbreaking as a miscarriage.

What could you have on your tattoo?

I cant accept help I have a wall and thought of accepting help the wall comes up if that makes sense and im not sure really.

**helen**

It does make sense. It might be helpful to try and understand what the wall relates to - lots of people have barriers to accessing help and if you start to believe that the wall is real, as opposed to being linked to fears and lack of confidence, then it can be much harder to take steps forward - even little ones.

What is your wall made of?

Former Member

People arent going to think youre weak for hurting over losing a much wanted baby. Knowing when you need help and accepting it is actually a really strong and positive thing. Get well again for the sake of your baby and his future brothers and sisters that he can help look down on and protect in the future.

Its not trying to forget him, its accepting that you wont forget him but things will become easier.
Youre already making the first step by talking so honestly and bravely x

Former Member

the wall that you have built that prevents you from accepting help. Do you know where it comes from and what its about?

Former Member

**helen** wrote: »

It does make sense. It might be helpful to try and understand what the wall relates to - lots of people have barriers to accessing help and if you start to believe that the wall is real, as opposed to being linked to fears and lack of confidence, then it can be much harder to take steps forward - even little ones.

What is your wall made of?

im not sure its just when i think about getting help i clam up

Former Member

SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »

People arent going to think youre weak for hurting over losing a much wanted baby. Knowing when you need help and accepting it is actually a really strong and positive thing. Get well again for the sake of your baby and his future brothers and sisters that he can help look down on and protect in the future.

Its not trying to forget him, its accepting that you wont forget him but things will become easier.
Youre already making the first step by talking so honestly and bravely x

thats the thing he wont be able to look down at his brothers and sisters as ive been told i cant carry full term

Former Member

SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »

the wall that you have built that prevents you from accepting help. Do you know where it comes from and what its about?

no i dont i do have low self esteem and lack of confidence

Former Member

MrsMcelderry wrote: »

thats the thing he wont be able to look down at his brothers and sisters as ive been told i cant carry full term

who told you this, and how can they tell? Most people who miscarry go on to have succesful pregnancies

Former Member

SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »

who told you this, and how can they tell? Most people who miscarry go on to have succesful pregnancies

my doctor then done tests after tests because i miscarried twice in space of a few months. they told me my body cant take it

Former Member

I think you should get a second opinion

Former Member

SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »

I think you should get a second opinion

i have and they all have said the same.

Aurora

My mother had 2 Mis-carriages in a space of a few months to, but also had another 5 Successful Pregnancies...

Former Member

thanks everyone for being so kind and supportive but this is something i need to do. i need to show people that i am not a bad mum. i need to be with Neil. thank you and goodbye. xxxxxxxxx

Former Member

I would really recommend taking yourself to hospital if you are feeling suicidal *hug*

Former Member

Broken-Angel wrote: »

I would really recommend taking yourself to hospital if you are feeling suicidal *hug*

i cant go to hospital if i do they will stop me.

Former Member

MrsMcelderry wrote: »

i cant go to hospital if i do they will stop me.

Would you be able to phone the Samaritans? I think it'll help you to talk this over with someone

Former Member

Accipiter wrote: »

Call 08457 90 90 90 for the Samaritans - they won't stop you, they'll just listen to you. It is most definately worth having a go calling them.

:yes: Please phone them and tell them how you're feeling, they're very lovely.

Former Member

im still here. i was speaking to someone from here and she gave me a link to read something and it has changed how i feel i might still feel suicidal but it feels like i can cope with it im just finding it hard and tbh i dont really want to die i was reaching out for help. i am really sorry for worrying you all. xx

Former Member

im really glad to read this this morning xx

Former Member

I'm so glad to hear that your feelings have changed this morning, MrsMcelderry, and I'm glad you found something which has helped you. Are you feeling like you may be able to get some support too?

I wonder if you've heard of The Miscarriage Association? They have a helpline - perhaps you could give them a call as a first step? You could do it in complete confidence so no one else would need to know. They are completely dedicated to helping people in your position so they will understand what you're going through.

Tel: 01924 200 799
email: info@miscarriageassociation.org.uk

There are some very personal remembrances on their website too, which you might find helpful or even inspirational. Some people have written poems or prose and they also have a Forget-me-not meadow and they arrange Saying goodbye services in cathedrals across Britain. I know that may sound very final, but sometimes it is hard to properly grieve when you have miscarried, and some kind of remembrance like this can help you to properly mark your baby's existence but also enable you to move on, without forgetting.

Just some ideas for you to think about - if none of them feel right for you then that's totally understandable.

Take care *hug*