fallen in love with my driving instructor

Former Member

hiya my name is gina and basically the story is that i have a driving instructor called Andrew and the moment i met him he made my heart skip and the more an more i seen him the more i fell in love with him i sent him a poem to his email yesterday and i got a reply which was
Hi Gina,

Thanks for your honesty, and I was a bit concerned when you sent a text to me earlier today. Of course I am still happy to be your instructor. I hope we can keep it just as a professional relationship and get you through your test soon.

Andrew

since i have had this email ive done nothing but cry and feel so low. i have a driving lesson with him in the next few days and im really scared what should i do? if anyone has been in this situation please help me thanks in advance xxx

Former Member

Welcome to the site. Well done for posting . Have u tried speaking to him about and tell him how ur feel about it or tried speakin to ur famliey about it. Its nateral to fall in love with someone u like

U could try and phoneing the samations about ur feeling low

08457909090 they will be able to support u about ur feelings. Ur welcome to post on here to. We are here for u

Former Member

Hiya, thanks for replying to me so quickly. I can't speak to my family they would just laugh in my face and tell me to grow uo. But I cant help the way I feel. I wont speak to anyone on the phone as I know they will call somebody to come out and see me and I dont want that. Xx

Former Member

I think you'd be better off switching instructors tbh.

Former Member

Ballerina wrote: »

I think you'd be better off switching instructors tbh.

I couldnt change instructors id be lost and wouldn't be good or anything and id be thinking about him all the time.

Former Member

could u try and speak him about it

Former Member

I could but what do I say how do I say it?

Former Member

MrsMcelderry wrote: »

I couldnt change instructors id be lost and wouldn't be good or anything and id be thinking about him all the time.

You wouldn't be lost, obviously you can already drive somewhat. And the more you see him the worse it'll be

Former Member

Ballerina wrote: »

You wouldn't be lost, obviously you can already drive somewhat. And the more you see him the worse it'll be

I would be lost If I didnt see him every week. Yeah I can I have failed 6 practical driving tests. Yeah I get it will be worse the more I see him but it would be worse if I didnt see him if that makes sense.x

Former Member

MrsMcelderry wrote: »

I would be lost If I didnt see him every week. Yeah I can I have failed 6 practical driving tests. Yeah I get it will be worse the more I see him but it would be worse if I didnt see him if that makes sense.x

The fact you're saying you be lost if you didn't see him every week just shows how unhealthy this is. If you're sending him poems and crying over him and thinking like this then continuing to see him is only going to make things worse. It puts him in an awkward position too.

Former Member

I had a friend who had a fling with her instructor then she found out he was doing the same with other people...ended in tears..

I suggest changing instructors

Former Member

Emmalee wrote: »

I had a friend who had a fling with her instructor then she found out he was doing the same with other people...ended in tears..

I suggest changing instructors

I couldn't change no way. I hope ur friend is okaii. Xx

Former Member

I think the point that others have raised about it being awkward, is a very valid point. You could find it difficult to concentrate, in order to learn and pass, if you are concentrating on him like that during lessons. Also, what would you do if he decided he couldnt teach you anymore if you carried on like this?

Former Member

He's made it clear that you must have a professional relationship. I don't know how old you are but him getting involved with young girls would not be a wise career move for him.

You need to move on. You're not deliberately failing tests so you can carry on with his tuition are you?

Former Member

hes probably married. Leave him alone.

Former Member

G-Raffe wrote: »

I think the point that others have raised about it being awkward, is a very valid point. You could find it difficult to concentrate, in order to learn and pass, if you are concentrating on him like that during lessons. Also, what would you do if he decided he couldnt teach you anymore if you carried on like this?

When im on lessons with him im completely different

Former Member

Arctic Roll wrote: »

He's made it clear that you must have a professional relationship. I don't know how old you are but him getting involved with young girls would not be a wise career move for him.

You need to move on. You're not deliberately failing tests so you can carry on with his tuition are you?

I know I need to move on but its not that easy and im 18 and he is 32 I know exactly what sort of reaction im guna get now ive said his age. No I am not deliberately failing so I can carry seeing him for lessons I really wanna pass. X

Former Member

SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »

hes probably married. Leave him alone.

He isnt married he is single.

Former Member

If you can only drive with him then it's not that surprising you are failing tests. I suggest you change instructors to get used driving with other people.

Former Member

Carriage Return wrote: »

If you can only drive with him then it's not that surprising you are failing tests. I suggest you change instructors to get used driving with other people.

I can drive with other people because I had a driving instructor before Andrew. I cant change thats the problem I couldnt deal with it and I know he wouldnt be happy either. X

Former Member

I don't think he'd mind.

Former Member

look at the email he has sent you. you're embarrassing him, does this not make you feel a bit stupid? he has clearly said he wants to keep things professional so either get a new instructor or accept nothing is ever gonna happen.

Former Member

What you should do is go to your next lesson, and try to learn to drive.

Try not to be embarrassed at what has happened, he's almost certainly had it before - regular meetings with someone dedicating their time to another in a one-to-one and physically close space can lead to emotional feelings developing. I'm sure if he is as professional as his reply to you he will do everything to put you at your ease.

See how you feel after the lesson. If you think you can cope, carry on having lessons with him, if you can't, switch.

Former Member

yeah do u not think i havent read the email over an over again. i know nothing is going to happen but i cant just switch my feelings off. he isnt embarrassed at all and no why would i feel stupid???

Former Member

Carriage Return wrote: »

What you should do is go to your next lesson, and try to learn to drive.

Try not to be embarrassed at what has happened, he's almost certainly had it before - regular meetings with someone dedicating their time to another in a one-to-one and physically close space can lead to emotional feelings developing. I'm sure if he is as professional as his reply to you he will do everything to put you at your ease.

See how you feel after the lesson. If you think you can cope, carry on having lessons with him, if you can't, switch.

i find it hard to do lessons now before i told him its just his voice and accent its so sweet. i couldnt switch at all thanks for replying and trying to understand what its like. xx

Former Member

Why can't you switch?

Former Member

yellowseahorse wrote: »

Why can't you switch?

because i would feel lost not seeing him every week i know it sounds stupid but i cant help the way i feel..

Former Member

Don't make any decisions now.

At some point you're going to stop seeing him, either when you pass the test, when you choose to switch to another instructor, or he decides he's not able to give you the help you need to learn to drive.

you might find some help in the articles theSite put together on unrequited love and coping with a crush

Former Member

MrsMcelderry wrote: »

yeah do u not think i havent read the email over an over again. i know nothing is going to happen but i cant just switch my feelings off. he isnt embarrassed at all and no why would i feel stupid???

if I had sent a poem to somebody I had feelings for and they replied with that I would feel silly for sending it! I think it is embarrassing for him, you've put him in an awkward position, and by the way that he said he was 'concerned' about the text you sent him earlier he sounds a bit embarrassed.

Former Member

Carriage Return wrote: »

Don't make any decisions now.

At some point you're going to stop seeing him, either when you pass the test, when you choose to switch to another instructor, or he decides he's not able to give you the help you need to learn to drive.

you might find some help in the articles theSite put together on unrequited love and coping with a crush

he has said that he wants to carry on being my instructor so im hoping it stays that way and yeah i know im going to stop seeing him once ive passed but i know i have to then. thanks ill have a look at them now x

Former Member

FireyFirenze wrote: »

if I had sent a poem to somebody I had feelings for and they replied with that I would feel silly for sending it! I think it is embarrassing for him, you've put him in an awkward position, and by the way that he said he was 'concerned' about the text you sent him earlier he sounds a bit embarrassed.

i dont feel silly at all because i had to tell him i couldnt hide it anymore. yeah but my text was a bit strange thats why but i explained to him about the text.