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how do you cope? (trigger maybe?)
I dot like to be open about this, but i've been told i'm a very hateful person. I'm also very lethargic and truthfully, I take several motrin to make myself sleep for long periods of time (by several i mean 10-12.) my self harm is down to a minimum, it takes too much energy.When i'm anything but happy, i listen to music, like papa roach when i'm mad, system of a down when i'm numb and basically la dispute when i'm sad. i've tried everything from screaming into a pillow, excersice, boxing class (thanks, my nose has been broken twice.) the only time i'm ever really okay is when i'm listening to music or meditating. I also keep flashing back to a spell of Sun Stroke i had a while back, where my drunken cousin (i was left hoome alone with him) got on the boat, beached it and made me help him while my legs are collapsing under me, im dry heaving and hallucinating. he yells at me the whole time, telling me tw swim in 50 foot deep water out to the boat to bring him a beer. i almost died several times, once slipping underwater, othertimes driving hme sick,zonig out on the road adn the hallucinatoins. how do i get it out of my head? how do you cope with traumatic events? is there anything in specific wrong with me? my preveious shrink said i may be schizo, i dunno.