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how do you cope? (trigger maybe?)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I dot like to be open about this, but i've been told i'm a very hateful person. I'm also very lethargic and truthfully, I take several motrin to make myself sleep for long periods of time (by several i mean 10-12.) my self harm is down to a minimum, it takes too much energy.When i'm anything but happy, i listen to music, like papa roach when i'm mad, system of a down when i'm numb and basically la dispute when i'm sad. i've tried everything from screaming into a pillow, excersice, boxing class (thanks, my nose has been broken twice.) the only time i'm ever really okay is when i'm listening to music or meditating. I also keep flashing back to a spell of Sun Stroke i had a while back, where my drunken cousin (i was left hoome alone with him) got on the boat, beached it and made me help him while my legs are collapsing under me, im dry heaving and hallucinating. he yells at me the whole time, telling me tw swim in 50 foot deep water out to the boat to bring him a beer. i almost died several times, once slipping underwater, othertimes driving hme sick,zonig out on the road adn the hallucinatoins. how do i get it out of my head? how do you cope with traumatic events? is there anything in specific wrong with me? my preveious shrink said i may be schizo, i dunno.:confused:

Comments

  • ReenaReena Posts: 1,375 Wise Owl
    There is nothing wrong with you.
    Coping with traumatic events is never easy. There are many different ways to help make it easier, but they'll always be with you. As a former self harmer myself, I still think about things that have happened, thoughts and feelings that have brought me to my lowest point in life. But I face them, I try to understand what happened, and look at the truth. Not what I believed back then.
    For example, I was told I was ugly and worthless, stupid and a freak. Then when others called me kind, caring, pretty, I would never believe it was true. Still not sure about the pretty thing! But I look back now and see I wasn't ugly, worthless and stupid. I am a freak :crazyeyes but I've learnt to cope with the fact I'm different, so it doesn't get to me when people don't understand me very well.
    The best way to cope with traumatic memories in my opinion, is to face them, talk about them. Then you can start to heal. I hope this helps xx.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you very much, i have talked about some of the things that happened and especially that day. My mom dosent belive me when i tell her how frightening it was and how aggressive he was. She used to be a nurse, i thought she'd understand. oh, did i mention how badly crying irritates her? If anybody cries, she calls them manipulative ****** and screams and shouts, (as if that's going to make it better!!!) well, she's always calling me a worthless bitch, and my boyfriend keeps telling me i'm so perfect so that's how i know she's full of it. they talked to my cousin, he was supposed to apologise. I'm still waiting, after five months.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ookay so alot has changed in the past couple days, i'm REALLY depressed and lethargic. i cant even get out of it , talking to my boyfriend just reminds me about the distance and i want to cut so badly. i tried meditating, it makes me hurt more inside.
  • ReenaReena Posts: 1,375 Wise Owl
    Try my breathing exercise, it always helps clear my head when I start feeling worthless and useless, then I can start thinking, see the facts. That I'm not so bad as human beings go, and there are much worse people out there taking up space in the world, so no reason why I can't either.

    I take a deep breath through the nose, and let it out as slowly and for as long as possible through the mouth. Let your mind go blank, don't think about anything but your breathing.
    Some find it helps to count as they breath out.

    What do you think about when you meditate? My counselor tried another technique on me too. It was imagining a place, any place, real or fiction. A safe place to just close my eyes and go to. Maybe when you meditate, put on some calming music, close your eyes and think of somewhere, picture a place you would like to go, where you feel comfortable.
    Hope I helped, thinking of you xx.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you very much, i have talked about some of the things that happened and especially that day. My mom dosent belive me when i tell her how frightening it was and how aggressive he was. She used to be a nurse, i thought she'd understand. oh, did i mention how badly crying irritates her? If anybody cries, she calls them manipulative ****** and screams and shouts, (as if that's going to make it better!!!) well, she's always calling me a worthless bitch, and my boyfriend keeps telling me i'm so perfect so that's how i know she's full of it. they talked to my cousin, he was supposed to apologise. I'm still waiting, after five months.

    I sort of know how u feel about the whole mum thing mine I the least supportive person when I found out that my nan had a matter of weeks to live the first thing she said to me when we were on r way home was don't go cutting ur self will u and she sees crying as a weekness she will just tell me to stop being a whimp or that I need to grow up and get a grip but I am starting to except the fact its just how she is .
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