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Little to no sex at all... I don't know what to do...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This is going to sound horribly pathetic but I have been with my boyfriend for over 10 months now and our sex life isn't the same as it used to be. I understand complacency and how things could get old (although I do try to spice things up as much as I can) but I'm really starting to get worried. I ask my bf, lets call him Jim, why he hasn't seemed in the mood lately and he tells me "I just don't want to." I'm beginning to feel a bit neglected and unnoticed in almost all aspects of our relationship. He works from 8pm-4am and I work from 1pm-10pm which means we hardly ever see eachother (even though we live together now). There is no romance, little to no sex (and sadly I haven't received oral sex for close to 6 months now), but there is still love and adoration for eachother. I never used to be the relationship type so I guess you could say I was the kind of girl who got a bit of meaningless sex from random partners (always safe sex though) and it was always exciting. Now that I've settled down and have the one person I love I'm unsure of how exactly I'm supposed to bring the fun back into our sex life so that it's not just the same thing over and over again... help!!!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the only thing i could probably think of, is seriously sitting and having a chat with him... or suprise him early on morning or late one night with a blow job- that ought to put the mood back in him....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The problem with the blowjob thing is that he doesn't *really* enjoy them - not enough to make him want to jump on top of me and go for it...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Only 10 months together and your already sleeping together? Of course if you have a rushed fling like this, they always cool down just as quick as they start.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by kza:
    Only 10 months together and your already sleeping together? Of course if you have a rushed fling like this, they always cool down just as quick as they start.

    I didn't think you Germans were that sheepish about sex, you made it seem from your other posts that you were up for it 24 hours a day.
    I think you just need to talk to him, but not all lads are sex mad you know. Yes I know, I dont understand it either.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah there was a little sarcasm there, but theres 2 types of relationships right? Sex from the start ones, and love ones.

    One day I will be old enough for the latter <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Centurylink

    We have an article here that may be useful: http://www.thesite.org/sex/general_sex/mismatched_sex_drives.html
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, I tried to talk to my bf about our sex life last night and he said he felt that at first he didn't want to talk about it with me because he was afraid he would upset me. I guess he just isn't quite as interested in sex as I am. Our relationship didn't start with sex, and luckily we were best friends before the relationship ever started so we can laugh about most problems that aren't critical. He did mention that things weren't as spicey as far as sex is concerned and that he wants to know what he should do to make things fun again so I guess we are going to work on that. What would you guys recommend to liven up the sex life (keeping in mind that he isn't that adventurous)...?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its fun
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