i asked him out this was the response....

Former Member

Ok i know ive left it too late but would like to know what peolpe think of the response i got off this guy... who i asked out.

reply I got was I'm sortof started seeing someone I'd love to other than that and im not in town that often till i move down ( he lives another part of the country)

if im honest id love to if not for that and then mentioned he might move down in may.

Former Member

He's with someone else.

The "I'd love to otherwise" is just him trying to keep you interested on of the off chance it doesn't work out with the someone. He's basically playing you.

Leave him to it. If he's interested, eventually he'll come running.

Former Member

Yea what he said. Whether he is actually seeing someone else or not, the fact that he said that means he's not interested. sorry

Former Member

Lexi99 wrote: »

Yea what he said. Whether he is actually seeing someone else or not, the fact that he said that means he's not interested. sorry

said what that hes sortof seeing someone?

Former Member

Yea. He is either telling the truth, or is just saying that to let you down gently.

Former Member

Eg nothing is going to happen.

Former Member

G-Raffe wrote: »

Eg nothing is going to happen.

u dont know that as hes supposed to be moving down in may

Former Member

But the fact is he's said 'He Is With Someone', hence, he cant be with you

*Holly*

Hey jacobs_gal

Firstly - well done for asking him out! That can take serious guts and it's great to do - even if you don't get the result you want at least you know where you stand and can move on.

Unfortunately, even though your fellow board users have already spelt it out for you, it seems you're not quite able to let this guy go even though he's told you he's with somebody else.

We're not mindreaders here at TheSite and therefore can't definitely tell you he's NOT into you, but the signs he's given are pretty clear. Although we can't accurately decypher man-text, here are some questions you might want to ask yourself to help you get a bit more clarity/perhaps closure on the situation...

- It sounds like you're maybe letting the guy have all the power in this situation. Do you really want to be with someone who'se not entirely sure if he wants to be with you? Wouldn't you rather be with someone who doesn't leave you guessing? And also has no problem telling you how lucky he considers himself to be to have you in his life?

- If this guy is in another relationship, how do you feel about the fact he's texting you with slightly-suggestive comments such as "other than that I would love to". How would you feel if you were his new girlfriend in this situation? Is a guy who sends suggestive texts to other girls when he's in a relationship really someone you want to be with?

These are just questions with no right answers to get you thinking. As I said, it's great you took control and asked him out, it just might be worth keeping that control and considering looking for someone who doens't leave you with so many questions.

Hope that helps.

Holly

Former Member

G-Raffe wrote: »

Eg nothing is going to happen.

*i.e.

e.g. = for example
i.e. = in other words

Sorry, really bugs me.

Former Member

*Holly* wrote: »

Hey jacobs_gal

Firstly - well done for asking him out! That can take serious guts and it's great to do - even if you don't get the result you want at least you know where you stand and can move on.

Unfortunately, even though your fellow board users have already spelt it out for you, it seems you're not quite able to let this guy go even though he's told you he's with somebody else.

We're not mindreaders here at TheSite and therefore can't definitely tell you he's NOT into you, but the signs he's given are pretty clear. Although we can't accurately decypher man-text, here are some questions you might want to ask yourself to help you get a bit more clarity/perhaps closure on the situation...

- It sounds like you're maybe letting the guy have all the power in this situation. Do you really want to be with someone who'se not entirely sure if he wants to be with you? Wouldn't you rather be with someone who doesn't leave you guessing? And also has no problem telling you how lucky he considers himself to be to have you in his life?

- If this guy is in another relationship, how do you feel about the fact he's texting you with slightly-suggestive comments such as "other than that I would love to". How would you feel if you were his new girlfriend in this situation? Is a guy who sends suggestive texts to other girls when he's in a relationship really someone you want to be with?

These are just questions with no right answers to get you thinking. As I said, it's great you took control and asked him out, it just might be worth keeping that control and considering looking for someone who doens't leave you with so many questions.

Hope that helps.

Holly

heres a few things i would like to point out.... and yes i knw but he said he sortof has started seeing someone not the same as being in a relationship or actually dating....

he approached me in the beginning

i dont really find him saying look i dont live in the same country as u and im sortof starting seeing someone but then say if not for that id love to is hardly suggestive

Former Member

I'm sorry to break it to you, but if he wanted to be with you he would have said "yes" to you, which he has not done. I will say this only once more and hope it sinks in (because you have ignored most other advice in this thread), you are reading too much into things and seeing stuff which may not be there. You appear to be making things up in your head, and likely not wanting to give up on a guy who doesn't want you in his life in the same way you want him in yours.

I might seem harsh in saying that, but if you were me, what would you say to yourself if you actually read through this thread again?

Former Member

G-Raffe wrote: »

I'm sorry to break it to you, but if he wanted to be with you he would have said "yes" to you, which he has not done. I will say this only once more and hope it sinks in (because you have ignored most other advice in this thread), you are reading too much into things and seeing stuff which may not be there. You appear to be making things up in your head, and likely not wanting to give up on a guy who doesn't want you in his life in the same way you want him in yours.

I might seem harsh in saying that, but if you were me, what would you say to yourself if you actually read through this thread again?

i get what youre saying but im also saying he is saying he likes me but theres factors at the moment he said to me TWICE i would love to if not for that.... when asked about going for a drink that isnt no i dont want ot date u

he livess in west mids way im here and its a 2 and a hf hour commute hes hardly going to choose me who he probs would only see once a fortnight over a girl he can just see there

Former Member

jacobs_gal wrote: »

he livess in west mids way im here and its a 2 and a hf hour commute hes hardly going to choose me who he probs would only see once a fortnight over a girl he can just see there

People don't choose their partners based on commuting time.....

Former Member

yellowseahorse wrote: »

People don't choose their partners based on commuting time.....

no but hes hardly going to choose someone hes only going ot see one a fortnight if hes lucky till he moves down over someone who is just there!

Former Member

So you're hoping that once he moves he'll suddenly dump her and go out with you?

Ok 1) its unlikely that will happen if he actually likes the girl he's with and 2) IF he does, that means hes choosing his partners for their convenience. Do you want to be with someone like that?

Former Member

Sounds like he's not interested unfortunately. But at least he tells you straight away and doesn't try to hide that he has met someone else.

Former Member

frankipanda wrote: »

*i.e.

e.g. = for example
i.e. = in other words

Sorry, really bugs me.

They're such elegant words in their unabbreviated form...exempli gratia and id est...