Has she lost interest??

Former Member

This is gonna be long one so bare with me

I'm not sure if this girl has been busy or has just totally lost interest in me.

A few months back she randomly texted me so we started talking a bit. She invited me over to try some cheesecake she made and we watched a movie after, was a short visit. few weeks later she invited me to hang out again for dinner and movie and again a few weeks later. I didn't make any moves on her because I just couldn't read her body language etc.

Between the meetings I had texted her a few times but conversations never seemed to go anywhere, so wasn't sure where things were going. she had likely already knew i kind of liked her, as some of my friends were being immature over facebook, since she had called me her "secret lover" on text one time.

Anyway I had asked her to go to a christmas dance but had cancelled on her a day after, as i had a problem with the organisers of the ball (who she is friends with). so i apologized to her a few days after saying i'd make it up to her, and take her out to cinema.
Two days before we had planned to go to the cinema she had cancelled on me but suggest to go to a christmas dinner with some friends on another day. I didn't go because I had to work, so I suggested we could reschedule the cinema meeting or a dinner with friends another time. Her texts then became quite short and blunt compared to from before.

I don't know if this made things worse but the day we were meant to meet, i was out with some friends instead and my friend had texted her from my phone saying i had feelings, though she knew it wasnt me.

but she had texted me the other day and asked for some advice on her car so i advised and after i tried to keep a convo going but she was being quite blunt and short with her texts again, I don't know if she was busy or just trying to brush me off after getting the info she wanted so i never texted her back. Is she just not interested anymore? would there be anyway of her being interested again?

What do you guys think? Thanks

Former Member

My feelings from that is that she didnt have a big interest in you in the first place.

She must of had an interest in you to invite you over initially but if she wasnt giving off any signs then that is not encouraging, perhaps she was shy? I dont know.

It seems you had long intervals between seeing each other, are you interested in her?

Maybe she doesnt know if you like her, maybe she was testing the water (she baked you cheesecake man)

You say she "likely" knew you liked her because of your immature fiends on facebook, that is sad! and a turnoff!

If you like her then it is your responsibility to let her know, show her yourself.

On the day you were suppose to meet and your friend text her, did you still actually meet her?

You have put no effort into anything here and you keep cancelling on her, I think she has lost interest and i think its your fault.

But... I think everyone gets a second chance (and in some cases a third)

If you like her you need to work hard at it now and show her you want to be with her and lose the stupid friends (how can you allow a friend to text her from your phone)

For the record, dont talk to your mates about things that go on between you two...

Think about what you want and try and get it, good luck.
:thumb:

Former Member

bettyboo wrote: »

My feelings from that is that she didnt have a big interest in you in the first place.

She must of had an interest in you to invite you over initially but if she wasnt giving off any signs then that is not encouraging, perhaps she was shy? I dont know.

It seems you had long intervals between seeing each other, are you interested in her?

Maybe she doesnt know if you like her, maybe she was testing the water (she baked you cheesecake man)

You say she "likely" knew you liked her because of your immature fiends on facebook, that is sad! and a turnoff!

If you like her then it is your responsibility to let her know, show her yourself.

On the day you were suppose to meet and your friend text her, did you still actually meet her?

You have put no effort into anything here and you keep cancelling on her, I think she has lost interest and i think its your fault.

But... I think everyone gets a second chance (and in some cases a third)

If you like her you need to work hard at it now and show her you want to be with her and lose the stupid friends (how can you allow a friend to text her from your phone)

For the record, dont talk to your mates about things that go on between you two...

Think about what you want and try and get it, good luck.
:thumb:

Thanks for your reply. The phone bit was because I left my phone lying around, and no I didn't see her that day as she has basically cancelled me on the Monday as we were meant to be meeting on the Wednesday but she had asked me to go to this dinner on the Thursday which I couldnt attend as I had work (it was all last minute). So I had really just cancelled on her once.

Though she has seemed to lose interest I feel that I am interested lol. But when I do text her she really doesn't talk much so I don't really know what kind of approach to take. She really doesn't have much to say back. I obviously didn't want to go flat out and tell her that I liked her if you know what I mean.

Former Member

Oh i see what you mean now when you said "the day we were suppose to meet"

I didnt realise that was the previous cancelled day i thought it was another time and you went out with your mates instead.

Is it her charector to "not say much"? Is she a shy person generally or do you feel your getting her cold shoulder?

Id say try phoning rather than texting and ask her out on a date, ask if she wants to go to bowling or something fun and see what happens.

Former Member

Although I think there is something there and perhaps is worth persuing, sometimes people forget that guys and girls can just be friends and can enjoy each others company and cheesecake, without having to necessarily have romantic involvement.

Former Member

G-Raffe
Although I think there is something there and perhaps is worth persuing, sometimes people forget that guys and girls can just be friends and can enjoy each others company and cheesecake, without having to necessarily have romantic involvement.

You are absolutely right and its worthwhile chucking that in there.

I was just thinking from my point of view, I would never bake a cheesecake for a man and invite him over to watch a film if i was not interested in him or i wasnt considering starting something with him.

I dont have close male friends and never have had close male friends apart from a partner, but thats just me!

You need to see how the land lies yourself

Good luck

Former Member

bettyboo wrote: »

Oh i see what you mean now when you said "the day we were suppose to meet"

I didnt realise that was the previous cancelled day i thought it was another time and you went out with your mates instead.

Is it her charector to "not say much"? Is she a shy person generally or do you feel your getting her cold shoulder?

Id say try phoning rather than texting and ask her out on a date, ask if she wants to go to bowling or something fun and see what happens.

Yeah she can be talkative but then again she isn't. Like the second night was us just chattin about life in general. But even though like by IM or by text she seems more blunt than usual.

When she asked for help about her car. She sent a huge essay but after that she just didn't seem like she wanted to continue texting or anything.

And as someone mentioned, I would rather know her more as a friend than jump straight to it and rush in to things. As ive known her for a while doesn't mean I actually know her inside out.

I'll see how it goes for now as I know she is back at work after the Xmas period.

Thanks for the advice folks though

Former Member

So she could be making the effort for you only when she needs you for something?

Former Member

G-Raffe wrote: »

So she could be making the effort for you only when she needs you for something?

Yeah I was thinking that when she randomly texted me a huge text asking what can she do etc. see how things go really

Former Member

Hi lostguy28!

Welcome to the boards :wave:

It's always a little tricky to know what someone wants unless it's straight forward. There could be a few possibilities for why she is texting you less or short messages. Perhaps she is playing it cool? When you were invited over and you weren't sure of what she wanted, therefore did not make a move, this could have led her to be unsure of what you want?

It's up to you whether you want to be straight and tell her you like her and want more than friendship. It could put an end to all the questions and perhaps could help move the situation further? Whether she is interested or not, at least you were the honest one!

Perhaps starting fresh rather than focusing on all the cancelled dates previously to today could help. Pretend none of the confusion happened and ask her out straight? A proper date. See how she reacts and this might give you a better clue. Also looking at her body language when you are together can help

Keep posting and do let us know how you get on good luck!

Former Member

christele wrote: »

Hi lostguy28!

Welcome to the boards :wave:

It's always a little tricky to know what someone wants unless it's straight forward. There could be a few possibilities for why she is texting you less or short messages. Perhaps she is playing it cool? When you were invited over and you weren't sure of what she wanted, therefore did not make a move, this could have led her to be unsure of what you want?

It's up to you whether you want to be straight and tell her you like her and want more than friendship. It could put an end to all the questions and perhaps could help move the situation further? Whether she is interested or not, at least you were the honest one!

Perhaps starting fresh rather than focusing on all the cancelled dates previously to today could help. Pretend none of the confusion happened and ask her out straight? A proper date. See how she reacts and this might give you a better clue. Also looking at her body language when you are together can help

Keep posting and do let us know how you get on good luck!

Thanks for the feedback well I kind of texted her a few days back but she ended up not texting back, she was more talkative this time round though. Maybe busy as she's back at work. Yeah maybe I could just start fresh again if I find some time as I will be busy myself over the next few weeks.

Thanks for the advice and all