Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

A question on one night stands

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've never had one but have been tempted are drunken one night stands any good?
«1

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Usually not.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What are they normally like?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest usually very crap in my experience.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In what way? I have had offers but always been too nervous
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sex was shit, feeling crap and empty afterwards, like id made a big mistake and felt used.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are u a boy or girl? I'm thinking of having one to lose my v plates! Why was the sex crap
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Because my attraction to the person was lust, and not an attraction that grew. I'm a boy.

    Im not saying you should or shouldnt have a 1 night stand to lose your v plates, just be very careful of getting involved in a situation you have never been in before, especially if you and/or the other person have been drinking.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, at first it's a lot of lust that makes you do it. Then when you are finished, Le petite mort triggers in. You just want her out of the house and have a shower and suddenly you think it was not really worth it, but that might just be me.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    1. It's up to you, but I wouldn't do it. Not to lose your virginity, anyway. If I had the choice, I'd go back in time and lose my virginity to someone I trusted.
    2. Why are there multiple threads on this now?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    Yeah, at first it's a lot of lust that makes you do it. Then when you are finished, Le petite mort triggers in.

    Gloom! That's called "the gloom" in my friend group. :D
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Depends on how you feel for the person, if you really like them have done for a while etc, then have a one night stand, you'll probably feel quite crappy afterwards. But if you randomly meet someone in a club have drunken sex and leave in the morning, it's normally a good feeling.

    The sex itself, depends on how much you've drunk, and how confident you both are.

    And loosing your V on a one night stand, i'd highly advise not doing this. Being a virgin, is much better than living in regret and you can't change it...
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    G-Raffe wrote: »
    Because my attraction to the person was lust, and not an attraction that grew. I'm a boy.

    Im not saying you should or shouldnt have a 1 night stand to lose your v plates, just be very careful of getting involved in a situation you have never been in before, especially if you and/or the other person have been drinking.

    why do u say be careful at least i guess it would be out the way
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jsl1983 wrote: »
    why do u say be careful at least i guess it would be out the way

    I suppose he's talking about things like setting boundaries, going home with a stranger / inviting a stranger over, that kind of stuff.

    In a relationship or at the start of one you have a fair idea that you trust the person you're getting involved with to stop if you ask them to, not to steal your stuff, all that practical gubbins.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jsl1983 wrote: »
    I've never had one but have been tempted are drunken one night stands any good?

    Why do you have to be tempted to have your first time at having a drunken one night stand, as being your first time having sex?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    G-Raffe wrote: »
    Why do you have to be tempted to have your first time at having a drunken one night stand, as being your first time having sex?

    i guess i just want it out the way
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why do you want to get it out of the way though, when you really dont know what it is!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Getting it out of the way isn't going to change anything, is it?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It would change things I wouldn't have v plates hangig over me
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what really is the big deal?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Getting rid of "the V plates" really doesn't change anything. If you lose your virginity on a one night stand, particularly a drunken one, then you won't gain anything like meaningful experience. You still won't really know what you're doing the next time you come to have sex. So yes, you'll be able to tell yourself that technically you are no longer a virgin. But that's it.

    Do it if you feel you must. But a couple of things to bear in mind:

    1. In my experience, sex on a one night stand is always a bit crap. This is because I think sex gets better after a few shags with the same person, where you work out what each other like and dislike, and get comfortable enough to relax and ask for stuff you want to do. One night stands, in my experience anyway, are often a bit awkward and almost polite, and so while the thrill of it is quite good, I often find the sex itself a bit underwhelming.

    2. A lot of people would be freaked out if they pulled some girl in a club, especially a girl in her late 20s who they would have assumed was reasonably sexually experienced, then took her home and found out that this is her first time. Maybe not all, but a lot would.

    If you're determined to get it out of the way, rather than wait for it to arise naturally, I would be more inclined to look on the internet for a nice, similarly situated man.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jamelia wrote: »
    Getting rid of "the V plates" really doesn't change anything. If you lose your virginity on a one night stand, particularly a drunken one, then you won't gain anything like meaningful experience.

    Completely theoretically: it might also be possible to have quite a tragic experience. One that, I'm guessing, would involve a seventeen-year-old with a rather fragile ego being asked "was that your first time?" after giving about a minute of his most frantic thrusting. You might then tell possibly the least believable lie you've ever told: "no, I've done this three times before". A mix of incredulity and barely veiled pity might follow. I'd imagine that would take a while to be able to laugh about.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Completely theoretically: it might also be possible to have quite a tragic experience. One that, I'm guessing, would involve a seventeen-year-old with a rather fragile ego being asked "was that your first time?" after giving about a minute of his most frantic thrusting. You might then tell possibly the least believable lie you've ever told: "no, I've done this three times before". A mix of incredulity and barely veiled pity might follow. I'd imagine that would take a while to be able to laugh about.

    :lol:

    That sounds mortifying! What a relief that didn't actually happen, hey?!

    :heart:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jamelia wrote: »
    :lol:

    That sounds mortifying! What a relief that didn't actually happen, hey?!

    :heart:

    Can you imagine if it actually did?! I wouldn't want to meet the man that boy grew up to be. :D
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jamelia wrote: »
    Getting rid of "the V plates" really doesn't change anything. If you lose your virginity on a one night stand, particularly a drunken one, then you won't gain anything like meaningful experience. You still won't really know what you're doing the next time you come to have sex. So yes, you'll be able to tell yourself that technically you are no longer a virgin. But that's it.

    Do it if you feel you must. But a couple of things to bear in mind:

    1. In my experience, sex on a one night stand is always a bit crap. This is because I think sex gets better after a few shags with the same person, where you work out what each other like and dislike, and get comfortable enough to relax and ask for stuff you want to do. One night stands, in my experience anyway, are often a bit awkward and almost polite, and so while the thrill of it is quite good, I often find the sex itself a bit underwhelming.

    2. A lot of people would be freaked out if they pulled some girl in a club, especially a girl in her late 20s who they would have assumed was reasonably sexually experienced, then took her home and found out that this is her first time. Maybe not all, but a lot would.

    If you're determined to get it out of the way, rather than wait for it to arise naturally, I would be more inclined to look on the internet for a nice, similarly situated man.

    tbh thats what im worried about in the real world that i would be laughed at! Thing is at least if the guy is drunk and im a little tipsy i could blame the drink and i dont pass my age at all alot of people think im 18! Its not like i would blurt it otu either
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Someone who really cares about you, won't care.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jsl1983 wrote: »
    tbh thats what im worried about in the real world that i would be laughed at! Thing is at least if the guy is drunk and im a little tipsy i could blame the drink and i dont pass my age at all alot of people think im 18! Its not like i would blurt it otu either

    In the real world you dont have "IM A VIRGIN" sign following you around above your head.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jsl1983 wrote: »
    tbh thats what im worried about in the real world that i would be laughed at! Thing is at least if the guy is drunk and im a little tipsy i could blame the drink

    All that means is that the sex would be shit. You really don't want to have shit sex for your first time, if you have a choice. And as you're a bit older, meaning the men you meet are more experienced, you do have a choice.

    Being completely honest, I think you don't need to be worried about being laughed at. Some men might not want to have sex with you if you're a virgin because they wouldn't want the responsibility. Some men might want to have sex with you even more because, let's face it, taking someone's virginity is a massive turn-on for a lot of men.

    Other than that, my advice is the same as it has been in the other threads. You don't have to wait for the magical man of your dreams, but I think you willl regret it if you get twatted and jump into bed with the first man who pays you a compliment.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jamelia wrote: »
    Getting rid of "the V plates" really doesn't change anything. If you lose your virginity on a one night stand, particularly a drunken one, then you won't gain anything like meaningful experience. You still won't really know what you're doing the next time you come to have sex. So yes, you'll be able to tell yourself that technically you are no longer a virgin. But that's it.
    .

    I fully agree, but then again, sex is like oxygen, only if you are deprived of it you are really gagging for it. And I vividly remember the itch I had moments before having sex with my first gf for the first time. Afterwards it was alright and I didn't feel much different (it's not like a level up in a computer game where you can spend new attribute points or learn new talents), but even tho you cannot appreciate once you have it, you are dying to get it, when you are depraved of it.
    G-Raffe wrote: »
    In the real world you dont have "IM A VIRGIN" sign following you around above your head.

    But maybe like a "kick me" sign taped to the back?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think if your going through a dry spell (which I currently am:yeees:) then it could be good to get it off your chest so to speak.

    But,as a virgin,maybe you`d be better off waiting.
    I personally didnt really care how I lost my V Plates and it didnt matter to me,but not everyone is like that and it can mess some people up.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I had my first time, I knew the person a bit but I didn't tell them it was my first time. It soon became pretty physically obvious as things progressed and there was a bit of embarrassment, shock and awkwardness on both sides. Not good. I say, wait til you know someone well enough to be able to say "look, this is my first time." They will either say "Hold on there a minute!" and run a mile, or they'll be decent about it. And what you want is the latter unless you want to spend hours looking back with your head in your hands going "what the fuck did I do that for??"
Sign In or Register to comment.