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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I feel so so so shit. Like.... iwanttogoandjumpoffacliff shit.
So.
I've written about this before under a different username, but... I dunno, I'm not going to this time.
I have this problem, and it has taken me around 4 years to go and see a doctor. And I went to see a GP today.
I'm a 19, female and yet I have no boobs. I went to the doctor today, told him the problem and then pretty much cried the rest of the time. My one and only option is to lose weight, and see if that happens to sort the hormonal problem out. But I was only a smidge overweight when I went through puberty so :crying: it looks unlikely. If not... there is nothing more he can do for me. I have to save up for a boob job.
I'm not obese (although it feels like it :crying: ), but still quite a bit overweight but I am *slowly* losing weight, but I don't know what else I can do. I keep a food diary, so I don't eat shit, I go to the gym at least 3 times a week, usually 4. When I saw the GP because of PCOS, she said she wouldn't do anything until I lost some more weight. Since then, I've had problems with making myself sick and this has made it so much worse.
I don't understand why I can't get any more help... I know of someone who had the same problem as me, and they are getting surgery on the NHS. People can get surgery to change gender, and yet I am stuck hating myself the way I am.
Can I afford surgery? No. Will I be able to in the next 5 years? No. Doctor said I should get counselling from the uni. As if I'm going to try that again. And they'll give the usual fucking "but everyone has issues with their bodies". Yeah but at least they're fucking normal. I can't function like this. I don't bother with relationships, because I now defnitely know that I can't let people get close to me. Thinking about living the next week like this is horrible, and I don't know how I can carry on for the rest of my life hating myself this much. I want to leave uni, and go somewhere where I don't have to face people everyday. And that's the bare minimum. I really just want out.
Part of the reason I didn't go to the doctor for so long, was because I was scared they couldn't do anything... and well....... I wish I never went.
So.
I've written about this before under a different username, but... I dunno, I'm not going to this time.
I have this problem, and it has taken me around 4 years to go and see a doctor. And I went to see a GP today.
I'm a 19, female and yet I have no boobs. I went to the doctor today, told him the problem and then pretty much cried the rest of the time. My one and only option is to lose weight, and see if that happens to sort the hormonal problem out. But I was only a smidge overweight when I went through puberty so :crying: it looks unlikely. If not... there is nothing more he can do for me. I have to save up for a boob job.
I'm not obese (although it feels like it :crying: ), but still quite a bit overweight but I am *slowly* losing weight, but I don't know what else I can do. I keep a food diary, so I don't eat shit, I go to the gym at least 3 times a week, usually 4. When I saw the GP because of PCOS, she said she wouldn't do anything until I lost some more weight. Since then, I've had problems with making myself sick and this has made it so much worse.
I don't understand why I can't get any more help... I know of someone who had the same problem as me, and they are getting surgery on the NHS. People can get surgery to change gender, and yet I am stuck hating myself the way I am.
Can I afford surgery? No. Will I be able to in the next 5 years? No. Doctor said I should get counselling from the uni. As if I'm going to try that again. And they'll give the usual fucking "but everyone has issues with their bodies". Yeah but at least they're fucking normal. I can't function like this. I don't bother with relationships, because I now defnitely know that I can't let people get close to me. Thinking about living the next week like this is horrible, and I don't know how I can carry on for the rest of my life hating myself this much. I want to leave uni, and go somewhere where I don't have to face people everyday. And that's the bare minimum. I really just want out.
Part of the reason I didn't go to the doctor for so long, was because I was scared they couldn't do anything... and well....... I wish I never went.
0
Comments
Did the doc tell you that surgery was not an option for you??
xxxxxx
Whilst breast enhancement is usually excluded from NHS there are exceptions and this is usually one of them - especially if you emphasise the issues you feel in your last paragraph (relationships, emotional impact). It comes under the title "Exceptional Treatments" or something similar - it does usually require a supporting letter from your GP.
Please bear in mind that GPs are under pressure at the moment to keep referrals low and therefore your GP might have had that at the forefront of their mind. However, I would expect them to support something like this.
Good luck.
ETA: If you need any help or advice on how to get through this process, PM me
Have you told your GP you make yourself sick?
Do you take Metformin? It's not licensed for PCOS, it's actually a diabetes drug, but it's commonly prescribed. I also take Dianette, which hasn't done much for my weight but has done wonders for my periods (and sometimes the Pill can stimulate breast growth particularly if you have excess androgens which you could well do with PCOS).
No idea if any of that helps but if you want to rant at me any time feel free.
He said that surgery was an option but that I'd have to pay for it.
I think I did emphaise them quite a bit :crying: I asked him to refer me to an endocrinologist (it is something my old GP was going to do, but because I was leaving for uni so soon she said it would be better to wait) because if this and PCOS is caused by hormones I really would like to see sommeone who might have seen something like this a few more times.... But he said no.
*hug*
No I haven't. I got it sort of under control, but now.... I'm not so sure.
When I saw my home GP, she prescribed me metformin. However, I left for uni like the week after, and didn't wanna start on a new drug ontop of starting everything else. I went to see a GP here several weeks in, (to try and get the referral, because home GP said I needed a scan etc) but she said in a round about way that I shouldn't take the metformin and that I should just try and lose weight. So I didn't wanna take it against her word. I still have a load of it though.....
See another doctor at the same surgery and get a second opinion. At least get someone to explain why they don't want you to take metformin. I assume if your last doctor prescribed it there are problems with your blood sugar? It seems a logical option and although it's not a weight-loss drug if your blood sugar is under control weight loss will be easier.
Hmmm. Guess I'm gonna have to try doctor number 3 at the same surgery?
I've become somewhat unashamed about it. The receptionists don't need to know and the doctors won't ask, if anyone does just say that was the only appointment you could get. (It helps to look on the practice website first so that if they ask who with you can give a name rather than saying "anyone except Dr. X or Dr. Y!)
Not really. I'm at the uni one. Stuff gets hard if I change, because of placements etc. But I guess all that doesn't even matter anyway.
BUT, and its all about the buts, a lot of the time you love your course, and I mean really love it. Have a flick through some of your facebook photos of the stuff you've done with your course mates, there are some damn good bits. Don't forget about their existence, even if they're a bit distant at the moment to out weigh the rubbish.
Put a film on, grab a drink you like and don't set an alarm for the morning. Having some chill time and a rest. You probably don't realise it, but I'd bet you're massively worn down, you've been doing work for thst exam, and worrying about your friend which is harder work than you'll ever realise.
I won't promise a decent rest, a chilled out weekend, some stunning devon scenery and fresh air will fix everything but getting all of that will squash the downer effect that exhaustion is having on you.
Xx
I hope you do not mind me giving my opinion.
I know how hard it can be when you hate something about yourself, i understand that it becomes the thing that controls everything you do, everything you wear, the people you let into your life and mostly it just erodes your happiness and confidence a little bit each day.
All i can suggest is that you keep trying, i know it is a hassle to see doctors at other surgerys but that may be what you need to do.
If this is having such a big impact on your life then surely you should be able to get surgery on the nhs it seems really unfair to me.
I am sure there are a lot of people who love you including all of us so please try to stay strong and keep on and on until you get what you need, believe me it can be a struggle to get people to listen but sooner or later some one will x
Sorry to hear you were feeling fed up last night. How's things today?
Take care
Just wanted to say hope you're feeling less blergh today and it's Friday so you've made it through another week!
dp
I have to get up at 6am every day this week to make it to 8am ward rounds, and I can't sleep because of the noise my flatmates make. I have earplugs but they don't cut it. So like 3 hours of sleep, and then have to "work" from 8 till any time after 5, it is gonna be the same for the next 3 weeks, and i also have 2 essays to write, but have no time, as each evening I'm cramming, revising stuff / learning new stuff for the next day.
One of the essays is on something I don't understand at all, and I don't see how I can get any help for it.
This is meant to be a really good experience, but 2 days in and I want to give up. Seriously, I'm not capable of anything.
I've found that the crappy yellow foam ones are....crappy. I use silicone ones (called "BioEars") which are really, really good for drowning out noise.
I think they're the ones I use... like sort of blue colour?
It is an essay where we all do different things, so only one person has the same topic as me, and we don't get given a title.
This is still just an ongoing moan.....
I am the closest to self-harming that I have been in years.... It really is just *everything* and feeling so overwhelmed. I really thought I was like... properly over it, didn't even really consider it an option, but now feels different. Moan moan moan.
And outside into some fresh air and remember you're in a lovely part of the world.
And go out and watch the sea.
And remember that consultants may crush your soul today, but tomorrow is another day.
Flat mates going home always really sucks at uni, one easy tip is to make sure the very first thing you do when you get in is turn the radio on. Note this must be the radio, not just music.
I forget is you have my msn or not. If you don't, let me know.
(see I can be sensible really)