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Having an affair after 3 months of marriage.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I got married in November to a girl I had been with for nearly six years. Never cheated on her, thought married life was ok until bow. A month ago i went out with my friends to a local bar, this stunning girl started dancing with me and at the end gave me her number. I decided to text her the next day and we swapped lots of texts and got on well, i then asked her out for a drink. We met up a few times but she still didnt ask me if i was with someone, nor did I say. After a few dates I started to feel really close to her and vice versa, we have had sex 5 times and it is amazing.. I get on so well and it's a complete break from my wife who just seems to nag me and I also dont really enjoy sex with.
When i went out yesterday for a drink I thought I would be honest and tell her my situation. I was a bit nervous thinking she would blow a fuse but She said she felt sorry for me but couldn't tell me what to do and it was probably best I try and sort my marriage out. She came round last night while my wife was away for the weekend and we had sex. She text me afterwards saying it cant go on but she is crazy about me and cant get me out of her head.
Im not sure what to do right now. I am 32 and she is 18. I guess it is just lust and the grass always seems greener.
When i went out yesterday for a drink I thought I would be honest and tell her my situation. I was a bit nervous thinking she would blow a fuse but She said she felt sorry for me but couldn't tell me what to do and it was probably best I try and sort my marriage out. She came round last night while my wife was away for the weekend and we had sex. She text me afterwards saying it cant go on but she is crazy about me and cant get me out of her head.
Im not sure what to do right now. I am 32 and she is 18. I guess it is just lust and the grass always seems greener.
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Comments
If you are having problems at home then you need to talk to your wife about it and not go and sleep with the first person that shows some interest in you.
Sure it's flattering to feel desirable again but you owe your wife so much more than this.
You can't go running to other women at the first sign of trouble. You need to speak to your wife.
:yes:
Just forget about her and work on your relationship with your wife
Isn't that just going to cause problems?
Welcome to the boards :wave:
You seem confused as what to do, and this is understandable as this affair has clearly gone further than you expected. The questions here are whether you want to work on your marriage and stop this affair, or whether you feel you want to end your marriage and continue the relationship you have with this girl.
There are many reason why some people are unfaithful, and perhaps it is important for you to understand why you were/are. Perhaps the issue only lies with you, and perhaps there is something in your marriage that is not working. You mention your wife "nags", have you spoken to her about this?
Whatever you decide to do, try and let the reason for it be based on your decision. Her mother unfortunately suffering from cancer does not mean you have to continue this. In terms of telling your wife, only you know what is best.
Good luck
My advice is to get your head out of your cock and either work on things with your wife or leave her because at the moment you're treating 2 people like shit.
Blunt, but never mind.
How would u feel if your wife was doing it behind your back and you thought everything was rosy, get a grip if your not happy leave your wife if u love your wife get rid of the young girl!!
:yes:
Totally agree. You need to be honest with your wife about what you have done and if she still wants you, try and work things out. You're clearly not happy, so even if you choose not to tell your wife about the affair, you still need to have a talk with her about your issues. Once you have broken off the affair, that is. Your wife deserves more respect.
OP - you need to decide whether your relationship with this girl is real or just projection of what you actually want with your wife. First step is to talk with your wife and leave the girl be for a while.
However you need to honestly consider why you married your wife in the first place. Did you propose, if so, why? Did you actually want to marry her, or did you go through with it because of a sense of obligation? What did you see in your wife and do you think you can see it again?
And what do you see in this new girl? Do you have a genuine connection with her, or are you just enjoying fucking a teenager, proving that you're still a stud who's got lead in his pencil? There's nothing wrong with just enjoying shagging a teenager, but if that's all you want you need to be honest with yourself and honest with her. Teenagers who get jilted can make life very very messy for you, so don't mess about with her feelings.
If you don't like your wife and don't know why you married her then you might want to think about annulment or divorce (but not yet, you've not been married long enough for divorce). If you do like your wife and you're just thinking with your cock, ditch the other girl and act like a man for once.
If you're madly in love with the 18 year old see if you can make it work with her. If you're not, let her down gently too, don't just keep sleeping with her because you can.