Self-harm

Former Member

Hey, I'm new to this. I'm 17.

I'm a self-harmer, have been for 5years. I have tryed everything to stop but nothing has worked. Its my way of coping and don't think I can live without it now but I would like to.
I have another problem with is talking to people face to face thats why I have never been able to get help because I start panicking when speaking to people and then kindof shut myself of.
I aswell stop eating for quiet abit as when I'm really down, eating just makes me worse.
My family don't care, I tryed explaining to them I need help but they say its my problem I have to sort it out but it has led to trying to end my life twice but they still aren't willing to listen. I've been alone for so long, not sure what to do now still.

Any advice?

Former Member

do you have anyone else you could speak to outside of your family? the thing about being frightened of speaking to people face-to-face is that you can only get over it by doing it, even though you're frightened. if a doctor was treating someone with a phobia or other intense fear then they would do so by exposing the person to the thing they are frightened of. it's the only way you will ever get over it, by gradually facing your fear.

maybe you could start by writing things down to give to people, then maybe read things from letters from the other side of a door, then gradually begin to speak in front of people? maybe you could start with a less traumatic topic, then start talking about your problems when you feel more comfortable?

i think you should practice taking to people you trust, and then you'll feel less alone, and you might find that you feel a bit better just by doing that.

also there is lots of useful info on thesite about self-harm and ways to stop. but you'll only be able to do it if you really want to. and the first step is to start feeling more positive about yourself, which you might be able to do if you let more people in.

Former Member

Thanks, thats all useful .
No I don't have anyone to speak to outside my family. I didn't make many friends at school or college. I had councellor at college but it was only for a couple of months. I don't tust anyone only a couple of people but I haven't seen them for ages. I trying to get help near me with connexions so trying to see a councellor and help getting a job, I know it will be really hard but hopefully it helps.

I have a book I write in which I put my thoughts and feelings into like words, poems etc which helps alittle because I can't get it out to anyone so it helps writing it down. I hide it though so no can read it.

Former Member

do you think you could ask to see the counsellor again? i know that the appointments only usually run for a limited period of time but they might give you some more sessions. or you could visit your student support department and see if they have any contacts for you?

i think your book is a really good idea. have you thought of keeping an online blog/journal as well, and posting things from your book? then it could be read by anyone you wanted to give the link to, or you could keep it anonymous. but that might help you find some support from others, even if they are people who don't know you.

Former Member

The councellor was when I went to college but I finished college now. So am trying to get a councellor through the connexions but I only sent something this lunchtime so just waiting for a email back.

Thats sounds a alright idea. How do I keep a online blog/journal?

Thank you

Former Member

midnight wrote: »

Thats sounds a alright idea. How do I keep a online blog/journal?

www.blogspot.com and [URL="http://wordpress.org/]wordpress.org[/URL] are the most common. If you want it to be kept anonymous you might want to set up a new email address for the purpose.

**helen**

piccolo wrote: »

www.blogspot.com and [URL="http://wordpress.org/]wordpress.org[/URL] are the most common. If you want it to be kept anonymous you might want to set up a new email address for the purpose.

:yes:

And http://www.tumblr.com/

Former Member

Thank you, I will look at them:)

Former Member

midnight wrote: »

Hey, I'm new to this. I'm 17.

I'm a self-harmer, have been for 5years. I have tryed everything to stop but nothing has worked. Its my way of coping and don't think I can live without it now but I would like to.
I have another problem with is talking to people face to face thats why I have never been able to get help because I start panicking when speaking to people and then kindof shut myself of.
I aswell stop eating for quiet abit as when I'm really down, eating just makes me worse.
My family don't care, I tryed explaining to them I need help but they say its my problem I have to sort it out but it has led to trying to end my life twice but they still aren't willing to listen. I've been alone for so long, not sure what to do now still.

Any advice?

I only just joined here like an hour ago and found this...(im still trying to figure my way round this site btw)

I was amazed by what you said, and i feel so similar to that!

I wasn't sure if going on here would help me, but hearing what you said and someone that is feeling so similar to me, i can't believe it

I have someone to talk to about my self harm...my best friend. That's the only person i can talk to about it. I haven't cut for 3 weeks but im feeling the massive urge to again....My best friend said that if i feel that im going to then to ring her, but i know that in the moment i won't be able to bring myself to.....I can't stand the thought of letting her down, but i can feel it coming....

Have no idea what im going to do with myself

Former Member

everything still the same
Cutting gone worse but it helps me more then anything.
I was contacting the samaritans the back and forward about how I was feeling.
With my family its got much worse, I can't find a job but helping out at a dog boarding kennels and i'm a dog walker in my village which gives me abit of money. My mum telling me to move out, she doesn't care where I go, she just me to go. I think i would go now if I didn't have my 2 rabbits to look after which I can't just leave.
Sucidal thoughts are getting much stronger and I'm not sure how long I can fight it for, it seems the easiest option. I don't have much energy to fight it, everyday seems to be getting harder and harder.

Former Member

Do you have anyone you can talk to?

Former Member

Melian wrote: »

Do you have anyone you can talk to?

No i don't, I have always been on my own to deal with it all. My family know things are up but they don't care they have said it to me enough.

Former Member

Hi Midnight,

Sorry to hear that things are still the same and that you feel you are on your own dealing with your issues. You don't have to be though - there is help out there if you want to seek and accept it. You said you have been contacting the Samaritans...howz that been going? It's great that you have been able to contact them, it's also great that you are keeping occupied volunteering at the kennels and earning money dog walking - these are all really positive things in you life. You also have your rabbits too.

You have been given some really good advice on your thread - did you manage to check out any of the information pages sugested around self-harm and suicidal thoughts? Some of the info and stories may help you to explore how you are feeling and coping at the moment.

You said that you have been working with Connexions - can you speak to your worker about the situation with Mum? They may be bale to help you look at rehousing you in a planned way? Or possibly some kind of mediation with Mum?

Keep posting and take care

Former Member

Contacting the Samaritans is going alright, i suppose it just helps getting it all out. The kennels isn't volunteering, I get payed for it

Yes I checked it all out.

The connexions near me never got back to me so I gave up, the chat room connexions told me all the details for it and stuff.