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The voice of reason in what seems to have turned into a debate.
StrubbleS/Hellfire - both getting way too personal here, take it to politics if you want to have a full-on discussion about the age of consent because it's really not helpful to the OP.
Fyrefly, the way you've worded your question is ambiguous and it would help to know more about your circumstances to really address your question with responses that will truly help you to make a sensible decision on this one.
So, if you can face coming back, then it would be cool to get this discussion back on track.
In the meantime, you might find it helpful to read TheSite.org's article on am I ready for sex to think about both your situation and the girl's in question:
http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/sexuality/awareness/amireadyforsex
You might also find Brooks advice about consent helpful:
http://www.brook.org.uk/my-rights/sex-relationships-and-your-rights/having-sex
Communication is key here - it's important to have really open chats with this girl to find out how she really feels about it to make sure you're both on the same page before taking things further.
I found nothing of his phrasing peculiar or suspicious.
Of course the other persons feelings have to match your own, that's what I am saying the whole time with the word "consensual", but it is of no interest of you if there is consent and meeting of interest or not, because apparently it's wrong and sick either way!
And I was under the impression I was one of the few who was actually helping and not saying things like, "Are you serious? You even need to ask. How can you think this is ok?"
hells yes :yes:
Sorry StrubbleS - when I say not helpful to the OP, I don't mean in terms of your comments in general, I mean about the comments that belittle others. Those comments aren't helpful to the OP because it moves the discussion away from his situation to a wider debate on consent that was off key for this thread. Hope that makes better sense to you.
Hmmm so he pushed you into it.
Being pushed to do it isn't OK Angel, I'm sorry to hear it happened like that for you.
If he pushed you into it thats never ok whether you're 14 or 40
It's hebephilia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hebephilia
He pushed you in to having sex with him? Im sorry Abi. That is not ok. If he cares about you he shouldnt push you in to doing anything. Wether its sex or something silly like, I dont know, buying a hat. This is for the OP too if they're still reading. Of course its important that as individuals both partners are ready and wanting to do it, and that they discuss how they feel about it with each other, but I think ultimately, it should be down to the more vaulnerable of the couple to decide. Wether its the youngest, or the least experienced or the most emotional fragile.
For all we know the OP could have had no sexual experience before, but the 14 year old might be an expert. In which case its more likely that the 14 year old would be calling the shots anyway. Its really hard to say without knowing the individuals.
There is a law and it is there for a reason, why do u think there are so many teenage pregnancies in the uk? Because children who have sex are to imature to realise they can get pregnant!!!!
x
agreed and it's interesting you bring up teenage pregnancies. i would argue that there are a lot of 14 year old mothers who are doing a brilliant job. being ready in mind and body as you say isn't always dependent on age, it varies from individual to individual.
losing your virginity or getting pregnant at such a young age isn't 'ideal' but what is in life?
Funny, we obviously have totally different lists. Mine is, no joining the police/military/religious organisations/voting Tory/no needle sharing - as long as those things are avoided I will have succeeded.
same. God can you imagine the shame if they did those things
Regrettably I fear so.
Whilst I may be a true blue and a Catholic to boot, I will encourage any kiddies that I may have in the future to think for themselves, decide for themselves what's right, spiritually, politically and morally, and let them pursue whatever (legal) profession they should choose.
I really hope that too, but if this happens to be when she was 14, will you have failed as a parent then?
How can you gauge that? Because YOU personally have not been ready at that age? Statistics? Law?
I don't think this is down to age itself (just to some degree), but with sexual education, which I have no idea when and how thorough you have it in the UK. That's why there are some extreme cases of 25 year olds who have no idea where babies came from, because they are living in some weird sect-like commune which would not teach their children about things like that.
I don't think the law is there that protects teens from being stupid and careless. They do it anyway! And a law is not stopping them.
I guess we all have different opinions on this subject.
I just hope FYREFLY makes the right choices x
Yes, I agree. Hense why I took a step back..
However I never knew you were a mummy, I guess the girl in flowergirl made me assume. Lol.
Likewise
Yes i am a Mummy of 2 lovely children, but last time i looked i was still a girl lol
Oh lovely, lol but I'd have picked Woman over Girl
flowerwoman sounds a bit tragic though
Chortle, I don't believe you will, though I believe you think you will.