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How young is too young?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
so I'm 16 and have the opportunity to have sex with a 14 year old. what do people think of this this? is it ok to do that? I've read before that the generally excepted rule is half your age + 7 which works out as 15 for me.
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If you live in Bangladesh on the other hand...
When you can't spell "fire"
Didn't think so.
I whole heartedly agree.
My sister had a boyfriend for a year when she was 13 and he was 17.
Which is pretty fucking sick, I mean that's paedophilia
Only technically (although it is pretty sick if the younger of the two is hopelessly naive)
OP, the way you say you have the 'opportunity' to have sex with her seems like you'd be using her. Fuck around with people closer to your own age. If you hurt her, it would affect her more than someone older.
The generally accepted rule is that under 16 is too young. At least in the eyes of the law that is the case. There is a reason for that.
To be fair, though, I have a daughter and as a father I'd say that 33 would be too young for her to bring a boyfriend home.
WOW you really see no problems with a 17 year old dating a 13 year old... Im actually shocked. It's sick and if I had a daughter, any guy who did that to her at that age would end up dead.
Maybe in your rosy world. 13 year olds have sex nowadays *gasp* Maybe you wanna say something bad about my parents too, who of course knew about it, since he stayed a lot at our place, while you are at it?
LOL, you manbaby. "who did that to her". You are talking as if she was raped. It was a consensual relationship and if you must know it: My sister was usually calling the shots. You're worse than my grandmother.
Technically it isn't, but legally it is.
(well, I suppose there's a small chance she may be pre-pubescent, but that's unlikely)
Yeah I would.. Regardless of if other people are doing it, any parent who lets their daughter at thirteen sleep with a guy who is near enough an adult is a bad parent in my eyes.
Even in Austria that is classed as Illegal.
Well, yea it was, by half a year. I didn't say me or my parents weren't concerned at the beginning, but he was a nice guy and it turned out to be a balanced relationship. It's not like we didn't know what was going on. He lived at our place for some time.
Actually, I think a bad parent is someone who threatens teenagers with death, if they are dating your daughter.
Well I guess your just lucky I (A) do not have a daughter and (B) you've not slept with her
Well, I am in an age where I am not interested in girls bordering the age of consent anymore, but thanks for the heads up. By the time I had sex for the first time (with 15) I was gagging for it, and I was ready for it much sooner. What I want to say is: This is in most cases pretty self-regulatory. In my opinion, if someone is not ready for sex he or she is not going to have it, unless forced, which then you can happily criminalize it, I am d'accord with you on that. But I hate seeing people treating teenagers like mindless drones with an inclination to self-destruction who need to be herded like sheep.
Age of consent and things like that are there for a reason, yes. For example to protect children from adult people with twisted sexual desires and problems who have no problem forcing a minor into something for their own gratification, not to prosecute one of two teens in a consensual relationship where one happens to be below the age of consent. Calling that paedophilia is just ridiculous.
Which doesn't make it right.
I agree. Just out of interest Hellfire, what would you do if the 17 year old was your son and he wanted to do that to a 13 year old?
:yes:
Says who? Why would you force your opinion as a twenty-something virgin on a teenager who feels ready to have sex, and in his/her opinion has the feeling it is VERY right with a certain person who feels the same?
I have no blooming idea, I would near disown him and would endorce whatever legal punishment he receives. however I would think I will raise him better than that.
Bit personal no???
I'm not a twenty something virgin... In fact I lost my virginity around the legal age in the UK, however I did it with someone of my age.
The fact you seem to condone someone having sex with someone under age and illegal worries me.. Quite a lot in fact.
The law says it's not right. The OP doesn't say that the other person feels ready too - it sounds more like he's using her.
That's your interpretation of what she said. My interpretation is her boyfriend has said he wants to take the next step, and while she's ready for it too she is aware that his age could be seen as a problem by some (but obviously not by her)
but regardless of the phrasing of the question, OPs circumstances don't have much to do with the actual question - whether a 16/14 is a problem.
And as usuall with the question, an age is just a number, so it's down to the individual circumstamces. It is illegal though.
I wasn't quoting you, when I wrote that post? i.e. not referring to you. Would be a bit silly calling a father of two a virgin. And I am not by any means encourage it in the sense of "hey kids! go have sex or you are uncool!", but I try not to forbid and suppress it, or talk about killing teens who do. In my opinion here is nobody at risk. If you have a suspicion that he is "using her" (alone the term makes me want to puke.), suggest the OP to talk to her about it, so he definitely has her consent and make him mindful of the legal problems that he might be facing, and stop calling it sick and wrong.
He didn't say the other person does NOT feel ready either, so I assume she is feeling ready too. And the "using her" card loses a lot of value if you consider he coming onto here to ask about it, instead of just "using her".
What is it with this suppressing of urges to delay it as long as possible? If you feel you want it, why not have it?
The OP did say that they have the opportunity to have sex with a 14 year old. My reaction would be different if the OP had said something like:
And the other persons' feelings...?