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Why isn't breastfeeding fashionable?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This is a subject close to my heart at the moment (literally!), and seeing as there's been a mini media flurry on the subject recently, with Gisele Bundchen getting all milk facist, and the age old 'is it ok to breastfeed in public' debate, I thought I'd throw out a question. Why isn't breastfeeding fashionable?
Current advice from the Department of Health is that infants be exclusively breastfed (i.e. no supplemental formula or solids) for the first 6 months, yet surveys show that by 6 weeks, only 21% of babies are fed in this way, dropping to 7% at 4 months, and 3% at 5 months. Source.
I accept that some mothers physically can't breastfeed, although according to my NHS leaflet, the actual figure is only 2%. I also realise that some babies have problems feeding, and some people just feel downright uncomfortable with the whole deal. But 97%? I believe this is more of a cultural thing. I personally think that breastfeeding just isn't cool.
I'm a new mother, I'm one of the 21% exclusively breastfeeding at 6 weeks, and I have had comments from people, with and without kids, that sometimes make me feel like I'm doing something wrong for feeding my baby in what is, to me, the normal way. I'm feeding her myself? Really??!? Don't I find it weird? Isn't it a faff being chained to her 24/7? What do I do if I'm out somewhere and she's hungry?
I'm not one of these militant feeders. I believe people should make their own choice about how to feed their child. I'm just shocked at how few people choose to have booby babies, especially considering the health implications, and I wonder what could make them more inclined to do it? Better public feeding facilities? More support? Celebrities speaking out in favour of it (obviously not in the Gisele fashion!)?
I know this is probably quite a niche discussion, but I'd be interested to hear people's thoughts.
Current advice from the Department of Health is that infants be exclusively breastfed (i.e. no supplemental formula or solids) for the first 6 months, yet surveys show that by 6 weeks, only 21% of babies are fed in this way, dropping to 7% at 4 months, and 3% at 5 months. Source.
I accept that some mothers physically can't breastfeed, although according to my NHS leaflet, the actual figure is only 2%. I also realise that some babies have problems feeding, and some people just feel downright uncomfortable with the whole deal. But 97%? I believe this is more of a cultural thing. I personally think that breastfeeding just isn't cool.
I'm a new mother, I'm one of the 21% exclusively breastfeeding at 6 weeks, and I have had comments from people, with and without kids, that sometimes make me feel like I'm doing something wrong for feeding my baby in what is, to me, the normal way. I'm feeding her myself? Really??!? Don't I find it weird? Isn't it a faff being chained to her 24/7? What do I do if I'm out somewhere and she's hungry?
I'm not one of these militant feeders. I believe people should make their own choice about how to feed their child. I'm just shocked at how few people choose to have booby babies, especially considering the health implications, and I wonder what could make them more inclined to do it? Better public feeding facilities? More support? Celebrities speaking out in favour of it (obviously not in the Gisele fashion!)?
I know this is probably quite a niche discussion, but I'd be interested to hear people's thoughts.
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Comments
Ease.
People think it's more hassle to breast feed, harder for Dad to take some strain etc. Then add in the other factors like stigma when in public. Consequently I think people just believe it's easier to go with the bottle.
At least, that's my opinion.
It's also interesting that people choose formula for the ease. That was one of the things that appealed to me most about going breast. No mixing, no sterilising, no boiling the kettle in the middle of the night. Just pop out a nipple and off you rock!
I breastfed both my babies up until they were six months old, but on those occasions where it wasn't possible (never because of social stigma, I couldn't give a rat's ass whether some old fart catches a glimpse of the side of my boob) and I gave them formula instead, I felt like I was a failure who was letting them down for not breastfeeding exclusively. But in hindsight, that's just daft. I did my best and fed them both as much as I was able to, so feeling guilty about the occasional bottle is madness.
But I agree that it's strange not enough women breastfeed. My inkling - women are worried about the toll it will take on their boobies. We live in such an image conscious age where the primary function of breasts is apparently to be on the front cover of Nuts magazine, not lactation. And I think lots of women fear they'll be left with spaniel's ears, and it puts them off.
This is stupid and shallow, but that's my gut feeling about it.
This is made even more maddening by the stigma aspect - people have these stupid, prudish and frankly contradictory and inconsistent norms that tell them it's fine for women to be on page 3, and on the front of lads' mags that aren't even on the top shelf - but pop one out for what it's actually intended to do, and they're suddenly offended and outraged. It makes my blood boil!
And to anyone considering breastfeeding, I would say this - it's one of the best things you'll ever do. I absolutely loved it, and I still miss it. Sometimes I feel sad that I won't get to do it again.
The shitstorm created by that article last month in which the deputy editor of a parenting magazine claimed breastfeeding is creepy was truly epic
Personally I don't have a problem at all with people breastfeeding in public.
I always felt a bit more embarrassed bottlefeeding in public, as its a bit chavvy
I would ignorance guidance from the likes of the Department of Health, all too often written solely for their own benefit and on the basis of questionable evidence. Their handling of the swine-flu epidemic that never was last year proves these people are utterly incompetent. Educate yourself and make your own mind up. Don't blindly do what some jumped-up academic or some pillock in a newspaper tells you to. And I certainly wouldn't suggest paying any attention to anything Gisele Bundchen. There's a reason she's a model and not a teacher or something - and we've clearly just found out what that reason is.
Summing up - it's up to the woman herself to decide whether she wants to do it or not. And anyone who thinks they have the right to tell a woman what to do in the circumstance should be run over by the nearest bus.
Oh, and I think Kathryn Blundell is creepy, not to mention many other unflattering words.
I think that this has a certain ring of reality about it though, sad as it may seem. There are people who give me the impression that they want a baby because they want "a baby" not realising that there more to having a child than the coochie-coo moments and dressing them up in pretty clothes.
The advice on breastfeeding is best available clinical evidence. It's not been dreamt up by some mandarin as you might think - in fact you'll find that most guidance coming from the DOH is evidence based.
I don’t really understand the ‘isn’t it a faff?’ point. Surely it’s less hassle carrying around a couple of breasts then all the bottled milk paraphernalia?
I can’t believe that breastfeeding in public still crops up every now and again. It’s beyond a non-issue.
There's definitely a trend thing, to some extent, at different times and in different places.
We were talking about it at home the other day. My grandma was saying that when she had her kids, in the 40s/50s, pretty much everyone she knew breastfed, but would have died before doing it in public. Bottlefeeding would have been frowned upon. My mum, on the other hand, said that when she had us, in the 70s/80s, in our area bottlefeeding was en vogue, and she felt like a bit of a weirdo for breastfeeding.
These days, I think a good proportion of people see people who want to breastfeed as preachy, do-gooder, save-the-universe types. I've had people say 'oh, I didn't see you as a breastfeeder', as if there is even some definition of a breastfeeder.
why would you need to know exactly how much she was getting?
You can tell if theyve had a good feed when breastfeeding, as your boob goes from full to empty and they do plenty of wet nappies. Perfectly adequate way of knowing
Do you think that the talk might be pushing women the other way, and making them more likely to bottlefeed?
In my area there is a REALLY low number of mums breastfeeding - there's a high rate of young mums and low income families, both statistically less likely to breastfeed, apparently, and although the midwives were really supportive of you making your own choice about feeding, I got the impression that they were over the moon to get someone, anyone, to breastfeed, and I had support coming out of my ears. I wonder if the pressure is trying to redress the balance, but missing the mark?
I definitely don't think anyone should be made to feel bad for giving the odd bottle of formula, or even exclusively formula feeding. I'm just baffled as to why the two aren't represented more evenly.
Ok I obviously don't know what it feels like to have a boob go from full to empty, and you'd still get a number of wet nappies if baby was just getting a little bit. Being a new parent doesn't put you in a great position for knowing what is "normal".
I personally preferred to be able to see what was happening.
That wasn't the only reason for stopping, just my particular consideration.
no you wouldnt.
Wet nappies is a reliable indicator that your baby is getting enough
This is starting to look prophetic :thumb:
NB Mrs MoK didn't breastfeed any of our children, she just didn't want to. We both knew all the benefits but it was a choice issue for her. Didn't please the midwife when we had our third and eventually I had to have a bit of a word with her about bullying and the whole point of choices.
Due to the fact that I was starting to resent my child I stopped. And then I felt hugely guilty for stopping, particularly a couple of days later when she was quite sick. I didn't sleep properly and worried myself sick over this decision. Looking back, it was the *right* decision. My child is happy, healthy and anyone who disputes this just does not know what they are talking about. You can see how well Niamhy is from being with her for 2 minutes. And we have a good, strong relationship, which I doubt I would've had if I had carried on breastfeeding.
However, discussions like this always make me doubt myself just that tiny bit. I disagree that there is a huge amount of stigma to breastfeeding. I never found that. I always found myself being scrutinized when I bottle-fed in public. I always felt I needed to justify my choices And regardless of what is being said here, I do feel that the posts in here have judged my decision to bottle feed. Maybe that is because I always have had that niggling over whether I have done the right thing, I don't know. I never ever decided to bottle feed for the 'easy' life (which, btw, is bollocks because it is a million times more faffy) and resent any sort of inclination.
So yes, breast is best. But only if both mother and child are happy. If not, there are alternatives.
Aye, we had to stay in hospital an extra day cause of a lack of wet nappies. The pediatrician said if you have 6+ wet nappies and they are gaining weight well, they're getting enough. There is no real 'normal'. Babies are all different. Mine, for example, is a right porker
I can totally understand someone giving it a go and then deciding to stop because they hate it, but I have trouble getting my head round not even giving it a go, even just for the colostrum
Its a class thing too, and since the lower classes have more children, and are also statistically much likely to bottlefeed, its a vicious circle
Also bottlefeeding is subsidised for people on benefits. People get free formula milk, whereas breastfeeders get nothing, and you all know how people love a freebie
I also think that people should be a bit more open about saying that it does hurt to start with until you both get the hang of it and that doesn't happen instantly - too many people go on about how it doesn't hurt if your doing it right which just makes to many people thin that they can't do it and so they give up.
I wonder how many people in the UK make it to a year - the WHO says you should breastfeed for the first two years and the world average is four years (so says my friend who is a midwife).
I must admit though that I didn't manage to exclusively breastfeed until my baby was 6 months mainly because she was OBSESSED with food and trying to grab it out of our hand and off the table and put in her mouth - so we started her early to make meal times a bit easier for us all.
I know very little about this, is a bit of both an option, or does it not work like that? I know it didn't for my brother - just wondering if thats a general thing or if he's a freak.
I didn't know that. Makes sense, I guess. Although obv boobs are free too!
Tbh I think it'd be hard for someone from a bottle background to choose breast. All my family had booby babies, so they've been supportive enough to outweigh the negative comments from elsewhere. If you didn't have that, or if you even had your family judging you, too, I think it'd be tough.
http://www.ivillage.co.uk/parenting/pracad/parfinance/articles/0,,186637_669059,00.html mentions the free milk (or formula for under 1s) and low income.
How common is this? And does it leave your brests really bad?
Who knows some peoples get bigger some peoples get smaller others get saggy and others stay the same - you don't know until you try - but i suspect a lot of people aren't willing to find out - but i recon just being pregnant does your boobs in a bit.