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Can't take it anymore
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Sorry everyone just really had to get this out of my system it really abut one of my previouse threads I have started and I know its no biggy but I can't keep it in no more x
I HATE my stupid Father he talks utter non sense my room was tidy it had a few books out because I was FUKING studying. Mother thretened me with a knife I told her to FU*K of so my Fatther came in a said what did you say! WHAT DID YOU SAY! so I tell him I said FU*K of can't you hear so my dad got my two hands and pulled them behind me then mother got a stick and started hitting me and then Father took the stick and started hitting me more telling me why was I ever born why did we have you then they go on about how great other family are so behaved so my Mother after finished hitting me would pinch me really hard and drag me to my room I FU*KING hate her so much I want to kill myself so bad there so much going on but so hard to make someone understand arghhhhh!
Thanks for reading,
sorry for dumping this all in here x
I HATE my stupid Father he talks utter non sense my room was tidy it had a few books out because I was FUKING studying. Mother thretened me with a knife I told her to FU*K of so my Fatther came in a said what did you say! WHAT DID YOU SAY! so I tell him I said FU*K of can't you hear so my dad got my two hands and pulled them behind me then mother got a stick and started hitting me and then Father took the stick and started hitting me more telling me why was I ever born why did we have you then they go on about how great other family are so behaved so my Mother after finished hitting me would pinch me really hard and drag me to my room I FU*KING hate her so much I want to kill myself so bad there so much going on but so hard to make someone understand arghhhhh!
Thanks for reading,
sorry for dumping this all in here x
0
Comments
I'm so sorry to hear how your parents have been treating you. You say it's 'no biggy' but this really is. Nobody has the right to hit you and hurt you either physically or emotionally, especially not your father and mother. They should be there to support you and look after you, not to cause you harm.
I know you've called Childline in the past, can you do that again do you think? It may be that you need to get out of that house and that situation for a while and they will be able to talk to you about what that might involve. Of course it feels scary and even though you're feeling really desperate right now it's really important that you tell someone, an adult, a friend, your doctor or another family member, someone that doesn’t live with you.
Let us know how you're getting on today. From the time of your post it looks like you'e been up late in to the night when things often feel much worse.
Take care of yourself.
*hug*
Who else knows? Do you think it would be possible for you to go to them and explain how you are feeling that you can't take things any more? Perhaps they could help you talk to the police or you doctor or someone else who could help.
I'm not sure where you are but if you put your postcode into our local advice finder and search for help with abuse, you might find some places you could go to locally, perhaps with a friend, to talk to about what's going on and get some help. It can be really scary to open up, but you'll find that people are there to help you feel better and safer.
Let us know how you are getting on *hug*
First off, don't worry about posting about your thoughts and feelings on here, this is exactly what these boards are for. You are really brave to be speaking up about what you are going through at the moment. That must take some courage- particularly as it sounds like when you've spoken up about things in the past, its come back on you. You mention talking to your school learning mentor which led to your parents hearing about it.
I'm not sure whether they explained how they deal with confidentiality. If you're in any doubt, ask the person your talking to whether what you say about your situation will be treated in confidence. If you talk to your doctor for example, they have strict guidelines.
If you're worried about talking to a Childline advisor it can be reassuring to get more information from them about what happens if you share information with them. It's important you feel like you're in control of the situation. You are doing the right thing by sharing what you going through and getting a sense of what your options might be.
Another helpline with a slightly different approach to Childline is Get Connected. They can help to start to think through the different issues you're experiencing at the moment and how you can get further advice and support to deal with each one. You can contact them on 0808 808 4994.
The key is to keep find people you can talk to about what you going through at the moment.
I feel sooo unwanted lonely and upset scared of my own parents who are blo*dy mean :crying:
Will I die soon everyway I could attempt with back up's as well :no: why do I not get it over with.
I hate everything everyone hates me I'mso stupid everything my blo*dy fault I don't care no more I need to end my life NOW!
No one loves me nor my own parents who should what should I do with my life? :crying:
it sucks that your life is a bit shit at the moment. just remember, it won't always be like this. one day you'll meet someone who will love you and care for you and take you away from all this.
all parents and children have their ups and downs, it's the way of the world, but in you case it seems like your parents hold some resentment towards you.
i know it's hard but don't focus on that. you need to keep you head up and believe in yourself.
like the others have put forward, talk to childline, to get connected, the samaritans, your friends, whoever you can to release the pressure that's clearly building inside you.
suicide is not the answer. like i said before, you've got your whole life to live, and one day you'll have your own family and children and i'm sure you'll be able to provide them with all the love and care that you don't seem to be getting.
one thing i do think you should consider is getting away from your parents. do you have any friends that can help you out?
keep your head up chick*hug*
How do you know my life wont always be like this how do I know what if it alwasy shit and a bit crap I will be a crazy lady when I grow up because I have so much to deal with know everyone will hate me becaseu I would be a freak and I think I'm totally going to loose it with my parents and I don't want to get kicked out again and do anything wrong I just want my fuking life to be perfect but it can't beacasue I have stupid parents constantly beating me. :nervous:
And how do my parents have some resentment towards me they hate me they firstly have sex because they wanted kids or jsut plainly felt like having it they had me unfortunetly as there second daughter I couldn't really have decided if I wanted that family or not could I.
I think I have givin up believeing in myself because I feel so crap or I just don't know how to believe in myself.
and how can suicide not be the only answer I no I have my whole life ahead of me but I don't care I'm going to live in misery and I talk to ChildLine on a regular basis we have a arranged chat every wednesday at 5 adn I dont want children or a family I don't want anything becasue everything will be crap like my family and life has been nower days i hate it x :no:
and I try to stay away from my parents as much as possible becaseu i tend to be locked in my room and I don't have any friends becaseu all I do is study and try and keep organised and keep things tidy I'm like conttrol freak I hate my shitty life to bad I can't pay someone to kill me x :crying:
A couple of reasons: mainly to think about what options might be open to you, but also to help assess how literally I should take your account of the goings on in your house. I'm going to work from the position that what you've said is a completely accurate - make any necessary adjustments yourself.
Firstly, if I were you, I'd stop telling my parents to "fuck off". It sounds like your mother and father have form when it comes to violent punishments, and being verbally abusive is unlikely to temper their propensity for beating you. Keep your head down and don't make yourself a target.
If things are getting to the point that you don't feel you're able to live at home, then you need to speak to Childline about your options next time you call. It's not a situation that I'm familiar with, but I suspect they'll have the knowledge about what can be done to help you.
I don't think its right for you too feel that the way you are treated is your fault. I am not condoning how your parents treat you, because frankly, its just wrong. They have no right to beat and abuse you, or lock you away when they feel you have done something wrong. I agree with CptCoatHanger that you should not give your parents a reason to take their anger and frustration out on you, but your parents should not be doing that in the first place. Is there no where you can go to get away from things at home if they start to get heated? Like maybe go for a walk somewhere on your own to give you chance to clear your mind and give your parents a chance to calm down and think before they act?
And yes my parents are religious.
And ChildLine would only just tell me to sspeak to someone!
I would recommend talking to your mentor at School, they WILL help. They have to, it's covered in different acts and bits of legislation
I agree, and that you should keep your head down for a while.
I've just pm-ed you
And they wont help they'll make things worst like other people have I have tryed I sat and she asked what seems to be the matter I went in to total shut down and she told me to calm down we havea session after the holidays again
And I think he has many reasons to hit me for like dropping something by accident or leaving a pack of crisp lieing by or a messy un ordered book shelf and dust on the computer and more...
And I'll take my anger out on self harm not a bad idea seems alot easierthan triggering my mother and father x
They are not valid reasons to hit a child. We have told you this earlier on in the thread and you need to understand this.
I said it would be best to not take your anger out with self harm or by shouting back to your parents. Perhaps find something else to do?
Am I not aloud to self harm I should stop before my Father finds out shouldn't I thank you for telling me to stop I only have a few cuts any way x
I will draw instead all my anger on a piece of paper scrunch it up and throw it away and then try and forget about it....
And then everything happens all over again soon I'll get used to it hopefully any ideas how?
They are not valid reasons, people can have tidy rooms without having to be beaten.
What you've posted on here?
In a few weeks andd I can't say what I've postted I'll just show her this thread if I don't freeze up and it's in september first tuesday I see the mentor and friday I see the social worker I hope everything goes well I'm soo nervous alredy and scared what will she do when she finds out ?