She's bi-curious but my friend

Former Member

Oh god... one of my best friends (who I've always had a bit of a crush on) now thinks she is Bi... If I asked her out, and it didn't work, would it fuck up our friendship?
Because I don't want to loose her... but she's just so lovely!
I don't know what to do! I mean... should I even tell her I fancey her?
Xx

Former Member

If i were you I wouldnt jump in straight away. You said she 'thinks' she's bi, so you wanna give her time to decide, if you just go for it, you might scare her off

Former Member

I think that this is something that none of us can tell you what to do... Its up to you to judge your relationship with her, and either take the risk or not.

But one thing... If she has only just started thinking shes bi... going straight into a relationship might be too quick. Its one thing thinking about other girls, another thing actually acting on it. Maybe give her some space and see how things unfold over time.

(edit - sorry posted at same time as Lexi99)

Former Member

Okay cheers you two Ahhh it's all come complicated!
Xx

Former Member

seduce her!

do it!

Former Member

Uncle Strubbs. *takes some cool points off you* Don't be a twat.
Xx

Former Member

no, seriously. I'm monitoring this thread until you come with updates. I think it's cute and I am tee-hee-hee-ing here.

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

no, seriously. I'm monitoring this thread until you come with updates. I think it's cute and I am tee-hee-hee-ing here.

:grump: I hate you Uncle Strubs :grump: Not really...
Xx

Former Member

OK, she knows you're bi, and says she thinks she might be. Are you sure that wasn't her angling for a try out?

Yes, it could very much screw over your relationship.

It's time for the "I value you more as a friend" speech. (which will, of course, not do wonders for you friendship, but can heal)

Former Member

I have never fallen for a friend but i really do feel that if a friendship develops into a relationship then there is no way back if it goes wrong or even fails to get going.
Assuming that this girl knows you are Bi i would be inclinded to let her take the lead that way she will come to you when she feels ready.
Perhaps a tiny bit of subtle flirting :flirt: from you just to break the ice.
But hand on heart and i know this is not what you want to hear but i think it will end in tears if you pursue it.
Saying that B A i wish you all the luck and happines possible with this x

Former Member

Broken-Angel wrote: »

:grump: I hate you Uncle Strubs :grump: Not really...
Xx

It is not appropriate to award StrubbleS cool points for that, but I'd award a lot regardless, if you get her

Former Member

Hi B-A, just wanted to point out, and I know this might seem to be a grumpy mod thing to do, that since the 2003 Sexual Offences Act came in there's no long any distinction around gender and the age of consent.

Whatever you decide to do is your choice and I'm sure lots of people will provide great advice, but it'd be a remiss of us not to point out that if there is a significant age gap between yourself and your friend then that could present some real risks or problems for her and yourself.

Former Member

If you already love the friend, not passionately, but for who she is, then I think you're already at the point where too much is at risk to consider romance. Your friendship will stay more certain if you stay as friends but if you seek romance and you've already been friends for a good while, then there is a lot at risk. I've never thought about hooking up with a friend that I've had for a while. With my limited romance experience, I've done it with people who I've just met, knowing them just days or weeks. In that way, there is less at risk if it doesn't work out.

Former Member

Jim, you'll be pleased to know she is in my year Only a couple of months older than me!
Xx

Former Member

Well... I now have a girlfriend. Not the girl I was talking about in this thread though...
But this girl is another friend, in my year but different school, and we have both agreed to a fun relationship
Xx

Former Member

Good Luck, have fun.

Former Member

katralla wrote: »

Good Luck, have fun.

Thanks, we are going to a party on Saturday It'll be pretty cool.
Oooohhh I've never had a proper girlfriend like this
Xx

Former Member

I keep forgetting how young you are, you're so mature. haha. good luck

Former Member

Broken-Angel wrote: »

Thanks, we are going to a party on Saturday It'll be pretty cool.
Oooohhh I've never had a proper girlfriend like this
Xx

Umn, aren't you dating everyone, including on here, except me? I really can't keep up with it.

Former Member

The Convincer wrote: »

Umn, aren't you dating everyone, including on here, except me? I really can't keep up with it.

That's not really fair.

Former Member

The Convincer wrote: »

Umn, aren't you dating everyone, including on here, except me? I really can't keep up with it.

Way to make me feel like a slag. Fuck it I wont go out with her then, I'll just be fucking single and depressed.
I'll end it later.

Former Member

Broken-Angel wrote: »

Way to make me feel like a slag. Fuck it I wont go out with her then, I'll just be fucking single and depressed.
I'll end it later.

Niamh, don't listen to him (her?) It was a pretty shit thing to say.

xx

Former Member

Everyone thinks it though, I know they do. Yea, I guess I have had a lot of relationships but I've spent fucking years with old men who make you do things you don't want to.
Finally I've broken away from most of the older guys, and it's nice to be able to do what I want. Not be under their control.
Yes, call me a slag, whatever. I spent years being told what to do. I finally have a choice. I'm like a kid in a candy store.

Former Member

B-A I say go for it. If you really like this girl then dont listen to what anyone says to try make you feel bad. You deserve a good time

Former Member

young_and_broken wrote: »

B-A I say go for it. If you really like this girl then dont listen to what anyone says to try make you feel bad. You deserve a good time

Exactly dont let one persons view affect what you wanna do!! He clearly has no idea about what your life actually is like so dont let it upset you

Former Member

No one thinks your a slag B A, If this girl makes you happy and you make her happy then anybody who cares about you would be happy to.
Go to the party, have fun, don't get drunk, be home by ten and call your mum if your gona be late xx

Former Member

young_and_broken wrote: »

B-A I say go for it. If you really like this girl then dont listen to what anyone says to try make you feel bad. You deserve a good time

:yes: It's your relationship BA; no-one elses.

Former Member

Don't let other people's opinions get you down B-A, it's your life, not theirs. Go out and enjoy yourself while you've got the chance

@The Convincer- Was there really a need mate?

Former Member

The Convincer wrote: »

Umn, aren't you dating everyone, including on here, except me? I really can't keep up with it.

no need. Some times you should keep your own counsel.

Former Member

Akk I just don't think I'm in the right mind frame to do anything at the moment. If one persons thinking it then others have to be.
I've only got 3 lessons today, and I can make it two, so I wont have to see many people. I'm not in the mood to be socail.
That comment just hit me where it hurts, you know. I have learnt to put up with a lot of shit, about self harm and being "mental" and just the general every day insults, but some things are harder to put a brave face on.
Thanks anyway guys.
Xx

Former Member

it doesnt matter what other people think.
Some people will ALWAYS think the worst, but most people will be fine.
You cant live your life by what a few people think