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To be or not to be? that is the question... or is it a fact that its all in my head
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
does anyone believe in true love?
does anyone believe in "sings" of true love?
does anyone beleive that all things happen for a reason?
or does anyone believe that live is just a game and you have to play the cards you are delt?
i cant decide... to me it seem like all 4. i thought i found my true love. i thought there were sings that we were true loves for eachother. because of our situation i though we happened for each other for a reason. but now the question is "is life a game?" did i lose my love because i had a crappy hand? or did i just not play the game right?
does anyone believe in "sings" of true love?
does anyone beleive that all things happen for a reason?
or does anyone believe that live is just a game and you have to play the cards you are delt?
i cant decide... to me it seem like all 4. i thought i found my true love. i thought there were sings that we were true loves for eachother. because of our situation i though we happened for each other for a reason. but now the question is "is life a game?" did i lose my love because i had a crappy hand? or did i just not play the game right?
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Yes, I believe in signs of true love and, of course, all things happen for a reason - though we don't always have control over the reason. Life is a game and you do have to play the hand you are dealt. But the decisions you make or, if you prefer, the way you play the game, will ultimately determine whether you succeed or fail, win or lose.
Other than that, no one can say why you lost your love, as we don't know your circumstances. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be. Sometimes our own behaviour can affect the outcome.
lets see
he was concieved on my birthday
he was born 20 miles away from where i live
when he was a baby his family moved 3,000 miles away
i met him in a chat room like 7 years ago
he still lives 3,000 miles away
we bacame friends
still we have never met
we lost contact for about 5 years
we became friends again
his cell phone number is almost the same as my SSN
we actaually fell in love if thats not weired enough
we have some of the same intrest as in we both want to own our own auto shops!
our grandfathers died on the same day
we were almost together for 2 years
we started to plan a family together
still we have never met
To go back to your original question, we are just evolved life forms - nothing more. I believe that you have moments of true love - but it's not 27/7.
So there are no 'signs', nothing 'happens for a reason' and it's only a 'game' insofar how people play the game of attraction. Some people are secure, sensitive and genuine whereas some are just insecure, insensitive and false.
Online relationships do sometimes blossom into true love, but it is pretty rare. The trouble is that people are not always truthful. They can pretend to be someone else. Even if you see a photo, there is no guarantee that the photo is actually of the person posting the message. Sometimes someone might start a relationship with a person online to avoid dealing with problems in their own life. They might be unhappily married, for instance, and find it a comfort to be able to share their problems and dreams with an online friend, instead of talking to their wife/husband. Living so far apart, you have no way of knowing for sure what was going on in his life. Perhaps he met someone else.
Since you never met, you were never "together". The relationship was going nowhere. He has moved on. You need to do the same.
But anyway, I think falling in love is easy, when you're looking to do so. And when you're both looking to do so, it's the easiest thing in the world. Add in the longing and yearning and desire that comes with never meeting, and never having to get to know each other properly, learn about each other's flaws and foibles...well, that way, you could be desperately in love forever.
It's not fate, or destiny, or anything like that. It's just a chemical reaction in the brain that makes us want to fall in love, because falling in love feels good, and is gratifying. It's the easiest thing in the world, any idiot can fall in love.
Staying in love however, that's the difficult and amazing part.
I love that line in Captain Corelli's Mandolin where the father says to Pelagia - "love is what is left when being in love is burned away. When your roots are so entwined that it is inconceivable that you could ever part".
That's not fate or destiny either though. It's just habit and convention and a years of history enmeshing you together.
I can see why people want to believe in fate and soulmates and all that jazz, but really, there are lots of people you could fall in love with. If you can't have one, don't worry, he wasn't The One. There'll be another One along shortly.
thats a lovely quote
"Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love", which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."