oohh fuck

Former Member

Right, so I'm bisexual and to be honest I didn't want people to know this. Now, I told a few people but SOMEHOW most people know now. I'm really really upset, the people I told I thought I could trust and they know a lot of my other "secrets." So, basically, I don't know what to tell people. I've blocked like everyone from school on my msn so I dont have to speak to them... but we go back on Tuesday and it'll be hell :crying: I don't want everyone to know, and if my mum finds out she'll be really angry :nervous: There is so much stuff I've only told those few people, and no one else, so I just don't know what to do :crying:
And sorry, I didn't really know where to put this.
Xx

Former Member

don't mind so much. Treat is as if you told them you have a new pair of jeans. It's just a usual fact. You wouldn't be upset if they mocked you for anew pair of jeans and if you don't be upset if they happen to mock you, they will lose interest very soon.

Look at the bright side, maybe some other girls you didn't knew were bi open up to you now not probable, but you know... good attitude n stuff.

Former Member

Tbh, i think if you act normal it will be fine. Things are old news fast in school, the time tuesday comes around half the people would of forgotten and the rest wont be that fussed. But if they are and people ask you stuff, just don't react as if its a big deal and they will get bored.

Former Member

ok, this sounds really patronising blah blah, but it's not supposed to be
when i was 12/13 ish, it was quite fashionable in my year for people to be bi.
i'm not saying you're bi because it's fashionable, but that does mean a lot of the people in your year won't see it as a bad thing to mock you for, so even though you didn't want people to know, and it was a shit thing to do for those others to tell, but you can make it look ok on the outside, even if inside it's hurting, because most people will not care, or respect you for it.

does that make sense? i've confused myself.

Former Member

Yeah.. there is a boy who came out as bi and he gets bullied for it now (well, he did till he started hanging out with year 11)
I just think I'm going to avoid year 8s all together when I go back, most my friends are in upper years anyway.

It really isn't "fashionable" to be bi at my school. What I'm most worried about is if my mum finds out ??
Xx

Former Member

Broken-Angel wrote: »

Yeah.. there is a boy who came out as bi and he gets bullied for it now (well, he did till he started hanging out with year 11)
I just think I'm going to avoid year 8s all together when I go back, most my friends are in upper years anyway.

It really isn't "fashionable" to be bi at my school. What I'm most worried about is if my mum finds out ??
Xx

Does anyone at your school no your mum personally? like parents of some kids or anything like that? If so, maybe its a thought to tell your parents yourself before it gets to them?

Former Member

Loved Up Blonde wrote: »

Does anyone at your school no your mum personally? like parents of some kids or anything like that? If so, maybe its a though to tell your parents yourself before it gets to them?

This.

Or even just tell her that somebody is spreading a rumour about you and you wanted to tell her it wasn't true before she heard it from elsewhere.

Former Member

I can't tell her, she'd kick me out I know she would. I told her one of my friends was bi, and she was like "You can't know such things at that age, it's rediculous, her mother should be ashamed" blah blah blah... I was like oh shit. I thought she'd be alright with it, but she isn't. I tried to pierce my lip and she kicked me out for god sake! Sent me to my mates house for days. So if she does find out I think I'll just deny it.
Ohhh god :-( I don't think she knows anyone at my school, I went there so she didn't know anyone because there were so many lies spread about me at my last school she believed.
Xx

Former Member

Broken-Angel wrote: »

I can't tell her, she'd kick me out I know she would. I told her one of my friends was bi, and she was like "You can't know such things at that age, it's rediculous, her mother should be ashamed" blah blah blah... I was like oh shit. I thought she'd be alright with it, but she isn't. I tried to pierce my lip and she kicked me out for god sake! Sent me to my mates house for days. So if she does find out I think I'll just deny it.
Ohhh god :-( I don't think she knows anyone at my school, I went there so she didn't know anyone because there were so many lies spread about me at my last school she believed.
Xx

I don't think your mum will kick you out, but I think she is right that at 12/13 its hard to label yourself forever - maybe that's what she meant - that you're still working out who you are so you shouldn't put yourself in ANY box straight / bi / gay for now.. just enjoy life and date who you like, and in a few years when you look back its easier (if you want to) to put yourself in the right box.

I don't like labels anyway.

It sounds like there are a lot of vicious rumours that go round about you at school. Are you being bullied? Have you spoke to one of your teachers? You said you spoke to the deputy head before who put you on a special teaching plan? Maybe you should speka to him - just say first there were rumours about you being pregnant, now rumours about you being bi, and you don't like it etc.

I hope you're ok x

Former Member

I don't think it's bullying tbh, I've been a bit of a bully for years I guess and now I've sort of backed down I think people are getting there own back. It's fair enough, I've been a complete bitch at school for years and years.
And the DH I spoke to will only tell my mentor, and I don't want her to know she'll go OTT.

I think I'm just over reacting about it all, it's been a hard few weeks for me haha! I'm going to leave it, the less said about it the better I guess.
Xx

Former Member

Yeah just try not to worry about it I guess.

I know this sounds weird, but from my experience its the rumours / made up stuff that people tend to make a big deal of, rather than if something is actually true.

One of my really good friends came out as gay when we were in year 8 (for the record... he is still very much gay ) and he didn't get hardly any hassle. If anything, people stopped spreading random rumours about him, because suddenly it was true. And we had a lesbian couple a few years back and they didn't have any problems, when they started their relationship.

I know you don't want people to know, and that is fine, but I think that if people do find out they won't necessarily react as badly as you may think.

Hope tuesday goes OK.

Former Member

Parents act differently when its their own child who's bisexual or whatever. Because although they may not agree with it, although i don't really think it is a subject to agree on, rather than just accept, your mother loves you, and she doesn't love the other kid who came out, so she wants you to be happy, and i think she must know that you're not gonna be happy if you squash down your sexuality, and pretend to be straight for her. and if you do tell her yourself, at least you could tell her that you 'think' you're bi, rather than 'are'. because even if you're certain, at least you're kind of showing that you accept that she doesn't think you can be certain as a teenager. sometimes it's worth just keeping the peace. hope this helps???

Former Member

If my mum can cope with me there must be hope for everyone else lol. It is so hard to know who to trust with your secrets when you really need to talk and share them, i have learnt that people who are happy to my friend in one situation are quick to distance themselves from me if other more influential people are around i have always found girls to be much meaner than boys, when boys will laugh and shout at you it soon calms down and they move onto the next person they can humiliate for fun, but girls can be rather more subtle and just wear away any confidence or feeling of belonging that you have had but maybe thats because i need the freindship and acceptance of females.Its to late for advice i know but my rule is i only tell people who need to know.
Just keep smiling and rise above it im sure going back to school will not be as bad as you think.
"HUGS"

Former Member

I have a girlfriend.I don't know if I'm gay or Bi all I know it that I love my girlfriend. If you like someone it shouldnt be for their gender but for who they are as a person.
I was suprised with how supportive my friends were but have to admit my parents took it harshly, they came round though. So maybe yours will eventually.

Former Member

You'll grow out of it.

Former Member

The Spocker wrote: »

You'll grow out of it.

:rolleyes:

Former Member

The Spocker wrote: »

You'll grow out of it.

Hardly a helpful comment, though not surprising given a number of your other posts. Please bear in mind which community you've joined here and the common courtesy all users can expect from each other.

Former Member

isn't he just posting crap to get his URL seen by search engines?

Former Member

Erm I think spocker needs to get out more!

Former Member

Big Gay wrote: »

isn't he just posting crap to get his URL seen by search engines?

Think that's how it started, still hopefully no harm done in the end, some people just have some really odd emotional reactions to places that don't support abusive behaviour...

Former Member

Best thing is try and ignore it when you get a troll posting things like Goatse images, well that and hit the 'report post' button so we can deal with the situation. Ah, the joys of online services

Former Member

geneve wrote: »

UUUUUUMMMMM, yes, was I the unlucky one to get here just after he posted the effed up bum pictures? I think my mind is scarred for life!

You'll never forget your first goatse!

Former Member

Hey :wave:

When i was 13ish i thought i was bisexual too, i experimented with girls and now know im just curious.. im not generally attracted to women... but there are a few id think ooooh hell yeh! :eek:

I kept it quiet about my "experiments" for years as i was probably around your age and it was considered "gross" :yes:
Im 18 now, and most people know ive done things with girls... and to be honest nobody cared. I think most people have that curiosity edged into them, some find it early in life, some later in life but i think its there.

Like people have already said, dont make a big deal out of it. Dont label yourself bi or straight... just admit to yourself you have a healthy attraction to males and females, theres NOTHING wrong with that, dont ever let anyone tell you there is.

If i were you i would maybe have a heart to heart with your mum and just say something like "mum.. just lately ive been attracted to boys and girls... " and see her opinion on it, dont tell her your bi.. or straight.. most people dont like labels.. and your mother might realise at your age you might just be curious and she will come to terms with it. a mothers love for a child is unconditional, it doesnt go away! Like someones already said, her opinion might be alot different as its her child not someone elses.

as for the kids in school... if they make fun... just say "yeh i fancy both.. and what?" if you act not bothered they WILL get bored... if you feed them the fuel to keep coming back and torment you.. things will only get worse and they will know it bothers you!

Be proud of who you are lovely!!

Former Member

There realy is no reason to talk about this with your mum - certainly not until you're getting to the stage you want to bring girl/boy friends home.

Given the state of the relationship between you two, I'd advise against it.

Former Member

I have to agree with Big Gay. I have one rule in my situation and that is that i only tell those who need to know and only when they need to know life is complicated enough without inviting more aggrovation. It would be a wonderful world if everyone was opneminded and could see the world through others eyes but in reality it is not.

Former Member

Oh, don't get me wrong, where there's a reasonable family relationship, I'd probably suggest talking - in most cases it's a good thing. But I know that's not the case for everyone.

Former Member

Well, pretty much all my friends know at school now. Most of them are fine with it, and those who aren't can get fucked.
I had a few girls ask if I fancied them, because they wouldn't be friends with me if I did *rolls eyes* but I don't so it's all good. I only hang out with a very select group of people anyway, and most of them knew anyway, but all my less close friends know too. I don't really mind, nothing can be done about it now.
Xx

Former Member

yea, that's what I was saying. Listen to uncle strubbs more he has some interesting points.

Former Member

Haha, okay Uncle S lol x
Xx

Former Member

I understand exactly the situation your in, i told one of my closest and longest known friends that i was gay in confidence she would support me and i could tell others later. When i got round to telling them it turns out the night i told her she text and called all of them letting them know!
I was a bit hurt but it saved me a job at the end of the day and now theyre all fine with it.

Parents are hard to evaluate with how they may react, i doubt she is going to find out about it considering most roumers die out pretty quickly.

Just dont be ashamed of who you are.

Former Member

Broken-Angel wrote: »

Well, pretty much all my friends know at school now. Most of them are fine with it, and those who aren't can get fucked.
I had a few girls ask if I fancied them, because they wouldn't be friends with me if I did *rolls eyes* but I don't so it's all good. I only hang out with a very select group of people anyway, and most of them knew anyway, but all my less close friends know too. I don't really mind, nothing can be done about it now.
Xx

This just shows who your true friends are, I think. I used to go to school with a set of twins who came out as gay. My reponse was "ok, fine" and that was it. It didn't change my opinion of them.

They did say "don't worry; I don't fancy you". Even if they did, it's not a big deal.

If it does bother people, they're the ones with the issue - not you.