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oohh fuck
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right, so I'm bisexual and to be honest I didn't want people to know this. Now, I told a few people but SOMEHOW most people know now. I'm really really upset, the people I told I thought I could trust and they know a lot of my other "secrets." So, basically, I don't know what to tell people. I've blocked like everyone from school on my msn so I dont have to speak to them... but we go back on Tuesday and it'll be hell :crying: I don't want everyone to know, and if my mum finds out she'll be really angry :nervous: There is so much stuff I've only told those few people, and no one else, so I just don't know what to do :crying:
And sorry, I didn't really know where to put this.
Xx
And sorry, I didn't really know where to put this.
Xx
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Comments
Look at the bright side, maybe some other girls you didn't knew were bi open up to you now not probable, but you know... good attitude n stuff.
when i was 12/13 ish, it was quite fashionable in my year for people to be bi.
i'm not saying you're bi because it's fashionable, but that does mean a lot of the people in your year won't see it as a bad thing to mock you for, so even though you didn't want people to know, and it was a shit thing to do for those others to tell, but you can make it look ok on the outside, even if inside it's hurting, because most people will not care, or respect you for it.
does that make sense? i've confused myself.
I just think I'm going to avoid year 8s all together when I go back, most my friends are in upper years anyway.
It really isn't "fashionable" to be bi at my school. What I'm most worried about is if my mum finds out ??
Xx
Does anyone at your school no your mum personally? like parents of some kids or anything like that? If so, maybe its a thought to tell your parents yourself before it gets to them?
Or even just tell her that somebody is spreading a rumour about you and you wanted to tell her it wasn't true before she heard it from elsewhere.
Ohhh god :-( I don't think she knows anyone at my school, I went there so she didn't know anyone because there were so many lies spread about me at my last school she believed.
Xx
I don't think your mum will kick you out, but I think she is right that at 12/13 its hard to label yourself forever - maybe that's what she meant - that you're still working out who you are so you shouldn't put yourself in ANY box straight / bi / gay for now.. just enjoy life and date who you like, and in a few years when you look back its easier (if you want to) to put yourself in the right box.
I don't like labels anyway.
It sounds like there are a lot of vicious rumours that go round about you at school. Are you being bullied? Have you spoke to one of your teachers? You said you spoke to the deputy head before who put you on a special teaching plan? Maybe you should speka to him - just say first there were rumours about you being pregnant, now rumours about you being bi, and you don't like it etc.
I hope you're ok x
And the DH I spoke to will only tell my mentor, and I don't want her to know she'll go OTT.
I think I'm just over reacting about it all, it's been a hard few weeks for me haha! I'm going to leave it, the less said about it the better I guess.
Xx
I know this sounds weird, but from my experience its the rumours / made up stuff that people tend to make a big deal of, rather than if something is actually true.
One of my really good friends came out as gay when we were in year 8 (for the record... he is still very much gay ) and he didn't get hardly any hassle. If anything, people stopped spreading random rumours about him, because suddenly it was true. And we had a lesbian couple a few years back and they didn't have any problems, when they started their relationship.
I know you don't want people to know, and that is fine, but I think that if people do find out they won't necessarily react as badly as you may think.
Hope tuesday goes OK.
Just keep smiling and rise above it im sure going back to school will not be as bad as you think.
"HUGS"
I was suprised with how supportive my friends were but have to admit my parents took it harshly, they came round though. So maybe yours will eventually.
:rolleyes:
Hardly a helpful comment, though not surprising given a number of your other posts. Please bear in mind which community you've joined here and the common courtesy all users can expect from each other.
Think that's how it started, still hopefully no harm done in the end, some people just have some really odd emotional reactions to places that don't support abusive behaviour...
When i was 13ish i thought i was bisexual too, i experimented with girls and now know im just curious.. im not generally attracted to women... but there are a few id think ooooh hell yeh! :eek:
I kept it quiet about my "experiments" for years as i was probably around your age and it was considered "gross" :yes:
Im 18 now, and most people know ive done things with girls... and to be honest nobody cared. I think most people have that curiosity edged into them, some find it early in life, some later in life but i think its there.
Like people have already said, dont make a big deal out of it. Dont label yourself bi or straight... just admit to yourself you have a healthy attraction to males and females, theres NOTHING wrong with that, dont ever let anyone tell you there is.
If i were you i would maybe have a heart to heart with your mum and just say something like "mum.. just lately ive been attracted to boys and girls... " and see her opinion on it, dont tell her your bi.. or straight.. most people dont like labels.. and your mother might realise at your age you might just be curious and she will come to terms with it. a mothers love for a child is unconditional, it doesnt go away! Like someones already said, her opinion might be alot different as its her child not someone elses.
as for the kids in school... if they make fun... just say "yeh i fancy both.. and what?" if you act not bothered they WILL get bored... if you feed them the fuel to keep coming back and torment you.. things will only get worse and they will know it bothers you!
Be proud of who you are lovely!!
Given the state of the relationship between you two, I'd advise against it.
I had a few girls ask if I fancied them, because they wouldn't be friends with me if I did *rolls eyes* but I don't so it's all good. I only hang out with a very select group of people anyway, and most of them knew anyway, but all my less close friends know too. I don't really mind, nothing can be done about it now.
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I was a bit hurt but it saved me a job at the end of the day and now theyre all fine with it.
Parents are hard to evaluate with how they may react, i doubt she is going to find out about it considering most roumers die out pretty quickly.
Just dont be ashamed of who you are.
This just shows who your true friends are, I think. I used to go to school with a set of twins who came out as gay. My reponse was "ok, fine" and that was it. It didn't change my opinion of them.
They did say "don't worry; I don't fancy you". Even if they did, it's not a big deal.
If it does bother people, they're the ones with the issue - not you.