Gf Troubles..

Former Member

Been with my gf for just over 6 months now, and i have to say, im not really all that happy.
It all boils down to the little things, like her only putting 1 kiss on the end of the text, when i put more, also i never get a nice texts that say for example "im missing you, love you loads"... i never get any of that.

To me, it just seems like she really doesn't care or have an interest in me. When i see other friends messages on facebook that they write to their loved ones, it makes me feel kinda, not cared about!

Also, another big thing is sex..
You need a certain amount of sex in a relationship to keep you both together, in my opinion.

Im lucky if i get it once every couple of weeks! That's how bad it is!
When i try kissing and coming on to her, i get pushed away and told NO.
Then when i ask for an explantion i just get "Dunno" back in my face.
Sometimes, i have to ask for oral sex, tbh, i shouldn't even have to ask, i just go down on her whilse both getting turned on, without her asking me, then when i ask, i get told NO.

what do i do??? this is everytime!
Ive tried talking to her about it but im just not getting any answeres.
I really don't want to finish it because i love her, yet im unhappy.

Any advice please ??

Former Member

brad1987 wrote: »

Been with my gf for just over 6 months now, and i have to say, im not really all that happy.
It all boils down to the little things, like her only putting 1 kiss on the end of the text, when i put more, also i never get a nice texts that say for example "im missing you, love you loads"... i never get any of that.

To me, it just seems like she really doesn't care or have an interest in me. When i see other friends messages on facebook that they write to their loved ones, it makes me feel kinda, not cared about!

The thing is some people are just like this...me being one of them! I am not romantic at all, my ex on the other hand was. I never said things like "I'm missing you" and only ever said I loved hi occasionally, he knew I did and forntuantly didn't need to hear it all the time. I don't and never do put a 'x' on the end of texts, whether it be to friends, family whatever...I just don't! Just because she doesn't do these little things doesn't mean she doesn't care :no:

As for he sex being once in a while I think most relationships reach this point after the 'honeymoon' stage, don't pressure her and mther her for it as this really won't help. Have you sat down and asked if there is anything bothering her maybe stress with work/uni whatever? This can have a knock on effect on peoples sex lifes. I know it does with me.

Former Member

to be honest, what you've written about, as you've said, is just the little things around the relationship. apart from those, what is the relationship like?

Former Member

Yeah she is a bit stressed with uni work, but tbh im stressed from my job too, i have to do 3 jobs in 1 and it's very stressful, but it doesnt effect my sex drive at all.

I don't think she can see that this is reall pushing my away, because it doesn't make me feel loved one bit!
Im not trying to change her, but it's not good if im not happy, right?

Former Member

Big Gay wrote: »

to be honest, what you've written about, as you've said, is just the little things around the relationship. apart from those, what is the relationship like?

Yeah but these "little" things add up to big things for me.
Overall, its on my mind at all times that im with someone whos not even interested in me.

Former Member

If she wasnt interested in you, she wouldnt be with you. I've had this same stuff come from my ex about not seeming interested and it blew up into several big rows.

Just sit her down and tell her everything you've told us. Then tell her you dont want an answer straight away as being put on the spot like that is horrible. Give her some space, then after a couple of days talk to her again and make sure she knows you're unhappy with the situation. If she cares for you she wont want to see you unhappy

Former Member

I agree with Lexi99, she wouldn't be with you if she didn't want to be, but is it possible that she's also unhappy with something about the relationship? Maybe she feels that you don't listen to her as much as you used to, or that you don't have as much fun together as you used to. You need to talk to her about how you feel, but I also think you need to hear how she feels, because there could be more to this than you're aware of.
I don't think you should think that she's not interested in you, because some people react to stress by becoming more focused on solving the problem, like she seems to be doing with uni. Maybe to her the idea that she doesn't care about you is so idiotic that she can't even contemplate anyone believing it, so she doesn't feel the need to show that she loves you. It might sound insane, but I've felt like that about people in the past.

exposed

different people show their love in different ways. i've had girlfriends who smother their love all over facebook and myspace etc, and i've had girlfriends who wouldn't be seen dead near a keyboard.

Former Member

Really, you've got to think about what makes you happy. Folk would tell you not to focus so much on others' exchanges of love and do what you feel is right for you. Thing is, Some people aren't romantic - as mentioned earlier - and it works alright for them, but of course, that approach perhaps isn't for everyone - yourself included.

There is still the chance that the uni workload is getting to her a little bit. People have their own ways of dealing with it, even if it means they haven't got much energy left for you at the moment.
Otherwise, maybe it's the end of the old honeymoon period, which tends to be a big test for many relationships.

If the relationship really isn't doing anything for you and you continue to feel unhappy, you really are going to have to start asking yourself some pretty difficult questions about the future with her. Perhaps you aught to have a few serious words with her about it and be pretty frank about what's bothering you.

Either way, communication is the best way of dealing with things like that, and it doesn't seem like there's been so much of that lately.

This might seem a fairily safe and secure relationship in a way for some, but does it make you happy? Even if it as simple as yourself just wanting a bit more affection.

Just a thought.

Former Member

to be realy my friend is that u should have a talk 2 her about it bt den again its only been 6months or u could play the dont bother tactic 2 ya shouldnt try 2 drain yaself or put it in simple terms try and put it on a hold 4 a second and ask her du u think we r gonna work maybe she might think ur breaking up with her but tell her that u want to kno a few things first its good to talk about it now instead of a later date ive had that problem where i left it till last and all went 2 hell aferwards but 2 be real jus sit her down and have a big talk about it and may be treat her to sugarcoat it at least i dunno if this would help ya bt good luck

Former Member

ive pretty much got the same problem, but with my gf she ignores my texts and stuff never replies to me or anything, but yet we will see each other pretty much everynight bar one or 2 a week , when asked about it she gets uptight and annoyed im asking and well it makes me unhappy. also im the type of person that needs some reasurance, i keep thinking why is she with me if since she seems she dotn want me in her life.

Former Member

Stealth Tha 89 wrote: »

to be realy my friend is that u should have a talk 2 her about it bt den again its only been 6months or u could play the dont bother tactic 2 ya shouldnt try 2 drain yaself or put it in simple terms try and put it on a hold 4 a second and ask her du u think we r gonna work maybe she might think ur breaking up with her but tell her that u want to kno a few things first its good to talk about it now instead of a later date ive had that problem where i left it till last and all went 2 hell aferwards but 2 be real jus sit her down and have a big talk about it and may be treat her to sugarcoat it at least i dunno if this would help ya bt good luck

No capital letters, no full stops, commas, etc etc ... I nearly asphyxiated myself trying to read (and understand) that! Fuck! :banghead:

Former Member

brad1987 wrote: »

Been with my gf for just over 6 months now, and i have to say, im not really all that happy.
It all boils down to the little things, like her only putting 1 kiss on the end of the text, when i put more, also i never get a nice texts that say for example "im missing you, love you loads"... i never get any of that.

do you mean she only puts one "x" while you do "xxxxx" ? If yes, it's hilarious. This Xx-kiss-gesture is completely and utterly meaningless

Former Member

Stealth Tha 89 wrote: »

to be realy my friend is that u should have a talk 2 her about it bt den again its only been 6months or u could play the dont bother tactic 2 ya shouldnt try 2 drain yaself or put it in simple terms try and put it on a hold 4 a second and ask her du u think we r gonna work maybe she might think ur breaking up with her but tell her that u want to kno a few things first its good to talk about it now instead of a later date ive had that problem where i left it till last and all went 2 hell aferwards but 2 be real jus sit her down and have a big talk about it and may be treat her to sugarcoat it at least i dunno if this would help ya bt good luck

The translation (think old english accent):

I do believe that it would be an utmost excellent idea if you both sat down with your parents to discuss this issue further. Then again, it has only been a period of somewhat six months.
The alternative option available would be that you could show a lack of interest, as you wouldn't want to emotionally drain yourself.
To put this in 'working class' speak, you could simply ask of her,
'darling, do you think that we are suited to each other?'.
Although if you do ask her this, there may be a risk that she will think you would like to dismiss her!

However, if you keep a firm hand (just like when we handle the ponies) and request that there are a number of items you would like the answer to now.
I have previously experienced such behaviour, where I, being the silly gentleman I am, left my questions until the very last moment, and then (please forgive me dear lord for using this word), but hell was released.
My suggestion to you dear sir, would be to sit the lady down and discuss your issues (and maybe give her a sugar cube wtf?). I'm not sure if this would assist you in any way, but I wish you luck for your journey!

Tally ho!!