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Gf Troubles..
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Been with my gf for just over 6 months now, and i have to say, im not really all that happy.
It all boils down to the little things, like her only putting 1 kiss on the end of the text, when i put more, also i never get a nice texts that say for example "im missing you, love you loads"... i never get any of that.
To me, it just seems like she really doesn't care or have an interest in me. When i see other friends messages on facebook that they write to their loved ones, it makes me feel kinda, not cared about!
Also, another big thing is sex..
You need a certain amount of sex in a relationship to keep you both together, in my opinion.
Im lucky if i get it once every couple of weeks! That's how bad it is!
When i try kissing and coming on to her, i get pushed away and told NO.
Then when i ask for an explantion i just get "Dunno" back in my face.
Sometimes, i have to ask for oral sex, tbh, i shouldn't even have to ask, i just go down on her whilse both getting turned on, without her asking me, then when i ask, i get told NO.
what do i do??? this is everytime!
Ive tried talking to her about it but im just not getting any answeres.
I really don't want to finish it because i love her, yet im unhappy.
Any advice please ??
It all boils down to the little things, like her only putting 1 kiss on the end of the text, when i put more, also i never get a nice texts that say for example "im missing you, love you loads"... i never get any of that.
To me, it just seems like she really doesn't care or have an interest in me. When i see other friends messages on facebook that they write to their loved ones, it makes me feel kinda, not cared about!
Also, another big thing is sex..
You need a certain amount of sex in a relationship to keep you both together, in my opinion.
Im lucky if i get it once every couple of weeks! That's how bad it is!
When i try kissing and coming on to her, i get pushed away and told NO.
Then when i ask for an explantion i just get "Dunno" back in my face.
Sometimes, i have to ask for oral sex, tbh, i shouldn't even have to ask, i just go down on her whilse both getting turned on, without her asking me, then when i ask, i get told NO.
what do i do??? this is everytime!
Ive tried talking to her about it but im just not getting any answeres.
I really don't want to finish it because i love her, yet im unhappy.
Any advice please ??
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Comments
The thing is some people are just like this...me being one of them! I am not romantic at all, my ex on the other hand was. I never said things like "I'm missing you" and only ever said I loved hi occasionally, he knew I did and forntuantly didn't need to hear it all the time. I don't and never do put a 'x' on the end of texts, whether it be to friends, family whatever...I just don't! Just because she doesn't do these little things doesn't mean she doesn't care :no:
As for he sex being once in a while I think most relationships reach this point after the 'honeymoon' stage, don't pressure her and mther her for it as this really won't help. Have you sat down and asked if there is anything bothering her maybe stress with work/uni whatever? This can have a knock on effect on peoples sex lifes. I know it does with me.
I don't think she can see that this is reall pushing my away, because it doesn't make me feel loved one bit!
Im not trying to change her, but it's not good if im not happy, right?
Yeah but these "little" things add up to big things for me.
Overall, its on my mind at all times that im with someone whos not even interested in me.
Just sit her down and tell her everything you've told us. Then tell her you dont want an answer straight away as being put on the spot like that is horrible. Give her some space, then after a couple of days talk to her again and make sure she knows you're unhappy with the situation. If she cares for you she wont want to see you unhappy
I don't think you should think that she's not interested in you, because some people react to stress by becoming more focused on solving the problem, like she seems to be doing with uni. Maybe to her the idea that she doesn't care about you is so idiotic that she can't even contemplate anyone believing it, so she doesn't feel the need to show that she loves you. It might sound insane, but I've felt like that about people in the past.
There is still the chance that the uni workload is getting to her a little bit. People have their own ways of dealing with it, even if it means they haven't got much energy left for you at the moment.
Otherwise, maybe it's the end of the old honeymoon period, which tends to be a big test for many relationships.
If the relationship really isn't doing anything for you and you continue to feel unhappy, you really are going to have to start asking yourself some pretty difficult questions about the future with her. Perhaps you aught to have a few serious words with her about it and be pretty frank about what's bothering you.
Either way, communication is the best way of dealing with things like that, and it doesn't seem like there's been so much of that lately.
This might seem a fairily safe and secure relationship in a way for some, but does it make you happy? Even if it as simple as yourself just wanting a bit more affection.
Just a thought.
No capital letters, no full stops, commas, etc etc ... I nearly asphyxiated myself trying to read (and understand) that! Fuck! :banghead:
do you mean she only puts one "x" while you do "xxxxx" ? If yes, it's hilarious. This Xx-kiss-gesture is completely and utterly meaningless
The translation (think old english accent):
I do believe that it would be an utmost excellent idea if you both sat down with your parents to discuss this issue further. Then again, it has only been a period of somewhat six months.
The alternative option available would be that you could show a lack of interest, as you wouldn't want to emotionally drain yourself.
To put this in 'working class' speak, you could simply ask of her,
'darling, do you think that we are suited to each other?'.
Although if you do ask her this, there may be a risk that she will think you would like to dismiss her!
However, if you keep a firm hand (just like when we handle the ponies) and request that there are a number of items you would like the answer to now.
I have previously experienced such behaviour, where I, being the silly gentleman I am, left my questions until the very last moment, and then (please forgive me dear lord for using this word), but hell was released.
My suggestion to you dear sir, would be to sit the lady down and discuss your issues (and maybe give her a sugar cube wtf?). I'm not sure if this would assist you in any way, but I wish you luck for your journey!
Tally ho!!