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Long Term Relationship Break-Up (Your Experience)

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    No, too painful! Too many memories! Best to make a clean break.

    You're probably right. I know in my heart it's not a good idea, and I have told him that, but I suppose I feel guilty that he isn't getting any sex and so feel the need to help him out in a weird way !!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    squeal wrote: »
    You're probably right. I know in my heart it's not a good idea, and I have told him that, but I suppose I feel guilty that he isn't getting any sex and so feel the need to help him out in a weird way !!

    I think you've got to weigh up the pros and cons of the sex vs the feelings you'll both have afterwards with regards to one another
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    skakitty wrote: »
    I think you've got to weigh up the pros and cons of the sex vs the feelings you'll both have afterwards with regards to one another

    :yes: I don't think it can ever be as simple as 'helping him out" and if it is, what kind of gain is that? Part of getting your self-esteem back after the end of a relationship is giving yourself more credit.

    Best thing I've heard on this topic (it's easy for any of us just to say 'no don't do it - you'll get messed up') is:

    Do you really want five years of a relationship that at some point meant a great deal to you, to be boiled down at the final hour to casual sex? If you get into a bootie call situation then there's a danger that this might happen.

    Anyway, no matter what, try to put your own needs first on this one. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **Helen** wrote: »
    Best thing I've heard on this topic (it's easy for any of us just to say 'no don't do it - you'll get messed up') is:

    Do you really want five years of a relationship that at some point meant a great deal to you, to be boiled down at the final hour to casual sex? If you get into a bootie call situation then there's a danger that this might happen.

    Anyway, no matter what, try to put your own needs first on this one. :)

    I think you're right Helen, looking at it from that point of view, I don't. Thanks for all the replies :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    squeal wrote: »
    Last week I ended a five year relationship. It wasn't a nasty break up in the slightest, we'd had a weekend away and everything was just as it usually was, except at the end of it we broke up, it was expected, we both knew it was going to happen. It was my decision, he just wasn't right for me long-term, and even though I was happy, it wasn't fair to stay in the relationship when we could both be finding someone more suitable. However, I really miss him and can't imagine right now that I am going to get over him, it sounds stupid I know, when it was me that ended it.

    What I'm asking is, anyone that has experienced a long term relationship break up, how long did it take you to move on from it? I feel so alone right now and all I want is for him to be here to hold me and make everything alright again. I think it's harder due to the fact that I was happy with him and it didn't end horribly.

    Thanks for any replies.

    it depends cuz i had a long term relationship for 4 month and i like her alot but she broke up with me cuz she wanted a bf that could hold her and stuff wich i understand but it killed me all i did was listhening to her favorite song and cry people made jokes about it so i fighted them i love her so much she was my first gf its been 6 month and i still cant get over her i knew her hole life she use to live close to me for 10 years. when she broke up the same day she found someyone else and yet still im hurt so idk so trust me your not the only 1
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dead thread
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote: »
    Dead thread

    Dead, but a great read though... Didn't realise it was from 2010. But quite a few useful things in there.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Shikari wrote: »
    Dead, but a great read though... Didn't realise it was from 2010. But quite a few useful things in there.

    I found it a good read too and it made me realise how much things changed! I can't even remembering posting in here but the person I was posting about I never ever think about anymore, and im with a lovely guy who iv just bought a house with, just shows how time moves on :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's an encouraging update!
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